keep on doin'

I'm all set and ready to go
my bag is packed with memories
and for now I just want you to know
you're at the very top
I know all I could know about you
I've witnessed your history
and from what I've seen
it's certain you'll never stop

          keep on doin' what you're doin'
          I know that you're a shoo-in 
          everything that you've been through
          is now far behind you
          keep on being who you're being
          fact is, you're the one I'm seeing
          right at the top of the list
          is where anyone can find you
          keep on doin'
          keep on doin'

before this life is over

before this life is over
one thing I want to see
is there anybody anywhere
who's as much a loser like me
I do what I'm supposed to
I may take my own sweet time
but I'm still confused and frightened
is this life of mine a crime?
I am waiting for redemption
I'm tired of being undercover
I just want a glimpse of sunshine
before this life is over

Beyonce

she sings and dances
it takes a lot of hard work
to be Beyonce

sidewalks

I walk on sidewalks 
and notice everything
(or whatever I can)
about spring
I could make a list
but it wouldn't say nothing good
about my walking
in the neighborhood
the poppies are showing
their silky orange hue
every kind of wild plant
is making its way through
and I am inadequate
in describing what they are
and that's the reason
for the strings on my guitar

when you were young

when you were young
tears were not your moisture
instead you laughed all the time
the world was your oyster
you had hope and forgiving
life was worth living
a bright happy future, that's for sure
but now that you're old
life ain't so bright anymore

when you were young
adventure was just around the corner
drive across the USA
end up in New York or California
you were fearless and daring
and not used to caring
and never felt need to be clever
but now that you're old
those days are gone forever

when you were young
the joy you derived
you took it for granted
part of being alive
now it's never too late
to appreciate
that's one lesson you have learned
but now that you're old
you think those days will never return

when you were young
you were a regular Sinatra
you went after life
as if it were a piñata
now those days have gone
and you've moved on
but you're still a flaming ember
but now that you're old
the fun is all you remember

and that's where you get your fun 
remembering times in the sun 
so why do you still have that feeling
that you have barely begun
sometimes you feel like
when you were young

lookout

I've been on the lookout
for someone like you

over

nobody believes me
when I'm telling the truth 
about what happened
between me and you
I tried my best
to do what I had to do
and now it's over
now it's over

it's still a mystery
I do not know
the wheels are turning
but I can't let go
I tried my best
but the stakes were too low
and now it's over
now it's over

destination unknown

I was far away from home
destination unknown
so I picked up the phone
to call you for help
I can be better, I swear
than resting in your easy chair
sitting in my underwear
just being myself

          I can change
          watch me try
          with dreams as wide
          as the open sky

I am not perfect
I am not profound
I am not fun
to have around
and everywhere I hear the sound
of friends and family laughing
but with you I feel alive
I even have the will to try
highway traffic's just a lullaby
with trucks and taxis passing

           I can change
           you know it's true
           this time I'm changing
           completely for you

passing by

I was just passing by
when I saw the man
with evil in his heart
and a shotgun in his hand
and I asked myself
"what can I do"
and I couldn't think 
I couldn't think
as I fell down to the ground

when everything went wrong

when everything went wrong all at once
what did you do?
you cried and cursed and cried again
and then you made it through

face another day

I need to get started
but I'm still brokenhearted
I've seen too much to continue
starting over again
feels like there's no may to win
it's hard when you don't have it in you
still I need to get
up out of bed
pull those covers
off of my head
and face another day

nothing

there is nothing
for me to say
since it doesn't matter
what I say
nothing ever changes
especially myself
goddamn my bad luck

another day on klonopin

another day on klonopin
another day drugged till I'm dumb
anticipating the days yet to come
what the fuck
it's my run of bad luck
nowadays I just can't win
nowadays I'm drugged to the gills
questing my fair share of free will
start the truck
it's my run of fuckin' bad luck

bad luck #2

there is no reason
for me to get out of bed
in here nothing can happen
out there, I may as well be dead
'cause nothing ever happens
nothing ever changes 
nothing ever lasts
unless it's bad luck

unanswered

why is god punishing me?
wouldn't you like to know

quit writing

maybe I should just fuckin' quit writing
until there is something to say

a million reasons why

I was supposed to be an adult
but the child in me won out
I looked you straight in the eyes
and asked what is this all about
you looked at the ground
you shuffled your feet
silence was your reply
now I've got a head full of questions
and a million reasons why

the old stomping ground was solitude
it's all I've ever known
I've always been by myself
it's been my only home
I thought someday I'd get my wings
and take off for the sky
now I'm left with a head full of questions
and a million reasons why

rain and more rain

rain and more rain
the forecast for today
I want to find a patch of sky
and run away
and follow
wherever it may lead
no right foot on the brake
stomp down on the speed

          get me out of here
          as fast as I can go
          if there's anything holding me back
          I don't want to know

rain and more rain
the clouds have turned dark gray
ruining the plans
I had for today
with nothing to replace them
except another day at home
with my computer and my TV
to keep from being alone

          get me out of here
          as fast as I can 
          if there's anything holding me back
          I don't understand

rain and more rain
my umbrella is lost
my raincoat's in the backpack
and I'm paying the cost
I'm getting all wet
and there's no end in sight
give me a towel
maybe I'll be dry by tonight

          get me out of here
          as fast as I can run
          if there's anything holding me back
          I hope it's the rising sun

nothing to do but nothing

I got nothing to do but nothing
and that's okay
that's the way to live your life
in the USA
my past is written on my heart
and my resume
and work won't earn me
half my weekly pay

where I am
don't mean shit to me
'cause I can never get rid
of my misspent history
there's nothing but mistakes
far as the eye can see
I try to laugh,
but it's just a tragedy

surprise

is it a surprise
when you're up after you're down?
you're stronger than you think

when I walked to the store

I walked to the store today
I put one foot in front of the other
and I have to say
it was no fun
the prices were high
and, fact is,
so was I
I filled my cart
up to the sky
when I walked to the store

