Monday, May 20, 2024

a little song


transparent tape
some guitar strings
a little bit
of everything
kalimba keys
sunflower seeds
get your favorite person
and give them a squeeze
please, ma'am, won't you give us a chance
a little song
a little dance


Sunday, May 19, 2024

you used to fall in love


you used to drive on mountains
you used to fly above
so many blessings you can't count them
you used to fall in love
you always did your finest
passion always first in line
who are you now, my highness
you're running out of time

I am afraid of past mistakes
they haunt me night and day
if you give me a handshake
I will quietly go away
my words aren't working
they don't come out of me
all I have is this hurting
that no one can see


Saturday, May 18, 2024

waiting on you


I'm waiting on you
to bring me the bag
that holds my future in it
I check the time
the scene of the crime
the second hand moves a minute
I don't know who I am
tomorrow moves slow
and yesterday's lone gone
all I need
is a place in need
for which I can hold on

        I'm waiting 
        I'm waiting
        I'm waiting on you

I'm trusting that you
can keep all my secrets
that I can never tell
I've given up on ways
to get through the day
just relying on myself
you are my hope
that the world will run smoothly
lately it's been rough
my fingers are aching
for what's there for the taking
I believe I've had enough

          I'm waiting
          I'm waiting 
          I'm waiting on you

I'm using my hearing
to lift up my spirits
I need your knock on the door
right to the letter
I will feel better
when you bring me more
I'm trying not to be desperate
I know there's some meaning
deep within this space
I don't need advice
but I'll pay the price
as soon as I see your face
'
          I'm waiting
          I'm waiting
          I'm waiting on you


Friday, May 17, 2024

bad habits


bad habits continue
to poison my mind
things are returning
I thought I'd left behind
no questions or answers
no reason or rhyme
no one around to save you
bad habits take time
that could be better spent
earning the money
to pay this month's rent
the way things are going
you'll be living in a tent
nobody to behave to

          I can change, I know I can
          I can change, I know I can

bad habits have got me
afraid of myself
always checking to see
if I'm somebody else
absence of glory
no self-worth or wealth
did I waste all of my time here?
I could if I would
I should set my own self free
claim my stake
in history
working for some
destiny
it's been a long hard climb up here

          I can change, I know I can
          I can change, I know I can


Thursday, May 16, 2024

first day outdoors


first day outdoors
I've been a long time gone
nobody but me
to rely upon
I feel no rain
I'm immune to heat
I don't touch carpet
with my feet
a feeling to be stealing one more
first day outdoors
the midday sun
making you and the ones you knew
forever young
I'd sell my soul 
to the company store
just to feel
the first day outdoors

first day outdoors
be still and catch the wind
time for breathing out
time for breathing in
feet planted firmly
on solid ground
open your eyes
look around
a present you cannot ignore
first day outdoors


Tuesday, May 14, 2024

I don't need your pity


give me something I can use
no more of your abuse

when times were good
they were as good
as times could be
a strong walk in the neighborhood
knock on wood
the way it should be
I wanted good times
a lot more than it was allowed
I don't need your pity
I don't need your pity
I don't need your pity now


Monday, May 13, 2024

new way home


I was looking for a new way home
something previously unknown
called me on the telephone
saying "Hurry! Make it quick!"
I said politely and I turned around
turn that fuckin' jukebox down
Amazing Grace how sweet the sound
I would not throw a brick


Thursday, May 9, 2024

heartless


why do you have to be so heartless?
you used to be as free as the wind
now you can't conceive of justice
in this hopeless mess you're in
when did you stop believing?
why do you let life hold you down?
all of your friends take turns in leaving
they just can't take you hanging around

all of your hope has been taken
by circumstances beyond your control
you think it's over but you're mistaken
you still have goodness in your soul
take a moment to search your conscience
you'd be surprised by what's inside
I know you fear the consequences
you can look around but you cannot hide

          where are you going?
          no one can tell you
          you turn the corner 
          at the strangest times
          now you know that
          no one can help you
          you'll have to pay 
          for committing the crime

why do you have to be so heartless?
I know you're afraid to cry out loud
it's so damn hard to be apart, yes,
always somewhere you're not allowed
only you can stop the madness
only you can rearrange
the missing pieces that turn to sadness
you've still got time to change
you've still got time to change

why do you have to be so heartless?
why do you have to be so heartless?

 

Wednesday, May 8, 2024

I am not hopeless


I'm not as helpless 
as you think I am
I will find my way 
out of this jam
right now things look hopeless
but your eyes deceive you
the only way to cope is
in what you say and do

I am not hopeless
I've known it all along
you may think I'm weak
but I know I am strong
I'll wake up tomorrow
and find a brand new day
trouble may cause sorrow
but I will find a way

          problems may knock 
          hard on my front door
          but they won't possess me 
          like they did before

I am not helpless
I still have my dignity
I have found the courage
hiding deep inside of me
I don't need your worrying
and I don't want your fear
one way or another
I will make it out of here
my persistence is something
I cannot ignore
I am not helpless
anymore 


Tuesday, May 7, 2024

I still have my mind


you have your facts and figures
about my biology
you've got your mind made up
when it's concerning me
can I meet your approval?
can I pass all your tests?
can I believe your opinions
when you say you know what's best?

