Tapping into that source

Hey farmboy! How's my favorite songwriter?

I don't know about your favorite songwriter, but I'm tense because of work.

But it's Saturday...

I know. And I also know I don't want to talk about my fuckin' job.

Then let's talk about your real work: songwriting.

Ah, thanks. It's really good to hear somebody acknowledge that.

Not much to report, except I wrote a verse and a sort-of chorus yesterday, and I've been adding song ideas to my "song ideas" document that I keep on my desktop for easy access. How fuckin' professional of me, huh?

I'm impressed. That's a good idea.

Thanks.

So I've been tapping into that source, you know, and we'll see what comes up out of the ideas. They're kind of like the seeds for songs, you know? I read over all these ideas once in a while to see if there's anything there that's clicked yet. Or that has the potential to click.

It's good to have that kind of thing. I used to put up poster board in my room when I lived in Austin, and I'd write them down so I could see them all the time. Now I use the computer for it, nut it seems to work just as well, if not better. I don't look at them as often as I did when I used the poster board, but that's okay.

It keeps you writing...

In one way or another.

What have you been listening to, farmboy?

Mostly podcasts of NPR-type stuff, you know, Terry Gross, that kind of stuff. Not much music, which is a real shame. I've been playing, though. I'm working on this Tom T. Hall song. He's written some songs that are fuckin' great.

So you've been musically busy?

Somewhat. Yeah, I guess I have. I've also got a couple gigs in the next few weeks, which is way cool. And I really do want to start working on the new CD. Even if it's just a guitar/vocal type thing, I still need to get started. Plus all the looking for gig stuff, it's all kinda overwhelming. I could use some help.

I'll help in any way I can, farmboy.

Thanks -- I appreciate it. And anyway, you're already helping. A lot. I don't say thank you enough, man. But I do really appreciate it.

Anytime.

Man, you're such a good friend. Thanks.

You're very welcome.

Fighting back

Fuck, man, I had this fuckin' bad day at work. Three fuckin' days in the school year and already it's turned to shit.

But I don't want to talk about that.

What do you want to talk about, farmboy?

About how I can't stick up for myself, have an opinion and/or be in any conflict without feeling bad and guilty and I have to obsess over it and completely think about it and relive it over and over and fuckin' over again. And that's just wrong. Why can't I let myself be fuckin' human once in a while? What the fuck?

So what I'm talking about then is my age old nemesis: Mental Illness.

I am not talking about work. My job already takes up way too much of my time and life. I don't want to give it any more attention than what the greedy bastard demands. And believe me, it is not blameless.

So I'm back to Mental Illness. Ah, what did you do this summer? You found other things to do than torment me, you motherfuckin' son-of-a-prick. Damn this. Damn this.

So what are you going to do, farmboy?

Fight back.

Attaboy!

Fighting back means making the music my life, enjoying the people I love and who love me, and, you know, trying to eat healthy and get some exercise and (laughs) drink water and read good books and fun novels...all sorts of shit, man, all the positive stuff. That's what I mean by "fighting back."

Counteracting the negative with the positive.

Exactly! That's what I'm talking about, man!

Now that...that can give life meaning.

That's what my whole existence on this planet has been made of.

You can never have enough sad songs

How are you, man?

Well, I'm...

I'll tell you, man, I am so tired. Plus I haven't eaten much all day plus I went and played instrumental guitar at the Ronald McDonald House and my hands -- my fuckin' carpel tunnel kicked in and it was actually painful to play. (laughs) You know, if it's acute pain, then maybe I can finally qualify for medical marijuana.

How are you doin', man?

Thanks for asking. I'm good. Summer's ending and that always makes me just a little sad.

I know it.

I think it would make a good song, and I think you're the person to write it, farmboy.

I wrote a verse to one earlier. I was with you, in fact.

I remember. Maybe that's why you came to mind.

Well, I'll go back and look at it and maybe there's something there. You can never have enough sad songs, you know?

Look, I'm gonna go get something to eat and rest for awhile, okay? Do you mind?

Of course not, farmboy. Have a good night.

You too, pal.

Remind yourself who you are

So today was the first day of school...

How was it?

It was okay. No major catastrophes in our room.

Anything you need to talk about? About work, I mean.

No, not really. That's not what you're here for and that not anything I care to talk about on my dime, you know? This is my time. Music time.

That's the farmboy I know!

Damn fuckin' right. I gotta work on this CD.

Really?

Yeah. You sound surprised.

No, I'm just really glad. You write these songs and work on them and work on guitar and work on vocals. I think you need to record a CD just to remind yourself who you are.

