one mississippi (rewrite 1)

count with me

till we reach

the edge of time

with every second

who knows what we'll find

another day of life

nears its nightly end

until the sun comes up

and it starts again

          one mississippi

          two mississippi

          that's all I know

          one mississippi

          two mississippi

          until it's time to go

life starts out

you don't remember

how it began

but somehow time

got a hold of you

and it got out of hand

and it keeps moving

forward and fast

racing through each second

until it has passed

          one mississippi

          two mississippi

          that's all I know

          one mississippi

          two mississippi

          until it's time to go

I want to spend

my time alive

exactly how I live

so much to do

in daily life

so much to take and give

let me spend my days

lost inside your love

there I will stay 

until I've had enough 

          one mississippi

          two mississippi

          that's all I know

          one mississippi

          two mississippi

          until it's time to go

on this summer day

the cat is sleeping in the living room

like he always does

tail moving, body still

all is peaceful with his paws

and I sit in the kitchen

time is racing down the hill

I will be sleeping, too

although it's against my will

all is gentle on this day

everything's within my grasp

I feel the best I ever have

it's too bad it doesn't last

but for now I'm feeling good

if you don't count my worries

I am taking my sweet time

I am not in a hurry

          nothing is happening

          all is calm

          what more can I say?

          time to lay out

          on the front lawn

          on this summer day

when winter comes, I will be warm

if only in my memories

temperature is doing fine

low 80s and high 70s

I will take the season as it comes

to take hold of my senses

I will hold onto every day

and live in present tenses

          nothing is happening

          all is calm

          what more can I say?

          time to lay out

          on the front lawn

          on this summer day

one mississippi

count with me

till we reach

the edge of time

till we touch the limits

that I know we'll find

another day of life

nears its nightly end

until the sun comes up

and it's day again

          one mississippi

          two mississippi

          that's all I know

          one mississippi

          two mississippi

          until it's time to go

life starts out

you don't remember

how it began

but somewhere you

got confused

it didn't go as planned

but time keeps moving

forward and fast

onward and upward

until all time has passed

         one mississippi

          two mississippi

          that's all I know

          one mississippi

          two mississippi

          until it's time to go

I want to spend

my time alive

exactly how I live

so much to do

right here on earth

so much to forgive

let me spend my final days

lost inside your love

there I will stay until my death

I can never have enough

          one mississippi

          two mississippi

          that's all I know

          one mississippi

          two mississippi

          until it's time to go

brand new day

I have a brand new day waiting for me

I think it holds my destiny

yesterday's gone, tomorrow's not here

so I'll trust whatever shall appear

whatever happens, I know it's okay

because I am in a brand new day

it's a brand new day and I'm alive

doing what it takes to survive

I do my best, I do my chores

and some days I do even more

but lately I'm a child at play

rejoicing in this brand new day

          for so long, my days contained the blues

          now today I finally know I get to choose

it's a brand new day and I am at peace

for once, the voices have declined to speak

and I will see what I've worked for so long

me and life, we're going to get along

for the first time, I get the right-of-way

and it happens on this brand new day

someone I'm happy to meet

I've found a new way for looking at life

let me tell it to you

wake up with your eyes wide open

and pretend it's all brand new

I see the sky, I see the trees

I see cars out on the street

I look in the mirror and see myself

someone I'm happy to meet

when I look at myself through new eyes

everything's living in focus

there is no magic that I can see

I sense no hocus pocus

it's just me here and I'm alone

trying to be complete

I just make conversation with myself

someone I'm happy to meet

I don't have any look-at-me questions

I know I'm here at last

impatiently waiting for my future

while I disregard the past

sometimes it's good to be alone

standing on my two feet

I feel so strong on solid ground

someone I'm happy to meet

soon I'll see you some tomorrow

somewhere on down the line

I will be where the wind takes me

I won't be left behind

I'm betting that good luck will wait for me

my journey is incomplete

I'm my own company now

someone I'm happy to meet

I'm out of surgery

I'm out of surgery

the drugs have worn off

I'm all sewn back up

and been through enough

and now it's time to take it easy

to rest the whole day through

and so I made some plans

this is what I'm gonna do:

I'm gonna break out the cheetos

turn on the TV'

let mindless living

make its mark on me

maybe take a big long nap

and have a snack or two

when I'm out of surgery

that's what I'm gonna do

I've got the guacamole

I've got tortilla chips

for the love of all that's holy

don't forget the onion dip

and don't dismiss the cannabis

and it's probably not wise to drink

when you're out of surgery

you throw in the kitchen sink

and so I'm out of surgery

I woke up after all

now it's time to relax

I'm still the same old Paul

the doctor, she done fixed me up

and I am good as new

now that I'm out of surgery

I know what I'm gonna do

it's my wedding day!