          there is more to me
          than you'll ever see
          you have not witnessed
          my history
          you're looking for
          what you will never find
          I may be an old man
          but I still have my mind

I can still remember
the places of my past
I can still do long division
my knowledge seems to last
I may need help in some things
but listen, so do you
I've still got some miles to go
before my journey's through

          there is more to me
          than you'll ever see
          you have not witnessed
          my history
          you're looking for
          what you will never find
          I may be an old man
          but I still have my mind

so take your facts and figures
your plans and studies too
take your unanswered questions
and all the stuff you do
you think you know what's right for me
but you don't have a grasp
take all your false projections
and shove them up your ass

          there is more to me
          than you'll ever see
          you have not witnessed
          my history
          you're looking for
          what you will never find
          I may be an old man
          but I still have my mind
          I may be an old man
          but I still have my mind
   

Monday, May 6, 2024

worried


I am worried
that's what I do
it doesn't matter
if it isn't true
all of the day
and all of the night
I worry about
everything in sight

come the morning
I wake and find
that worrying has
taken over my mind
I'm tense and nervous
and I'm afraid
that my worrying has
to be obeyed

          take your problems
          make them bigger
          out of proportion
          pull the trigger
          take your problems
          make them worse
          is it a blessing
          or a curse?

I worry about
everything I see
with all the strength
inside of me
I know that it does
no damn good
but I still worry
like I think I should

          take your problems
          make them large
          let them know
          they're in charge
          take your problems
          make them devour
          all your hope
          they've got the power

I am worried
I'm in bad shape
it holds me hostage
I can't escape
my worrying knows
how to attack
but one day I
will fight back


Sunday, May 5, 2024

I miss being young


I miss being young
my life spread out before me
like a four-lane Texas highway
that never ends
laughter on my tongue
trouble would ignore me
my parents still alive
good times with all my friends
appreciating stillness
never fearing illness
looking toward the future
with every youthful breath
now I am an old man
doing everything I can
to try not to think about
my upcoming death

I miss being young
hitchhiking by the roadside
flirting with the girls
being one of the boys
climbing every rung
joy was never denied
taking every opportunity
to make a joyful noise
appreciating friendship
not having to defend it
experiencing freedom
with a song inside my heart
now I am an old man
fighting to understand
the meaning of my life
and why I must depart

          no need for excuses
          no reason and no rhyme
          now I just feel useless
          and I need some more time

I miss being young
searching for a companion
hunting for adventure
I never was afraid
always having fun
I never felt abandoned
I never had regrets
for the decisions I have made 
summers in the sunshine
I never feared the bad times
I never thought there'd come a day
when my songs would all be sung
now I am an old man
and I do not give a damn
somehow I still feel hopeful
like my life has just begun
I still want tomorrow
I miss being young


Friday, May 3, 2024

driving across Texas


life takes a long time
when you're driving across Texas
with the windows wide open
and the radio on
destination's clear
and the family expects us
we'll be home by morning
sometime after dawn

you try your damn best
when you're driving across Texas
beer in paper bags
you wish you had AC
eyes on the highway
I hope no one forgets us
there will be better times
for you and for me

          three more hours to Austin
          the engine is humming
          a tune we've always known
          you can tell all the neighbors
          that we are coming
          home

look how the summer stars
shine on the windshield
there's no chance of rain
on this hot July night
unending white lines
tumbleweeds in the field
we're both bone dead tired
but we're feeling all right

          three more hours to Austin
          the engine is humming
          a tune we've always known
          you can tell all the neighbors
          that we are coming
          home 

life takes a long time
when you're driving across Texas
one more Dr. Pepper
one more cigarette
we'll drive forever
if common sense lets us
vanish into the night
we'll get there yet   
          

Thursday, May 2, 2024

sweet yesterdays


all my sweet yesterdays
I can see them in my mind
all the people in my past
all the ones I've left behind
they return now and I smile
hoping they will stay a while
keeping me from being alone
coming back to take me home

lost inside of memory
I remember you back then
singing songs down at the beach
you were more than just a friend
when I heard you went away
there was nothing I could say
I could not pretend to know
tell me why you had to go

          you were falling
          and I could not see a thing
          you were falling
          and I could not see a thing

the mistakes that I have made
they come back to haunt me now
they overtake my thoughts
and I really don't know how
this is not the way it seems
they never visit in my dreams
except now they come into view
and all I really know is you

          you were falling
          and I could not see a thing
          you were falling
          and I could not see a thing

all my sweet yesterdays
I will never get my fill
I still have them in my mind
and I know I always will
and I know I always will

          

Wednesday, May 1, 2024

hiding place


the night is frozen
it's as still as an unknown breeze
it's what has been chosen
it'll bring you to your knees
you say "where am I?"
but you know just where you are
in the blink of an eye
in the falling of a star

          you are here
          exactly where you've been
          someday you will return
          to the hiding place again

everything is broken
nothing is the same
all these words unspoken
except the sound of your own name
you say "who am I?"
but the answer doesn't come
all you can do is try
the trial has begun

          you are here
          exactly where you've been
          someday you will return
          to the hiding place again