tea bags on the ceiling

we were throwing tea bags on the ceiling

we were laughing till we couldn't breathe

we were blind in love and feeling

all the joy that we believed

we didn't ask where will it go

it still remains inside, I know

but I still miss you so

we were strumming guitars after midnight

we were singing till our voices were gone

we weren't struggling just to do right

we weren't making choices to move on

we weren't afraid that it would end

we were just hanging with our friends

wish I could again

where have you gone to, my darling one

what has happened with all these years

we once ran a road we could build upon

now we harvest only tears

I have memories, I guess

but I still want all the rest

I want to live with every breath inside me

we were throwing tea bags on the ceiling

we were laughing till we couldn't breathe

chemicals

 

there is nothing that can harm me here/ though the reasons all are left unclear/ there is something in my veins/ that makes me worthy/ of living life the way I do/ though the reasons are all untrue/ I am waiting for the person that will be

am I waiting in vain/ for the magic to free my brain/ I have reasons to complain/ and complain is what I do

there is nothing that can harm me here/ there is no reason left to fear/ chemicals have come to save the day

standing still

 

I've never known satisfaction/ I've spent a lifetime waiting/ for something to spring into action/ I am not appreciating/ all the trouble that this world serves me/ it only exists to unnerve me/ sometimes I wake up in a hurry/ and this planet is just standing still

Guinness again

I want to drink Guinness again

like I used to way back when

I was a young man

my dreams shone like silver

I wasn't afraid like I am now

I always had hope

I used to, but still there

is something warning me

that I don't know how

I want to drink Guinness again

like back when I thought I might win

I yearned for my fortune

I longed for tomorrow

now look at where I've ended up

I placed all my bets

on a lifetime to borrow

and somehow it's never enough

          pour me another

          like when you used to

          I don't drink that much anymore

          I make my mistakes

          now when I choose to

          not like I used to before

I want to drink Guinness again

before whiskey was my best friend

and it did its damage

it stuck to my senses

now I can't touch a drop

it laughs and it teases

on all my defenses

I'm so sad that my time may be up

I want to drink Guinness again

like I used to way back when

I am not you

 

I am not you/ even though I try to be/ the only thing left to do/ is remain me/ and trust that I/ can do can do it well/ even though I'm no good/ at being myself

I am not you/ I've tried too long/ to copy you/ in my songs/ it is too hard/ I cannot tell/ even though I'm no good/ at being myself

afraid to move (rewrite 1)

 

I have to stay in one place/ because I'm afraid to move/ I have to stay indoors/ because there's nowhere else to choose/ I see danger in every alley/ every corner, every home/ I need familiar surroundings/ I'm scared of the unknown/ I've nothing left to prove/ I am afraid to move

I have to remain at home/ because something bad might happen/ I might fall in love/ set my feet and toes to tapping/ and that would be dangerous/ that would be the worst/ it's my experience/ that love is just a curse/  I don't know what I can do/ I am afraid to move

don't make me leave here/ I feel safe when there's nowhere to go/ out there is only fear/ and that's all that I know

I have to stay in one place/ I need to stay away from you/ my history has shown me/ there's nothing I can do/ I know it's an illusion/ there's nothing for me to fear/ but until it's proven to me/ I'm staying right here/ I know inside that it's not true/ but I'm afraid to move

afraid to move

 

I have to stay in one place/ because I am afraid to move/ I have to stay in one place/ because there's nowhere I can choose/ I see danger in every alley/ every corner, every home/ I need familiar surroundings/ I am so scared of the unknown/ it's so strange/ how people change/ seldom for the good/ so misunderstood/ with nothing left to prove/ I am afraid to move

I have to remain at home/ because something bad might happen/ I might fall in love/ set my feet and toes to tapping/ and that would be dangerous/ that would be the worst/ it's my experience/ that love is just a curse/ it's not fair/ that I am scared/ hiding out/ without a doubt/ I don't know what I can do/ I am afraid to move

don't make me leave here/ I feel safe when there's nowhere to go/ out there is only fear/ and that's all I need to know

I have to stay in one place/ I need to stay away from you/ my history has shown me/ that I'm afraid to move/ one day, one month, one year/ I will find a way to leave/ someday I'll discover/ what life has up its sleeves/ but until that day/ I'll be locked away/ is the prison of my own design/ until it's time/ I know inside that it's not true/ but I am afraid to move

give it a try

 

you have no right to enter my heart/ with all your facts and feelings/ your attention tears me apart/ it sets my mind a-reeling/ it's so much simple being all alone/ why must you complicate me/ it's so safe when I'm stuck at home/ so why do you make me/ think that I might have a chance/ with a woman like you/ I don't believe in true romance/ but tell me, what can I do/ I don't know why/ but I going to give it a try

one day in a million

 

you wake up in the morning/ drink a cup of coffee/ brush your teeth and shave/ and you're ready for today/ maybe it will happen/ voices ring and toes a-tappin'/ but chances are nothing much/ will ever go your way

but it may be that one day in a million/ with answers you've asked for reasons why/ it may be that one day in a million/ you'll never know until you try

the great unknown

 