I am anxious but I'm committed

it will all go just as planned

why I am so concerned

I do not understand

I know just what I'm in for

and I don't know what to say

it's my wedding day!

the church is all decked out

there are candles everywhere

the aunts and uncles have arrived

all with perfect hair

soon all the hoopla

will surely be underway

it's my wedding day!

          everything is perfect

          I'm awaiting married bliss

          everything is perfect

          if I go through with this

yes, I guess it's pressure

from all sides of the street

it's a good thing she's the one

who makes me feel complete

so grab a slice of cake

come catch the bouquet

it's my wedding day!      

young again (rewrite 1)

the good ol' days are over

there are no more songs to sing

I hate to admit it

but old age changes everything

back when I was hopeful

back when I belonged

I thought life would improve

but I guess that I was wrong

          remind me of who I used to be

          when I was free as the wind

          let me continue to be me

          I want to be young again

I remember tea with whiskey

I remember your hand in mine

we took it all for granted

like we'd have endless time

but now our time is almost finished

never to ever return

now everything is diminished

the bridges have been burned

          remind me of who I used to be

          when I was free as the wind

          let me continue to be me

          I want to be young again

take me back to the old days

when life had barely begun

back when the days were new

back when life was fun

I do not want to be here

when life takes its final steps

I'm still among the living

life isn't through with me yet

          remind me of who I used to be

          when I was free as the wind

          let me continue to be me

          I want to be young again

I want to be young again

the exciting days are over

there are no more songs to sing

it's so sad to admit it

but old age changes everything

back when I used to be hopeful

back when I used to have pride

nothing has changed for the better

everything's weak inside

          remind me of who I used to be

          when I was free as the wind

          let me continue to be me

          I want to be young again

I remember drinking whiskey

I remember your hand in mine

we took everything for granted

we thought we'd have endless time

now time is almost finished

never to ever return

now everything is diminished

everything's already been learned

          remind me of who I used to be

          when I was free as the wind

          let me continue to be me

          I want to be young again

take me back to the old days

when life had just barely begun

back when the days were beginning

back when life was fun

I do not want to be here

when life takes its final steps

I still have a passion for living

life isn't through with me yet

          remind me of who I used to be

          when I was free as the wind

          let me continue to be me

          I want to be young again

job application

will you pay me under the table?

I don't want any money withheld

I don't want anybody involved

and I can take care of myself

I'm best at the job I am doing

there's no competition for me

I am the greatest asset

you could have for your company

I started out a poor kid

from the backwoods of Kentucky state

but I had the talents needed

to become somebody great

and that's why I'm here at your doorstep

waiting for my future to call

I know I will be the chosen one

the best applicant of them all

I don't think I need to convince you

I've got my hand on the knob

of the drawer containing my tomorrows

you know I'm the one for this job

you can search the whole town over

you can question what needs to be seen

you can read all of the applications

but you'll never find another like me

so go ahead and hire me

I've got no plans and I can start today

you will be my place of employment

there's not much anybody can say

if you want, I can start tomorrow

or any day, it all will be fine

I will be your best employee

you made the right choice this time

until I understand

ask me a question

I will answer you the best I can

but I have to mention

it may not turn out exactly as you planned

I have my own mind

and I'm not afraid to use it

you can try, you can try

your best to confuse it

but I, but I

will do the best I can

until I understand

give me an answer

to the questions I have in my heart

I have a chance here

to see everything that's tearing us apart

and I have reasons

for the way that I feel

I'm through with believing

that you have something to reveal

and I, and I

will be just who I am

until I understand

          I will listen

          the best I know how

          the place is here

          the time is now

take some time with me

let me figure out what I'm to do with you

I'd like to be free

from the torment that you can put me through

I am hoping

that I can see the error of my ways

my heart is open

but my mouth doesn't know what words to say

and I, and I

will build my castles out of sand

until I understand

summer's here again

seagulls squawking at the shore

too loud for tourists to ignore

they argue like they're in a war

where neither side can win

teenage beauties always wake up

and carefully put on their make up

for boys with whom they want to take up 

it's summertime again'

