once I was loved

once I was loved
or so I believed
in this foolish heart
and this broken mind
once I was loved
but soon it turned to grief
when I realized
love was not mine
to find

          give me a moment
          to catch my breath
          I'm not used to honesty
          naturally I'm scared to death
          and I can't believe
          what you promised me

once I was loved
once you had me fooled
with soft words and kisses
and a reason to live
once I was loved
but you broke all the rules
I gave till I gave
all that I had to give

          give me a second
          I'm gasping for air
          my instincts tell me to run
          from my conclusions
          though I see nothing there
          I'm looking out
          for number one

once I was loved
or so I believed
in this foolish heart
and this broken mind
once I was loved
but soon it turned to grief
when I realized
love was not mine
to find

black tie and suspenders

I see your new man-child
he thins he's so cool
in black tie and suspenders
looking like and playing the fool
but I can tell the nose work
I notice his toupee
not to mention (so I'll mention)
how his age gets in the way

your former life

I belong to your former life
back when you were one of us
back when you were standing by
back when you were someone I could trust

common sense

I've always been proud
of my common sense
but now I don't know
where my common sense went

hand me the gun

all these memories
you can't remember
made you what
you are today
every misstep
every fuckup
every mistake
along the way
every meeting
every drama
every beating
every trauma
every drunken stepfather
every humiliating move
feed your destiny
give you something to prove
and prove it you tried
to prove everyone wrong
how does it feel to discover
they were right all along

hand me the gun
hand me the gun

let me out

all the escape routes are blocked
like some old mystery movie
there seems to be no way out
only bad news can happen to me
ain't it sad 
when nothing ever changes
don't it make you mad
when life rearranges itself
into something you've never seen before
let me out
I can't take this shit no more

going in

take a deep breath
that's real life before you
it can scare you half to death
but it ain't gonna ignore you
so think good thoughts
but be aware
there's tangled knots
to get caught in out there
but I believe you're born to win
take a deep breath
you're going in

back from Alaska

back from Alaska
never mind whatever happened
celebrate majesty

the right thing

I always do the right thing
and it always turns out wrong

home, home in my head

oh give me a home
filled with Oxycodone
and Klonopin and Prozac, too
no, this ain't no joke
drink some water
don't choke!
on these pills 
that I'm handing to you

          home, home in my head
          where we listen to the Grateful Dead
          man, isn't this great
          like 1968
          maybe I'll smoke my homegrown instead

thoughts

my mind keeps on spinning
out of control
with wild dreams and crazy schemes
it needs to unload
well, I've had it with their nonsense
now I finally see
that I own my thoughts
and they don't own me

keep on walking

there are hills 
too big to climb
there are dreams
that I can't claim as mine
there are folks in need
and signs that read
no trespassing
it's either black and white
or shades of gray
but I keep on walking anyway

I have holes
in both my boots
my evil twin has come
and brought recruits
I've got polka dots
and intrusive thoughts
that keep harassing
but I don't give a damn what they say
I keep on walking anyway

come with me
let's have a talk
about what's in front of us
while we walk
there are budding trees
and harmonies
from cars passing
everything's gonna be okay
keep on walking anyway

Alaska

I can't imagine
what adventures lie in store
up in Alaska

if I was your therapist

if I was your therapist
tell you what I'd do
I'd smile and say I'll take care of this
that Freud shit ain't for you
yeah, if I were your counselor
tell you what I'd say
that life will make you bouncier
if you live a certain way

there are mornings 2

there are mornings
when I lie in bed
and watch dust particles fly
in the sun
and I find
that I sincerely dread
the morning still to come
with its headlines
and deadlines
matter of life and death
let's leave it for tomorrow
and focus on the rest 
of the day
what do you say?

there are mornings
when no amount of caffeine
can get me to face
the day ahead
and I find
no ones knows or cares what I mean
someone's found my dreams
and left them for dead
with my hopes
ways to cope
matters of life and death
let's leave it for tomorrow
and continue with the test
then we'll see
who will be
you and me

someone else's life

I have spent my time on earth
living someone else's life 
the person who I really am
has always been denied
someone else has all the money
someone else has all the love
someone else has somebody
who they think the world of
meI have nobody
to keep me company
the road is dark and muddy
and the night won't let me see

walk with me

if you walk with me
who knows what we'll see
it's all a mystery
to these bifocaled eyes
maybe we'll see more 
than we've ever seen before
somehow we ignored
the land beneath our sky

you and your addictions

go on ahead now
throw away
everything that's brought
you here today
you don't need a humble heart
when your whole world's falling apart

there's an exit
there's the door
go back to who
you were before
all the hard work you accomplished
go back to being obnoxious

         I hereby
         give myself permission
         I can't live
         under these conditions
         so I finally made a decision
         about you and me
         and you and your addictions
         you and me
         and you and your addictions

all the money
that you earned
all the lessons
that you learned
trade them all and your family too
so you can feel the way you used to do

I've got a mind
I've got a voice
I got a brain to figure out
my choice
I got a brand new tank of gas
I've got no questions to be asked

         I hereby
         give myself permission
         I can't live
         under these conditions
         so I finally 
         made a decision
         about you and me
         and you and your addictions
         you and me
         and you and your addictions

hope, time

hope doesn't come in
when you need it. hope takes its
own sweet fuckin' time

all god's creatures

I was driving home from work one day
and stopped at the store along the way
they asked me sir, how will you pay
and I shot him in the heart
there are lots of crazy tools like me
who get angry when you disagree
everybody listen to me
before I blast this place apart

       don't get in my way
       all god's creatures 
       gonna have their say

give me liberty, give me guns
give me the right to be number one
after all is said and done
this is who I am
either my way or the highway
no choice of a backwoods byway
ask me why, I'll tell you, I say
never learned to give a damn

       don't get in my way
       all god's creatures 
       gonna have their say