2018

this year was better
than the year before
and the year before that
and the year before that...
and I am grateful
for every day
that I am further away
from those times

when did I disappear (new opening verse)

I've forgotten how to feel
God knows I've tried
but I always come up empty
when I look inside
I could talk to myself
but there's no one to hear
when did I disappear

do the math

put two and two together
chances are it equals four
but that's depending whether
it's something less or something more
I'm gonna rise to the occasion
I'm the answer to your equation
no matter what the situation
I'll always stand by you

          do the math
          we belong together
          like half-and-half
          there's nothing better
          I'm saying this for my own good
          for my own behalf
          do the math
          do the math
          do the math

put one and one together
and the sum you get is us
baby, I'm the inventor
of a love that you can truly trust
I'm gonna show you what I'm made of
no one to be afraid of
no matter what you say, love
I'll always stand by you

          do the math
          we're made for each other
          on a winding path
          that's only walked by lovers
          I'm saying this for our own good
          with a chuckle and a laugh
          do the math
          do the math
          do the math

yesterday's child (rewrite five)

last night I dreamed 
I was yesterday's child
in a field of green
on the outskirts of wild
I'd committed no sin
I wasn't on trial
and the rest of my life 
was ahead

all of my worries
flew into the sky
and exploded into
the fourth of July
fireworks hovering
like dragonflies
and the rest of my life 
was ahead

          if I could start over
          I'd start over again
          wind at my shoulder
          time as my best friend

I was a blank slate
where nothing was drawn
except for the colors
that welcomed the dawn
lying on my back
with my dog on the lawn
and the rest of my life
was ahead

          if I could start over
          I'd start over again
          wind at my shoulder
          time as my best friend

last night I dreamed 
I was yesterday's child
now I'm far beyond that
by many a mile
but last night in my sleep
I knew how to run wild
and the rest of my life 
was ahead
the rest of my life
was ahead

white paper bag

a white paper bag
should always have
a donut inside
to undo
whatever happened
to make you run and hide
one bite and it's all fine
except for your waistline
and that new year's resolution
that you've casually tossed behind
but it's all right
it's okay
tomorrow's gonna be another day

day after Christmas

there is so much to do
cleaning up 
and putting stuff away
all the lights and ornaments
have served 
their Christmas Day
their jobs they did
and did them well
a credit to their career
thanks for all your colors
and we'll see you next year

on the phone

I am on the phone
I want to get off the line
please knock on the door

sugar

sugar hits those taste buds
like fireworks on July 4
too bad it's so bad

new year's resolution

I will not give in
to imaginary forces
that I allow
to seduce me

envelopes

I lick envelopes
filled with holiday spirit
this year's Christmas card

godless Christian

go away
you're not wanted here
with your lies
with your family
with your greed
using religion as a shield
and a crutch
godless Christian
hollow be thy name

loose cannon

you're a loose cannon,
ain't you, pal
with your knocked up
washed out penthouse gal
doing the town
like you know how to do
look at you

mister loose cannon
gee, I'm so scared
your temper, boy,
has caught me unaware
yeah, right
I ain't afraid of you
tell you what I'll do

use your manners, boy,
and do what I say
show me respect
and I'll put the gun away
and none of this happened
and you'll be free
and if not
your black ass belongs to me
I'll put you under arrest
and that's where you'll be
your black ass
belongs to me

Spanish

through my skin is brown
and my soul is sturdy
I still don't know Spanish
oh sure, there's the stuff
I learned in school
and sometimes I can manage

head in my hands

I've got my head in my hands
discouraged again
thinking I'm a failure
and believing in the end
I don't have any hope
and nobody understands
I've got my head in my hands

I put my nose to the grindstone
and nothing's happened yet
working my fool life away
is making me upset
there's nothing at all
that'll give into my demands
I've got my head in my hands

old white men in suits and ties

old white men
in suits and ties
do not necessarily
have open eyes
to see what's right
in front of them
again and again
and again
they sit in
Washington D,C,
a world apart
from you and me
and decide what future
we should live 
I know that I 
should forgive
but
there they sit
and here I stand
a stranger in
the motherland

kitchen sink

turn on the faucet
out comes the water
hot or cold
a lot or a little
you know it's gonna
do what it oughta
no second thoughts
no stuck in the middle

          if you think about it
          try to live without it
          it's taken for granted
          written in invisible ink
          it's anybody's guess
          just how much we're blessed
          with this clean water
          running in the kitchen sink

holiday lights

holiday lights burn
kilos of electricity
for a worthy cause

gifts

tree from a thrift store
looking at the neighbors' lights
Christmastime at home

I miss everybody (another verse)

so many rivers 
and bridges to cross
I miss everybody
old Father Time
telling me who's boss
I miss everybody
to everyone who needed me
to those who were kind
those held up in search
of the scene of the crime
those who were there
at exactly the right time
I miss everybody

