stay in bed

the streets are paved in silver

the sky is cold and gray

the clouds are busy raining

and all I do is complain

I want sunshine and roses

to greet me when I wake

when I get up in winter

it's usually a mistake

          all I want is to stay in bed

          blankets to keep me warm   

          and pillows under my head

I need to turn on the heater

my apartment's getting cold

the warmth I felt in summer

has gotten way too old

autumn has forgotten me

and spring is far away

the nights have become longer

and I'm missing most of the day

          all I want is to stay in bed

          with the radio to listen to

          and books I've never read

you should come back and see me

like, seven months from now

I'll be feeling fine then

the sun will show me how

and then I will be happy

and, hopefully, safe and sound

maybe I'll even be ready

when next winter rolls around

          all I want is to stay in bed

          blankets to keep me warm

          and pillows under my head

out the window

I am staring out the window

to a place I once called home

before I grew up and wandered

off to the great unknown

there was so much to look at

so much to be aware

of all the places I've been to

nothing could compare

pretending

I am pretending to be human

as much as I can

I'm pretending that I

grew up to be a man

with all my dreams unbroken

and all my faith intact

with my shoes untied

it's all just a balancing act

I am pretending I am happy

so you won't ever see

the frozen fear of silence

that I feel inside me

can you tell I'm lying?

can you tell I'm sad?

all I know is that in my life

I've never felt so bad

while I walk

while I walk

from here to there

I will not be

unaware

I will watch out

for the signs

and all the pain

I've left behind

and so I wait (rewrite 2)

all my life

I've been learning to stand in line

begging for crumbs

that others have left behind

hoping that life

does not crush me in two

but now I'm done

I don't know what to do

          and so I wait

          for something I know is mine

          and so I wait

          for something I may never find

I have hoped

that the truth will set me free

all I have

are these lies inside of me

that were told to me

so very long ago

now I'm looking around

for something else to know

          and so I wait

          for something I've left behind

          and so I wait

          for something I may never find

someday I

will see what life can be

all the purpose

I hold inside of me

but till that day

all I can do is try

I do not want

life to pass me by

          and so I wait

          for something I know is mine

          and still I wait

          for something I may never find

approaching speed

music plays in the background

but that's all I hear

all your nouns and verbs

will never meet my ears

melodies and harmonies

are all I really need

I will be ready

I'll be approaching speed

and so I wait (rewrite 1)

all my life

I've been learning to stand in line

begging for crumbs

that others have left behind

hoping that life

does not crush me in two

but now I'm done

I don't know what to do

          and so I wait

          for something I know is mine

          and so I wait

          for something I'll never find

I have hoped

that the truth will set me free

all I have

are these lies inside of me

that were told to me

so very long ago

now I'm looking around

for something else to know

          and so I wait

          for something I've left behind

          and so I wait

          for something I'll never find

so I wait

all my life

I've been learning to stand in line

begging for crumbs

that others have left behind

hoping that life

does not crush me in two

but now I'm done

I don't know what to do

          and so I wait

          for something I know is mine

          and so I wait

          for something I'll never find

haunted

lately I've been haunted

by the ghosts inside my soul

they threaten all my hidden thoughts

they crave complete control

they laugh at all my mistakes

they make me shiver inside

and they show no mercy

I have to run and hide

my whole life I've been haunted

by things I've never seen

moments of my childhood

dread inside of dreams

my ghosts, they know what hurts me

and they're not afraid to try

I fear my ghosts will be here

until the day I die

nothing to say

you tell me you have nothing to say

well, I guess you'll say it anyway

you have so many words

inside your mouth

describing all the things I'm not

and they all add up to more than a lot

I am the latest project

you've been thinking about

when you have nothing to say

words still come out all night and day

you're not sure of the meaning

but still it enters your speech

and something about it still ain't right

it echoes on through the lonely night

while everything you need

is just out of reach

your own sweet way

make a cup of coffee

good to start your day

you've shaved and you've showered

time to start your way

out in the big world

where strangers always rule

there's lots of information

that they don't teach in school

          you can do it

          you can make it through the day

          if you do everything

          your own sweet way

there's a ton of mistakes

wrong decisions that burn

but you must have problems

in order to learn

out in the big world

pain is inevitable

that's why your accomplishments

are so damn incredible

          you can do it

          no matter what they may say

          if you fight the demons

          in your own sweet way

nothing is going right

nothing is going right

just like so many times before

if there's a competition for fucking up

I should be keeping score

so many mistakes

so many failures

seem to come my way

I know my chance will never come

what more can I say?