Tom sells drugs down at the pier

speaks so soft you can barely hear

but he can change your atmosphere

if you've got a little cash

Sandy sleeps inside her room

from morning till the afternoon

some say she's growing up too soon

but they're just talking trash

          and summer comes around once more

          exactly like it did before

          you wish you had a special friend

          summer's here again

Maria wears her bathing suit

all the boys think she's cute

but she is just a substitute

for the girls they really want

late at night and you're downtown

go and take a look around

all you'll find are midnight sounds

at a Denny's restaurant

          and summer comes around once more

          exactly like it did before

          you wish you had a special friend

          summer's here again

everybody's out of school

no need to follow official rule

you try your best to stay cool

it's burning hot outdoors

but a good time will soon be at reach

with the kids down at the beach

no tie to learn, no time to teach

who wants anything more?

          and summer comes around once more

          exactly like it did before

          you wish you had a special friend

          summer's here again

bloodstream (rewrite 1)

I can't stop it

I won't quit

talk about trauma

this is it

you're no good for me

that's all I know

but it's so damn hard

to let you go

I am addicted

that's for sure

and I'm convinced

there's no cure

why do I

feel like this

like you're the only one

to ever exist

          I need you out of my bloodstream  

          I need you to let go of me

          I need you out of my bloodstream

          I need you to set me free

to me you are my

mountaintop

but what I need

is a way to stop

where can I go

what can I do

all I need

is to escape from you

          I need you out of my bloodstream  

          I need you to let go of me

          I need you out of my bloodstream

          I need you to set me free

summertime is here

children dressed in summer clothes

drinking water from a garden hose

where time goes, nobody knows

summer feels so long

when you are eight years of age

icicles and lemonade

dogs march in imaginary parades

step to a summer song

          summer's here

          school is out

          that's what the fuss

          is all about

          best time of the

          whole damn year

          summertime is here

it's not winter, spring or fall

the sunflowers are standing tall

teenagers meet at the mall

summer's in the air

maybe you might feel too hot

then again, maybe not

iced tea just might hit the spot

that summer put right there

          summer's here

          school is out

          that's what the fuss

          is all about

          best time of the

          whole damn year

          summertime is here

in a few months the wind will blow

the snow will make your whole world cold

and summer will be getting old

and then you will remember

the warm, calm nights spent at home

on the porch or parts unknown

ice cream in a waffle cone

in those days before September

          summer's here

          school is out

          that's what the fuss

          is all about

          best time of the

          whole damn year

          summertime is here

bloodstream

I can't stop it

I won't quit

talk about heaven

this is it

you're no good for me

that's all I know

but it's so damn hard

to let go

I am addicted

that's for sure

and when I feel like this

there's no cure

why do you

make me like this

like you're the only one

to ever exist

          I need you out of my bloodstream  

          I need you to let go of me

          I need you out of my bloodstream

          I need you to set me free

what I need

is all unknown

I'm looking for 

a way back home

where I can go

what I can do

all I need

is to get away from you

          I need you out of my bloodstream  

          I need you to let go of me

          I need you out of my bloodstreamI

          I need you to set me free

breathe in courage

breathe in courage

breathe out fear

out into the atmosphere

where it will softly

disappear

right into the air

breathe out fear

breathe in courage

watch out you

don't get discouraged

times will settle

just as sure as

you're the one who cares

breathe in belief

breathe out doubt

it's something you

can live without

you can holler

you can shout

but you must be patient

breathe out doubt

breathe in belief

you work so hard

you are not a thief

pretend that you're

not filled with grief

that you're going

on vacation

I will never find my true home (rewrite 1)

 

