Days like this can be dangerous

It's raining outside and so I'm looking at spending the entire day indoors. I'm walking up and down my living room area to get my steps in. Time never waits for the Fitbit, you know.

You're so good at that, walking every day, even if it's indoors.

We'll see. We'll see if I get to the goal. But every step taken is one step closer, or some cliche that I really hate hearing.

I'll tell you one thing that's improved over the past few years since the fuckin' accident. I have, I guess you'd call it, concentration now. I just finished a book. For the longest time I couldn't read, and now I can finish books! It's amazing, I tell you!

What book did you read, farmboy?

The Nickel Boys by Colton Whitehead.

Was it good?

It was great. He's such a good writer. I had read an earlier book of his called The Underground Railroad that won some big award. It was truly amazing, and just fuckin' brutal. It can be hard to read about all that cruelty. I don't know, cruelty seems like a weak word for what went on in the South during those times. Just horrific, I can't imagine it.

So I've been reading a lot, mainly biographies and autobiographies about musicians and songwriters. The Nickel Boys was different in that respect. It's a novel.

So are you going to stay inside and read all day?

I've got practicing and writing that I have to do, and I need to finish the walking, if I can. It will just help make me feel better about myself. Days like this can be dangerous for me; my self esteem can go way down thinking about everything I should be doing. But I'll get through, your know? I'll use weed as a reward, so I won't be smoking for a while.

I think that's a good decision, farmboy. Get some stuff done. Who knows, you may even write a song.

That would be real nice. It's been a few weeks since the last one I completed. I'd like to get a new song. Even though I feel like I can't complain because I've had, and am still going through, a very fruitful time of writing. When it works, there's nothing like it.

So maybe I'll try. At the very least, I'll play for a bit. I'll make the most of this day. Or at least I'll attempt to.

Whatever you get done will be fine.

That's true. Every day goes into the next, and it will all go okay. No reason to freak out here. Move along.