I woke up in a different house/ than I normally do/ just what I was doing there/ fact is, I never knew/ just what was in store for me/ in this brand new home/ all I know is that I'm here/ living in the great unknown

I cannot make up my mind/ exactly where I belong/ I try to do whatever's right/ fact is, it turns out wrong/ I've made more mistakes/ that a man can make/ but I know one thing that's true/ when it comes time for the setting sun/ I'll stop and think of you

destinations unknown

I walked to the edge/ where ocean meets the sand/ and I wondered aloud/ "is this who I am?"/ I do not belong here/ this world is not my home/ I'm off to discover/ destinations unknown

when I was a young boy/ I failed at school/ I couldn't memorize/ the strength of their rules/ I followed the wind/ wherever it has blown/ and I left to discover/ destinations unknown

turn around

I have a reason for getting up 

out of my bed today

I know that good news will come

and it's on its way

ever since I met you

like hasn't been the same

for once I'm thinking of myself

as not the one to blame

I have a reason for going out

I am not afraid

of the accidents and incidents

that this ol' world has made

ever since I met you

I'm on my own side

life is a roller coaster

and I'm waiting for a ride

          turn around and the world is spinning

          turn around, what are you thinking of

          turn around and your life is beginning

          turn around and you're in love

dust particles

 

i stare at the dust particles in the sun/ I am a small child playing on the rug/ the world inside is my universe/ and the universe is my drug

no moving forward

there is no going backwards/ there is no moving forward/ there's only staying in the same place/ all the fuckin' time/ nothing ever changes/ nothing moves toward/ the lasting chains of history/ and the pains you leave behind

railroad ties

 

I'm walking on railroad ties/ I'm walking under ladders/ I'm walking under stormy skies/ because nothing matters/ I don't know what I'm doing here/ I haven't got a clue/ but I've got a sneaking feeling/ it has something to do with you

my story (rewrite 1)

nobody wants to hear my story

nobody wants to hear my voice

so I'll just keep it deep inside me

do I have another choice?

I'll just keep on talking

and keep on being ignored

why can't anybody see

I'm not who I was before

you know nothing about my story

you can't understand my words

you don't want to hear me talking

but I still need to be heard

you wish your ears heard silence

when my mouth begins to speak

you cover ears with both your hands

I am not the man you seek

you cannot stop my story

it echoes through my regretful past

the words spill onto countless pages

verbs and nouns, flags at half-mast

I think I'll just keep on talking

until somebody listens to me

all I have is my own story

someday it will set me free

my story

nobody wants to hear my story

nobody wants to her my voice

so I'll just keep it deep inside me

do I have any other choice?

I'll just keep on talking

and keep on being ignored

all I know is I can't stop thinking

I'm not who I was before

you know nothing about my story

you can't understand my words

you don't want to hear me talking

but I still need to be heard

you wish your ears heard silence

when you see my mouth begin to speak

you cover your ears with your hand

I am not what you seek

you cannot stop my story

it echoes through my troubled past

the words spill onto countless pages

verbs and nouns are flags at half-mast

I think I'll just keep on talking

until somebody listens to me

all I have is my own story

someday it will set me free

handful of pills (rewrite 1)

I wake up every morning and take my meds/ a couple for my body/ the rest for my head/ which has voices inside it/ telling me how wrong I am/ I don't know what to do about it/ but I do the best I can

(chorus) oh Lord/ take care of me/ do just what you will/ my whole life comes down to/ a handful of pills

I wake up every morning and brush my teeth/ hoping the today's problems will cease/ but I still have to deal with all my hurt/ I've tried everything but nothing works

(chorus) oh Lord/ take care of me/ I've had my fill/ my whole life comes down to/ a handful of pills

give me a solution for my aching head/ one of these mornings I'm going to wake up dead/ and count the ways I learned for coping/ because, no matter what, I can't give up hoping

(chorus) oh Lord/ take care of me/ I'll take care of the bill/ my whole life comes down to/ a handful of pills

life outside of isolation

so this is what it comes down to

either I stay at home

or go out and see the world

I choose the first option

usually

but today is different

today I will see people

today I will sit in the sunshine

today I will have conversations

today I will eat food that someone else has made

in its own tiny way

today is an adventure

wish me luck

handful of pills

 

I wake up every morning and take my meds/ one for high blood pressure/ the rest for my head/ which has people inside it/ telling me how wrong I am/ I don't know what to do about it/ but I do the best I can

(chorus) oh Lord/ take care of me/ do just what you will/ my whole life comes down to/ a handful of pills