I was born in the state of confusion/ I was raised in a state of grace/ I've searched the wide world over/ but I still don't know my place/ it doesn't  matter where I wander/ makes no difference if I roam/ I will always look over yonder/ I will never find my true home

I will never find my true home...

all my life I've been so lonesome/ the one who never fits in/ I stand away from the crowd/ uncomfortable in my own skin/ every place I ever go/ I'm always on my own/ just another stranger/ I will never find my true home

I will never find my true home...

maybe tomorrow/ I'll find someone to trust/ but my words are all uneven/ stranded in the dust/ soon I'll head out somewhere/ where my sins are all unknown/ I know one thing for certain/ I will never find my true home/ I will never find my true home

I will never find my new home... 

I will not be denied

I will open my eyes

I'll take in every sight

until the time comes

when I say good night

and then I will sleep

the sleep of the dead

and it won't matter

any words I've said

          stay with me

          until the tears subside

          I will get through this loneliness

          and I will not be denied

magic in their eyes

I cannot walk

I cannot run

I mostly stay at home

and sometimes when

the chores are done

I like to read alone

I do not find my way downtown

I am not amid traffic

instead I try to settle down

with my National Geographics

where I can travel everywhere

who knows what I'll find

yes, I can travel everywhere

inside my own mind

          I'd like to thank every photographer

          for the magic of their eyes

          and their ways and means 

          for thoughts unseen

          in bright and cloudy skies

          for every image that you bring

          I can see everything

          I'd like to thank every photographer

          for the magic in their eyes

some people feel sorry for me

because I can't go anywhere

but when I need to feel free

my imagination is there

inspired by the photos

on a daily basis

in the desert of my life

I have found an oasis

where I can travel everywhere

just see what I can find

yes, I can travel everywhere

inside my own mind

          I'd like to thank every photographer

          for the magic of their eyes

          and their ways and means 

          for thoughts unseen

          in bright and cloudy skies

          for every image that you bring

          I can see everything

          I'd like to thank every photographer

          for the magic in their eyes

beginning of the fall

no matter how much work I do

it never all gets done

with every problem I get two

and I can't fix either one

well, today I am rebelling

I won't do any work at all

it's a story well worth telling

it's the beginning of the fall

I started to fall when I tried

to have something up my sleeve

I look so deep inside

but sometimes it's hard to believe

and when I fell, I fell so hard

I almost couldn't get up

I wound up broken, my spirit was scarred

I knew I had enough

can you assist me?

can you hear?

help cannot be found

I keep thinking that it's near

and I'll make it to higher ground

for now I stand in a stranger's land

waiting for destiny's call

I hope someday to understand

it's the beginning of the fall

everything I should

I've made so many plans

that were never fulfilled

thinking I can't do it

and somebody else will

but I'm wrong

that answer's no damn good

why don't I do

everything I should

I get up in the morning

and start my day

just wishing these worries

will go away

but they don't

I'm not doing what I could

why don't I do

everything I should

          I'm waiting for a reason or excuse

          I'm tired of always being the caboose

I have such good intentions

I mean to do my best

so tell me why I fail

when life puts me to the test

I should try

to beautify my neighborhood

why don't I do

everything I should

maybe tomorrow

I'll do what needs to be done

it's all in the name

of looking out for number one

until then

I'll be misunderstood

why don't I do

everything I should

          

family reunion

 

Well, I'm home now. The family reunion was great. It was too short, though. Lots of riding in a car, but that was all right. It was so good to see everyone. It makes me realize how much I miss my family. I could live down there again, easily. I'm going to cut this short because I just got in. Back to songwriting tomorrow!