I miss everybody (another new verse)

history is armed
with the hands of time
I miss everybody
the future's ahead
but I'm falling behind
I miss everybody
seems all my friends
have moved far beyond
one day you're here
next day you're gone 
one thing's for sure
you keep moving on
I miss everybody

I miss everybody (new last verse)

time moves quick
that's a natural fact
I miss everybody
you get nowhere
if you keep looking back
I miss everybody
years and distance
may keep us far apart
but I know they're there
inside my heart
so let's raise a pint
to whoever they are
I miss everybody
I miss everybody

I miss everybody (rewrite five)

there are too many people
I used to know
I miss everybody
I have no idea
of wherever they go
I miss everybody
once we threw parties
on neighbors' front lawns
now on Friday evenings
I'm sitting alone
wondering where
all my buddies have gone
I miss everybody

I once had people
knocking on my front door
I miss everybody
wherever they are
I don't see them anymore
I miss everybody
now I remember
what I used to forget
a trash can of wishes
overflowing with regret
trading real life
for that old TV set
I miss everybody

I need me a drink
a shot of malt liquor
I miss everybody
every day is racing
quicker and quicker
I miss everybody
I know it's natural
for relationships to end
but I'm finding I'm thinking
about every one of them 
and now there's nothing
where friendship had been
I miss everybody
I miss everybody

when I go crazy

when I go crazy
it is not in a good way
it's major damage

entering my skull
opening yesterday's scars
examining my life

none this is fun
all in all, this is not fair
but it's what I go through

however
it is not
who I am

I miss everybody (rewrite four)

there are too many people
I used to know
I miss everybody
I have no idea
of wherever they go
I miss everybody
once we threw parties
on neighbors' front lawns
now on Friday evenings
I'm sitting alone
wondering where
all my buddies have gone
I miss everybody

I once had people
knocking on my front door
I miss everybody
wherever they are
I don't see them anymore
I miss everybody
now I remember
what I used to forget
a trash can of wishes
overflowing with regret
trading real life
for that old TV set
I miss everybody

the days are short
in mid-December
I miss everybody
it's colder than
I can remember
I miss everybody
all those good times I had
are now at an end
I'm finding I'm thinking
about them again
now there's loneliness
where friendship had been
I miss everybody
I miss everybody

I miss everybody (rewrite three)

there are too many people
I used to know
I miss everybody
I have no idea
of wherever they go
I miss everybody
once we threw parties
on neighbors' front lawns
now on Friday nights
I'm sitting alone
I guess it don't matter
you keep moving on
but I miss everybody

there are so many things
I still haven't done
I miss everybody
there's no end to new things
under the sun
but I miss everybody
now I remember
what I used to forget
empty of wishes
and filled with regret
in a life spent in front
of a disheveled TV set
I miss everybody

the days are short
in mid-December
I miss everybody
it's so damn cold
since I can remember
I miss everybody
now as each day
draws to an end
I'm finding I'm thinking
about each one of them
now there's loneliness
where friendship had been
I miss everybody
I miss everybody

yesterday's child (rewrite four)

last night I dreamed 
I was yesterday's child
in a field of green
on the outskirts of wild
I'd committed no sin
I wasn't on trial
and the rest of my life 
was ahead

all of my worries
flew into the sky
and exploded into
the fourth of July
with fireworks hovering
like dragonflies
and the rest of my life 
was ahead

          if I could start over
          I'd start over again
          wind at my shoulder
          time as my best friend

I was a blank slate
where nothing was drawn
except for the colors
that welcomed the dawn
lying on my back
with my dog on the lawn
and the rest of my life
was ahead

          if I could start over
          I'd start over again
          wind at my shoulder
          time as my best friend

last night I dreamed 
I was yesterday's child
now I'm far beyond that
by many a mile
but last night in my dreams
I knew to run wild
and the rest of my life 
was ahead
the rest of my life
was ahead

I miss everybody (rewrite two)

there are too many people
I used to know
I miss everybody
I have no idea
of wherever they go
I miss everybody
once we threw parties
on neighbors' front lawns
now I find myself wondering
where they have gone
I guess it don't matter
we just keep moving on
but I miss everybody

there are so many things
I still haven't done
I never was anybody
there is no end to things
under the sun
my pure blood is muddy
now I remember
what I used to forget
empty of wishes
and filled with regret
in a life spent in front
of my TV set
I miss everybody

the days are short
in mid-December
I miss everybody
it's colder than 
I can remember
I miss everybody
there's loneliness
where friendship had been
now as each day
draws to an end
I'm finding I'm thinking
about each one of them
now there's loneliness
where friendship had been
I miss everybody
I miss everybody