I bought what I was in the mood 
for -- heavy carbs
and processed food
it was no fun
the calories were high
and, may I add,
so was I 
I was so hungry I could cry
when I walked to the store

          I have no self-control
          when it comes to eating
          I eat a lot and then some more
          and the pattern keeps repeating

what am I gonna do
I'm getting wider
2 by 4
the door, I can't make it through
it was no fun
the consequences were high
must I add
so was I
all I needed was an alibi
when I walked to the store

showing up

I keep showing up
and suiting up
and sitting on the bench
waiting for my turn
waiting for my turn
you'd think after a day
I'd leave
they'd wonder where I went
you think that I would learn
you think that I would learn
but here I am again
convinced somehow that possibly
one day I would win

do the math (new verse)

I don't need no one's permission
to ask for your addition
baby, I'm you mathematician
you can count on me

million to one

I'm cleaning my apartment
I know I've said that before
but this time I really mean it
you'll be able to eat off the floor
when I'm done
chances are a million to one

money, drugs, and women

it was money, drugs, and women
that made me what I am today
it's like the mob and the government
I take your life away
and it don't matter to me
a single word you say
unless it's money, drugs, and women

I lie to you about
your road out of poverty
I dehumanize all women 
treat them as a commodity
I've got all that you can handle
I'm just like god, you see
the god of money, drugs and women

          you can call me evil
          and that may be true
          but I'm not doing anything
          would I lie to you?

I'll tear apart your dimestore dreams
if that's okay with you
and if you're looking for something else
here's what I'll do
tell you a world of lies
and swear that they are true
all about money, drugs, and women

I keep waiting

I keep waiting
for a life that will never come
no matter how hard I work
no matter who I am
no matter what I do
I keep waiting

trouble

trouble will return
trouble always does
and if you ask it why
trouble says "just because"
trouble breaks your heart
like your heart's made of glass
trouble is a pain in the ass

lessons I have learned

all I ever needed
is what I never had
and that's the reason why
I turned out so bad
when love is never given
love can't be returned
and that's just one of
the lessons I have learned

you can tell me your story
but don't expect me to talk
my life has been an earthquake
and you, an aftershock
you look forward to the game
but you always wind up burned
and that's just another
lesson I have learned

          all the problems I have faced
          add up to nothing new
          there is no way to replace
          the love I lost with you

everything I've waited for
is disappointing in the end
I look around
where did they go
my past and former friends
there is nothing in the future
as far as I'm concerned
just put it with the others
in the lessons I have learned

right thing

I try to do the right thing
but I always end up wrong

finally going home

I was waiting for something to happen
I was hoping something would change
I was tired of feeling like a passenger
for a ride that never came
so I waited
and I waited
and I waited again some more
then I finally had enough
and I walked right out that door
and I made my escape
into the great unknown
I was finally going home

"what do you want me to do?" I asked
silence was the reply
I thought about all the possible answers
that flew in the open sky
so I waited
and I waited
and I waited like I always do
waiting for the possibilities
an occasional dream to come true
and I made my escape
and I started alone
I was finally going home

my life is as boring as can be
I keep looking for a sign
I wait by the mailbox anxiously
but I'm beginning to feel resigned
but I still wait
and I wait
and I've waited as long as I can
all of this useless waiting
I still don't understand
still I made my escape
into the danger zone
I was finally going
I was finally going
home

luck 2

if my luck ever changes
if God really exists
if the world rearranges
from its continental shift
then maybe there's a chance for me
or then again maybe not
but then again, maybe bad luck
is the only friend I've got

if my luck ever improves
if God is on my side
if there's a choice, I'll move
to the exact opposite side
then maybe something will happen
to thicken up the plot
but then again, maybe bad luck
is the only friend I've got

if there's such a thing as luck
if God lets it come my way
if not, I guess I'm stuck
with dreading each new day
maybe I should accept it
maybe that's the life I've sought
but then again, maybe bad luck
is the only friend I've got

luck

if my luck ever changes
if God really exists
if the world rearranges
from its continental shift
then maybe there's a chance for me
or maybe there's not
maybe bad luck
is the only friend I've got

if my luck ever improves
if God is on my side
if there's a choice, I'll move
to the exact opposite side
then maybe something will happen
to thicken up the plot
but then again, maybe bad luck
is the only friend I've got

if there's such a thing as luck
then let it come my way
fact is, it don't give a fuck
about any words I say
then maybe I should accept it
maybe that's the life I've sought
but then again, maybe bad luck
is the only friend I've got