I will never find my true home

 

I was born in the state of confusion/ I was raised in a state of grace/ I've searched the wide world over/ but I still don't know my place/ it doesn't  matter where I wander/ makes no difference if I roam/ I will always look over yonder/ I will never find my true home

all my life I've been so lonesome/ the one who never fits in/ I stand by myself away from the crowd/ uncomfortable in my own skin/ every place I ever go/ I always stand alone/ living as another stranger/ I will never find my true home

I look for what I'll never see/ it's all a mystery/ knowing that I don't belong/ I try the best I can/ but I still don't understand/ how my life has turned out so damn wrong

maybe tomorrow I'll learn something new/ maybe I'll find someone to trust/ but till then my words come up empty/ they leave me stranded in the dust/ soon I'll head out in the distance/ where my mistakes are all unknown/ I only know one thing for certain/ I will never find my true home/ I will never find my true home 

new town

I am in a new town/ with new sights all around me/ new people surround me/ I don't know who I am/ in a village full of strangers/ is it safe or is there danger/ all these new experiences/ I don't quite understand

I am in a new place/ my eyes have never seen/ I am an old machine/ and I am breaking down/ but still I stare in wonder/ at the newness that I see/ sunshine pouring over me/ I am in a new town

walk around/ listen to the sounds/ let them ring inside my brain/ take a walk/ listen to locals talk/ nothing here is the same/ I don't know anyone's name

I am in a new town/ I will not be here long/ back where I belong/ is where I will go/ but for now I am here/ where the sky is so clear/ I am in a new town/ somewhere I should know

Trip update#1

I am in Santa Paula, California right now, for my family reunion. So I'm typing on a kindle and we'll see how that works.

I haven't traveled in so long. It feels strange to me. I'm too self conscious and afraid of making mistakes. Hopefully I'll get some material for songs. I haven't played guitar now for two days, which is some kind of record. I'm hoping they have one at my brother's house.

I saw my sister and her husband Mike last night, plus my nephew Isaac and his girlfriend, who is a cobbler and very nice. We're in a classy rental house right now, we being my brother Kirk, his wife Lisa, and their daughter Scarlett.

Don't have any idea for songs, but hopefully they will come. And hopefully I'll get to play guitar soon. That's about it for today. More later.

somewhere I don't know (rewrite 1)

I've got my guitar

the stars are aligned

the car's full of gas

I'm ready this time

to take body and mind

where they need to go

off in the distance

somewhere I don't know

I've been scared of adventure

for my whole life

everything the same

that's what I like

but today I feel different

I cannot be slow

I need to find purpose

somewhere I don't know

          I was once afraid before

'         I don't feel that anymore

so start up the engine

step on the gas

the future is waiting

and it's coming fast

there must be some place

where somebody can grow

I know home is out there

somewhere I don't know

I'm going home

I don't want to admit my fear

but it's getting the better of me

what can I do

I barely move

and the rest is history

I sit on the front porch

to rest my weary bones

I'm going home

I'm going home

how are you all doing

tell me how you've been

after all these many years

it's good to see you again

lately I have seen some things

that are better left alone

I'm going home

I'm going home

          seems like my hometown

          has something up it's sleeve

          it's so much fun to visit

          knowing that you'll leave

all these private landmarks

all these fields of green

grasshoppers jump like 

they're bouncing on a trampoline

today I am going into

what might be the unknown

I'm going home

I'm going home

I know I will survive this

and soon it will be done

chances are it might be

an opportunity for fun

but still it feels like something

that you have outgrown

I'm going home

I'm going home

somewhere I don't know

I've packed my bags

the stars are aligned

the car's full of gas

I'm ready this time

to take body and mind

where they need to go

off in the distance

somewhere I don't know

I've been scared of adventure

for my whole life

everything the same

that's what I like

but today I feel different

I can't live below

I need to find good news

somewhere I don't know

          I was once afraid before

'         I don't feel that anymore

so start up the engine

put my seat belt on

and wait until morning

I'm leaving at dawn

there must be some place

where I can grow

I know peace is out there

somewhere I don't know

time bomb

it gets harder everyday

to talk sense to myself

to live life the way I want

with my poor mental health

I tell myself I'm lucky

I tell myself I'm sane

but the little voice inside me

insists that I'm to blame

for every single problem

for my sorrows and my fear

I am doing the best I can

to get out of here

          my heart is like a time bomb

          beating in my chest

          still I know whatever I do

          I will do my best

the bomb is slowly ticking

the end is soon to come

no wonder I have panic

my fight has just begun

I worry about everything

I'm frightened and I'm sad

I don't know what to do

when I feel this bad

but still I will continue

to do what I can do

I will keep on trying

until my days are through

          my heart is like a time bomb

          beating in my chest

          still I know whatever I do

          I will do my best