everything is going wrong

all my work has been in vain

I'm outside with no protection

and I believe it's going to rain

so many disappointments

so many broken dreams

promises I'll never know

I have been a failure now

with not many miles to go

early winter haiku

leaves line the sidewalk

bitter wind blows through these old bones

winter is early

sparrow flies

sparrow flies 

and all is good

sparrow owns the neighborhood

sparrow sees you

sitting there

but sparrow doesn't care

          sparrow

          fly away for me

          this earthly living

          won't let me be

sparrow flies

to an old oak tree

sparrow looks down

at the likes of me

what she thinks

is anyone's guess

all I know is 

she couldn't care less

          sparrow

          fly away for me

          teach me how

          to be free

sparrow flies

she speads her wings

sparrow lives

in the song she sings

sparrow rests

when day is through

sparrow carries

your hope for you

today I am afraid

today I am afraid

but I will not be for long

I know the difference between good and evil

the facts behind right and wrong

and I know that I have courage

I just need to find it here

and once I find it I will know

that it is the end of my fear

          I don't look behind 

          as much as I used to

          it takes work to find

          the courage within you

I will not waste my time

I will not waste my time

trying to be someone else

for better or worse

I'm going to be myself

wake up in the morning

glad to be alive

doing more that I need

I won't simply survive

I will not waste my time

doing the devil's work

thinking only of myself

and not the ones who are hurt

by endless trouble

by life's other side

I must learn to help others

this cannot be denied

I will not waste my time

I'll do what needs to be done

when the heart meets the mind

something special has begun

and I won't be a loser

I will do my very best

and then I'll let the spirit

do all the work that's left

painting

like a painting hanging on the wall

I am an ornament for your life

with colors begging for your attention

and meant only for your eyes

am I meant to be in someone's bargain basement?

is Goodwill waiting for me?

it is so hard being in this painting

oh, how I yearn to be free

like a child I am talking to you

but you're the one who's in control

I have my questions and I'm waiting for your answers

I'm hidden deep within my soul

I don't think that I can love you

but it never hurts to ask

except for the rejection I will go through

after I've completed the task

old man trouble

I do the same old thing

day after day

who's gonna do it

when I pass away

someone will have to

fill my shoes

while they sing that old

walkin' blues

          oh, Lord, 

          won't you set me free

          I've got old man trouble inside of me

I've lived a simple life

that's where I've been situated

how did everything get

so damn complicated

I know where I stand

I try my best

so why do I have

such little success

          oh, bad luck

          why can't you leave me be

          I've got old man trouble inside of me

          I've got no money in my pockets

          holes in both my shoes

          I always try to win

          so why then do I lose

I wake up every morning

wanting to stay in bed

take those old pillows

and put them over my head

let me fall back to sleep

away from the lion's den

and then you can wake me up

I'll start over again

          oh, Lord

          save me from this misery

          I've got old man trouble inside of me

I can't wake up

I can't wake up

no matter how I try

my eyes are not ready

to face the morning sky

my feet are cold

and this bed is so warm

I feel as if

I'm about to be born

I can't wake up

the news is so bad

if I stay here in bed

no news will be had

I'll dream peaceful dreams

with nothing at stake

maybe this afternoon

I will wake

the other side

I have been waiting for so long now

I've forgotten what I was waiting for

a sense of silence

an empty house

an aching heart

and an open door

I don't want to be here anymore

I want to see the other side

everything that I hoped for

has passed another way

what made sense in the past

does not work today

I don't care what anyone has to say

I want to see the other side

I was sleeping

I dreamed that I was sleeping

I couldn't hardly breathe

and as much as I was trying

I just couldn't leave

my bed, and it was frightening

I'd soon had enough

and just when I thought I was a goner

I woke up

          why do these things

          always happen to me?

