storytelling #3: new conclusion

What I've learned since then is that winning is fun, but nothing can compare with the creation of the song. I've also learned that growing older is so good for my art. At 62, I'm not looking for my voice much anymore. Now I just want to use it. Which is why I'm booked for a CD release concert in May 2018 at artichoke music. You all are invited. 

Yeah, I'm no mockingbird anymore. These days, I feel more like a caterpillar right before it becomes a butterfly.

performance: "cocoon"

your good intentions

I'm the damage that you caused
with your good intentions
you say you didn't mean to harm me
but that's exactly what you did
the cops should enforce restraining laws
against your good intentions
your good intentions are the one thing
that God should forbid

witness

rising of the sun
against all odds, the earth spins
you are a witness

Storytelling #3, more

Introduction:

I just did what I was not supposed to do: make music. I swear, when I was born everybody got together for a meeting where people said "Paul wants to be a musician. Lets stop that now." I tried out for chorus in elementary school and was rejected. Do you know how bad you have to sing to be rejected from an elementary school chorus? I have two brothers. My parents wanted my older brother to play the pedal steel guitar in country bands. My younger brother was supposed to become a classical guitarist. Me -- my parents chose short order cook or accountant. I even had some so-called friends who arranged a small intervention me to tell me I should never sing. I remember waking up the following morning and singing with the radio, then stopping because I remembered what they said.

So I did the one musical skill I wasn't told I couldn't do. I became a serious songwriter. I started in the first grade. By the time I was an adult, I had a pretty big secret self-identity as a songwriter. 

Body:

It was around this time that I read about a songwriting competition at the Kerrville Folk Music Festival in the hill country of central Texas.

I entered, and was not selected for the new folk competition. I was furious and, from that moment on, determined to get in the contest.

• entering year after year, writing constantly and sending in my best work
• rejection year after year, every year the suspense and consequences becoming higher (suicide by pizza).
• All the years this was happening, I started performing and recording while working a day job at a public library. I was also entering other songwriting competitions, and was selected for some and even was a winner at a couple of them.
• entering and being selected to compete at Columbia River Folk Music Festival, performing songs that were Kerrville rejects
• winning the competition
• performance "I could be great at romance" (1 verse)
• invitation to play main stage at Kerrville

I worked everyday for my appearance in front of the Kerrville audience.

• being on stage and performance, Steve and Cindy, Alisa
• realization that I was being paid, etc, for performing songs that had previously been rejected.
• turning and facing the festival producer like a man possessed
• getting called back for an encore. At Kerrville, everybody gets called back for a encore, but this was my encore.
• I stayed up way late at the festival, got an official ride to my hotel room, got snacks from the vending machine, cranked up the free air-conditioning, and immediately fell asleep.

Conclusion:

So what did I learn? It's really fun to compete if you're the winner but, ultimately, it's only the song that matters. Everybody is working hard to express themselves in song as well as they can. It's hard work, and I became really uncomfortable with the idea of artistic competition. 

But it is fun to win and I felt like I had won in a big way. Which taught me this lesson: the combination of vindication and victory is the sweetest revenge of all.

I need your strength

from the first rooster crowing
to the dimming of the moon
I wander this world
through darkness and gloom and I
am only human
a breakers of laws
but today I am humble
because
I need your strength
I need your strength
I need your strength
I need your strength

cancel my subscription to the blues

I'm working
I'm trying
I'm saying goodbye 'n
I'm through with the daily news
it don't make no sense
and I'm late with the rent
cancel my subscription to the blues

Storytelling #3 continued

Introduction:

song: Mockingbird

I just did what I was not supposed to do: make music.

• discouragement of music making (school, father, friends)
• I did the musical thing I wasn't told I couldn't do: I became a songwriter
• by the age of 19, my self-identity was as a singer/songwriter. 
• I entered the first songwriting competition I heard of: the Kerrville Folk Music Festival.

Body:

I entered, and was not selected for the new folk competition. I was furious and, from that moment on, determined to get in the contest.

• entering year after year, writing and sending in my best work
• rejection year after year, every year the suspense and consequences becoming higher
• entering and being selected to compete at Columbia River Folk Music Festival, performing songs that were Kerrville rejects
• winning the competition
• invitation to play main stage at Kerrville

performance of "I Could be Great at Romance" (1 verse)

I worked everyday for my appearance in front of the Kerrville audience.

• being on stage and performance, relax, Steve & Cindy, Alisa
• realization that I was being paid, etc, for performing songs that had previously been rejected.
• turning and facing the festival producer like a man possessed
• I stayed up way late at the festival, got an official ride to my hotel room, got snacks from the vending machine, cranked up the free air-conditioning, and immediately fell asleep.

Conclusion:

So what did I learn? It's really fun to compete if you're the winner and that, ultimately, it really is only the song that matters. Everybody is working hard to express themselves in song as well as they can. It's hard work, and ultimately the real reward is the song itself.

But it is fun to win and I had won in a big way. Victory and vindication.is the sweetest revenge of all.