I wake up every morning and brush my teeth/ hoping the today's problems will cease/ but I still deal with all my hurt/ I've tried everything but nothing works

(chorus) oh Lord/ take care of me/ I've had my fill/ my whole life comes down to/ a handful of pills

nothing on my mind

 

I woke up early this morning/ the sun was coming up/ I wasn't worried about anything/ for once, it was enough/ to sit quiet with a cup of coffee. nothing on my mind/ I wasn't afraid of the day ahead/ I had no regrets for the days left behind

I was feeling good/ I was feeling fine/ living my life with nothing on my mind

hallowed ground

 

I walk on this hallowed ground/ looking for you to return/ all my life I've made mistakes/ I never seem to learn/ what this life is asking of me/ I've got too many memories/ I once was blind but now I see/ the obstacles in front of me/ can I make it through?/ the answer is up to you/ there's nothing more I can do

keep on keeping on

I worked my whole life with nothing to show for it

all my close friends, they told me to go for it

but nothing happened,

and I ended up just like before

lying in bed, not wanting to get up

this life that I'm living, it's all just a set up

for things that won't happen

nothing is waiting in store

what do you do

when a dream won't come true

do you accept it and then just move on

the night, it is falling

and my heart keeps calling

for some faraway dawn

I'll just keep walking

and keep on keeping on

paper bags and envelopes

 

I write on paper bags and envelopes/ receipts and advertisements/ anywhere there's a surface/ my paper and pen will find it/ and I will write down words/ that's what I do/ I'm only trying to figure some things out/ and this is the only way I know how to do it/ so I do it/ over and over again

hope for living

 

somebody tell me/ what I am supposed to do/ about all this trouble/ I've gotten into/ I tried my best/ I did what I could/ but it seems my best/ isn't any damn good/ can you help me/ do you know what to say/ my hope for living/ has gone away

responsible

doesn't matter what I do

I always end up trying

I could cry the whole night through

and still there's no denying

I'm responsible

I'll do what needs to be done

if you need anything

call me and I will come

waiting for some good news

I am waiting for some good news

instead of the same old same old

i am staring at the sunshine

hoping it turns to gold

reflecting off the water

burning light into my eyes

is it any wonder?

does it come as a surprise?

I am waiting for some good news

instead all I get are lies

busy signal

everything is going wrong

like it always does

when I ask the reason why

the answer is "just because"

everything is more bad luck

everywhere I turn

isn't there some kind of lesson

that I don't have to learn

I'm so frustrated

I'm situated to go wrong

I could be elated

but I'm still in a bad mood

in this song

there's got to be a way

for me to get along with you

but what can I do?

life's a busy signal

and I can't get through

you are not in college anymore

 

pizza boxes on the floor/ beer bottles from the night before/ netflix, prime, and entertainment galore/ you are not in college anymore

papers on the kitchen table/ snort, sniff, and drink/ if you're able/ happiness you can't ignore/ but you are not in college anymore

time to do something with your life/ boredom cuts like a Swiss army knife/ you had so much potential inside of you/ now what are you supposed to do

your apartment is an awful mess/. nothing to do with happiness/ God only knows what's in store/ you are not in college anymore

those four years/ they just passed you by/ your old friends have said goodbye/ they walked right out the front door/ you are not in college anymore

another day, rise and shine/ today you leave your past behind/ you don't know what you're looking for/ you are not in college anymore/ you are not in college anymore

between the cracks

 

when you were a child/ you fell between the cracks/ out where nothing happens/ they never noticed you/ you were too scared/ to consider fighting back/ so you tried to give up/ what else you could you do?/ but you couldn't put out the flame/ no, you couldn't put out the flame/ you just sat back in silence/ and attempted to take the blame/ but you couldn't put out the flame

sitting in the classroom/ you fell between the cracks/ there was nothing you could give/ to help make them see/ exactly what they wanted/ was everything you lacked/ so you tried to surrender/ no alternative did you see?/ but you couldn't put out the flame/ you couldn't put out the flame/ you just sat by yourself/ nobody knew your name/ but you couldn't put out the flame

you know you belong/ whatever they do/ you know that there's/ a space open for you

suddenly a grownup/ you fall between the cracks/ you're looking at nothing/ happening in the days to come/ you've lived this way for so long/ now there's no turning back/ you're not satisfied/ you're just feeling numb/ but you can't put out the flame/ you can't put out the flame/ no matter how hard you try/ you can't put out the flame

hungry ghosts

 

I wake up every morning/ brush my teeth and then/ see the day stretch out before me/ and go back to bed again

Lord, please tell me/ what does it mean/ all I see are hungry ghosts/ interrupting my dreams

there is no reason/ I don't see a rhyme/ all I see is my hope/ working overtime

Lord, please tell me/ what can I do/ all I see are hungry ghosts/ telling me what to do