          all I'm looking for

          is a way to be free

run and hide

you were right

I was wrong

now we'll never

get along

you hurt my feelings

I have my pride

now I have to

run and hide

I did my best

but it's not enough

my shirt is torn

my shoes are scruffed 

my basic requests

have been denied

now I have to

run and hide

          run and hide

          back and forth

          our relationship

          has run its course

          run and hide

          forth and back

          my unstable heart

          is under attack

I was wrong

you were right

two ships passing

in the cold black night

I need someone

who's on my side

now I have to

run and hide

walking through the jungle

I went walking through the jungle

of my old neighborhood

looking for history

to show me its face

I should have remembered

I was up to no good

I did what I could

to finish the race

now where am I to go?

there's so many places

of which I don't know

I'll take a look around

before I make my choice

I'll think everything through

before I use my voice

can you help me?

you're fine (rewrite 3)

stop for a second

maybe you'll find

a sense of silence

for once, in your mind

leave all your troubles

and worries behind

you're fine

take a deep breath

open your lungs

life is as good

as when you were young

all of your stars

now are aligned

you're fine

          maybe you're worried

          maybe you're blue

          maybe there's hope

          inside of you

rest for a minute

close your eyes

does a moment of peace

come as a surprise

your mind can be quiet

you know that it's time

you're fine

life can be hard

it ebbs and flows

here's something

you might want to know

you don't need to panic

you'll have peace of mind

you're fine

you don't need to panic

you'll have peace of mind

you're fine

I won't start

I am trying to do two things at once

and it just isn't working

I cannot do anything and listen to you

at the same time

I remember all you've done

and the times that I spent hurting

you've taken every single thing

I describe as peace of mind

              I get older but I don't get smart

              I get the return of a broken heart

              this is ending and I won't start

              with you

you're fine (rewrite 2)

stop for a second

maybe you'll find

a moment of peace

for once, in your mind

leave all your troubles

and worries behind

you're fine

take a deep breath

open your lungs

living your life

is your native tongue

all of your stars

now are aligned

you're fine

          maybe you're worried

          maybe you're blue

          maybe there's hope

          inside of you

rest for a minute

close your eyes

does a moment of peace

come as a surprise

be kind to yourself

you know that it's time

you're fine

life can be hard

it ebbs and flows

there's something

you might want to know

you don't need to panic

you'll have peace of mind

you're fine

you don't need to panic

you'll have peace of mind

you're fine

working past the butterflies

tell me that you love me

show me that you care

and I'll give to you everything

that I'm allowed to share

there are secrets in the echoes

that I always hear

and when I get close

they begin to disappear

please do not ignore me

I'm waiting patiently

working past the butterflies

that are inside of me

if you give me just a minute

I'll give you all of mine

I'm still waiting for that one true love

that I hope to find

you're fine (rewrite 1)

stop for a second

look around and find

a moment of peace

for once, in your mind

leave all your troubles

and worries behind

you're fine

take a deep breath

open your lungs

life is as good

as when you were young

all of your stars

now are aligned

you're fine

          maybe you're worried

          maybe you're blue

          but maybe there's hope

          inside of you

rest for a minute

close your eyes

does a moment of peace

come as a surprise

come out and play

you know that it's time

you're fine

life can be hard

it ebbs and flows

there's something

that you should know

you don't need to panic

you'll have peace of mind

you're fine

you don't need to panic

you'll have peace of mind

you're fine

my own man

don't tell me what to do

I have my own mind

I can make my own decisions

I no longer have the time

to follow your directions

to go the way you planned

I do not belong to you

I am my own man

I don't need to listen

to the words meant for me

I don't need to know you now

you are just a memory

that I no longer look at

that I try to understand

I am not a toy for you

I am my own man