I know. This is going to be fun. I need to figure out a budget and then figure out how I'm going to get that budget. I'm thinking about doing this thing called Kickstarter, which is this online thing to help you raise money. I need to look more into it, ask some people about it, see if maybe it'll work. And then do a very simple CD, with minimal backing. I would like to have a fiddle on it. Ideally I'd also like to have upright bass and maybe some percussion.

Maybe put together a little combo...

I love the word "combo."

What do you think, farmboy?

I think I don't play well with others. But, on the other hand,I think that may be a good idea, especially if it's just me and the percussionist and the bassist. I'll have to think about it. Of course, the other thing is that I don't have to use the rhythm section on every song. I'm still a long way off from that kind of decision. But it's a good thing to consider.

I'm glad you're thinking about this stuff, farmboy.

You know, I'm back to work for ten fuckin' months. I gotta have something to live for.

Different types of musical clothes

So I've had, like, this incredibly lazy day, made all the more valuable by the simple fact that I'm back at work so I can feel muy thankful for time off. It's such a luxury.

Right now I'm making supper. Which is basically spaghetti but I'm using a different type of pasta. Right now the water's boiling.

Sounds good. Do you make your own sauce?

Oh, hell no. It comes from a can.

I gotta think of some new music to listen to when I go to bed at night. Any suggestions?

Is this music to fall asleep to, farmboy?

Yep.

You know, one of the things about living in an apartment is that I really have to be pretty quiet at night. Not that I'm a loud person; I mean, I'm basically pretty quiet and considerate, especially for a musician.

So what this means is that I just have to spend some time hunting on the internet. A lot of nights in the past few months I find myself listening to Ali and Toumani by Ali Farke Toure and Toumani Diabate. From Africa. Mali. Beautiful stuff, almost trance-like at times.

Instrumental?

Mostly. There's some singing.

Music is important when you're falling asleep. It's hard, at least for me, to find the good stuff.

I need to try to...well, not exactly copy it, but think about it when I'm writing. I need to try on some different types of musical clothes for a while...Again, not copying it,,but finding some way where the feeling of it is infused in my own music.

Is that hard, farmboy?

It's hard in that you want to be kinda influenced, and it's sorta difficult to do that when you're so fuckin' conscious of it. It's always best to be as natural as possible, to not force anything. I'm not the type who wants to control the music so much.

We'll see. Maybe I've planted a seed. I'm going to be writing more. You never know what's going to come up.

Souinds like an adventure, farmboy.

To be sure, dude. Music should always be an adventure.

Close contact with words

Hey, this is Labor Day weekend, all the kids go back to school Tuesday, I only have a few more performances for the grant, and there's now a piano at work.

There's also some major stuff going on at work, but I don't feel like talking about it.

Is everything okay, farmboy?

Oh, I'm okay. It's mainly about a teacher who's having some major challenges right now. There is literally nothing I can do about it. It's just interesting and worrisome and -- up to a certain point -- none of my business.

It's good that you know that.

So, what's up with you, man? What's your life been like lately?

Good. It's been good. I'm reading the same book that you've been reading.

Freedom? By Jonathan Franzen?

That's the one. I just started it. It's very interesting.

I'm loving it, myself. I'm amazed how readable it is...I mean,it flows so naturally that it's just effortless to read. I would like to write songs like that.

Some people would say that you already do.

Well, that's the goal for me, to be as natural as possible in my music. In my lyrics and in my singing. (laughs) I guess it's working.

This songwriting stuff, it's fuckin' hard a lot of the time, but when you get it it's fuckin' wonderful.

I've been taking myself more seriously as a writer lately. Which is not as good as actually writing,

you know?

Yes, but you've been reading more lately...

That's true, and the last book I finished was a novel about a writer. The John Irving book.

But, you know, it's having close contact with words. That's important.

Hey, here's my little lesson for the day. In his book On Writing -- which I haven't read yet, but I will -- he says that to be a writer, you have to write a lot and read a lot. There's no two ways around it.

I can believe that.

Translate that to songwriting -- write a lot, listen a lot -- and we got something there, you know?

I'll start again, fresh

Fuck, man, I'm back at work. This is already the second day and I'm already getting fuckin' pissed off, I can't...I won't,,,I won't live like that. I'm going to take an anxiety pill and get a good night's sleep. And then I'll start again, fresh.

How's that sound?

Sounds good, farmboy.

I agree. Good night, man. I'll talk at you later, Mr. Interviewer Man.

Later, farmboy.

Later.