What didn't happen

Man, today has not been a good day at all. I don't know why I continue to go on, I swear to God. 

What happened, farmboy?

More like what didn't happen. Nothing happened in my sorry excuse for a life. I work and work and work and there's never any payoff. How am I supposed to keep going when whatever I do has no bearing on my life.

It's like losing weight. Wouldn't you be pissed if you watched all your calories, ate right, exercised, all the fuckin' shit you're supposed to do -- and nothing firkin' happens. Or if you were to write songs, song after song, for years, only to awaken one day and discover that you have no fuckin' audience, nobody gives a shit about your music. That's what it's like.

No wonder you're frustrated.

I'm fuckin' beyond frustrated, man. I don't have a fuckin' clue. Its too fuckin' hard. I can't do this anymore. I can't live like this anymore. But what do I do? I mean, I'm alive, I've got to fill my time. And if I'm not trying to achieve something, I'm just going to be more fuckin' miserable than I am now.

So you're stuck, farmboy.

I'm fuckin' stuck. No matter what I do, no matter which way I go, my life is damned near unlivable. Because nothing will fuckin' happen! What the fuck am I supposed to do?

I don't know, farmboy. I'm sorry. I know it's hard. I know this isn't the first time you've felt like this, and it probably won't be the last.

But when is something going to fuckin' happen? How can this be happening? I feel like I'm in this alternative world where nothing ever changes for the better. 

I hate to say this, farmboy, but you're just going to have to be patient.

Patient? I've been fuckin' patient all my fuckin' life. It's all I know. Something needs to fuckin' happen. Something needs to fuckin' change.