I miss everybody (rewrite one)

there are too many people
whom I used to know
I miss everybody
I have no idea
of wherever they go
I miss everybody
once we threw parties
on neighbors' front lawns
now I find myself wondering
where they have gone
I guess it don't matter
we just keep moving on
but I miss everybody

there are so many things
I still haven't done
I never was anybody
there is no end to things
that I never will know
my pure blood is muddy
now I remember
what I used to forget
empty of wishes
and filled with regret
in a life spent in front
of my TV set
I miss everybody

yesterday's child (rewrite three)

last night I dreamed 
I was yesterday's child
in a field of green
on the outskirts of wild
I'd committed no sin
I wasn't on trial
and the rest of my life 
was ahead

all of my worries
flew into the sky
and exploded into
the fourth of July
with fireworks hovering
like dragonflies
and the rest of my life 
was ahead

          if I could start over
          I'd start over again
          wind at my shoulder
          time as my best friend

I was a blank slate
where nothing was drawn
except for the colors
that welcomed the dawn
lying on my back
with my dog on the lawn
and the rest of my life
was ahead

          if I could start over
          I'd start over again
          wind at my shoulder
          time as my best friend

last night I dreamed 
I was yesterday's child
in a field of green
on the outskirts of wild
I'd committed no sin
I wasn't on trial
and the rest of my life 
was ahead
the rest of my life
was ahead

I miss everybody

there are too many people
whom I used to know
I miss everybody
I have no idea
of wherever they go
I miss everybody
once we threw parties
on neighbors' front lawns
now I find myself wondering
where they have gone
I guess it don't matter
we just keep moving on
but I miss everybody

yesterday's child (rewrite two)

last night I dreamed 
I was yesterday's child
in a field of green
on the outskirts of wild
I'd committed no sin
I wasn't on trial
and the rest of my life 
was ahead

all of my worries
flew into the sky
and exploded into
the fourth of July
with fireworks hovering
like dragonflies
and the rest of my life 
was ahead

          if I could start over
          I'd start over again
          with a head full of questions
          with time as my best friend

I was a blank slate
where nothing was drawn
except for the colors
that welcomed the dawn
lying on my back
with my dog on the lawn
and the rest of my life
was ahead

          if I could start over
          I'd start over again
          with a head full of questions
          with time as my best friend

last night I dreamed 
I was yesterday's child
in a field of green
on the outskirts of wild
I'd committed no sin
I wasn't on trial
and the rest of my life 
was ahead
the rest of my life
was ahead

bitter/silent

there is nothing worth saying
that is not bitter
I will remain silent

empty threat

when there's nothing to say
you only waste your time
looking for reasons
to fall into rhymes
so now I'm returning
to the scene of the crime
I am an empty threat
to myself

I speak over and over
jaws never stay shut
I try to act
with forgiveness, but
no matter what happens
it isn't enough
I am an empty threat
to myself

sing me an anthem
of society's pride
I'll nod in rhythm
while I'm standing outside
with words unspoken
my verdict denied
I am an empty threat
to myself
I am an empty threat

yesterday's child (rewrite one)

last night I dreamed 
I was yesterday's child
in a field of green
on the outskirts of wild
I'd committed no sin
I wasn't on trial
and the rest of my life 
was ahead

all of my worries
flew into the sky
and exploded into
the fourth of July
with fireworks hovering
like dragonflies
and the rest of my life 
was ahead

          if I could start over
          I'd start over again
          with a head full of questions
          with time as my best friend

I've always wondered
what happens if
your dreams are outnumbered
by whoever you're with
I stood unencumbered
and chose not to resist
and the rest of my life
was ahead

one night I dreamed 
I was yesterday's child
in a field of green
on the outskirts of wild
I'd committed no sin
I wasn't on trial
and the rest of my life 
was ahead
the rest of my life
was ahead

everybody we meet

it's when what you do
isn't good enough
it's when you're broken
before you get tough
it's a long hard road
it's a dead end street
it's you and me
and everybody we meet

wish

if I had a wish
I'd wish I wasn't alone
but wishes aren't real

crying uncle (rewrite three)

I haven't fucked up today
this may be a world record
for a man whose life is colored by 
a history that's checkered
by mistakes and miscalculations
an endless need to change the station
watch your step, man, goodness gracious
this ain't no push or shove

no suicidal thoughts today
that's one day in a row, now
but there's one sad thought
I still got
the rest of the day to go, now
give me morphine
give me liquor
anything to numb me quicker
what makes you well
just makes you sicker
it's no substitute for love
let me up, I've had enough
I'm crying uncle
I'm crying uncle

I haven't judged myself today
but I'm setting up the trial
filled with fury
I'm judge and jury
and living in denial
every time I give up hoping
I still keep my eyes wide open
it's my peculiar way of coping
I'm packing up my stuff
let me up, I've had enough
I'm crying uncle
I'm crying uncle

yesterday

yesterday
was a bad, bad day
if I'd have known
it was here to stay
I would have gone
the other way

yesterday
holy cow!
it was something
that was not allowed
but this I'll say
yesterday
is gone now

a turkey's life

(to the tune of "9 to 5" by Dolly Parton}

it's a turkey's life
and no way to spend Thanksgiving
if your skin is dry
well, then there's no forgiving
first they stuff you up
with bread to drive you crazy
but worst of all
is when they smother you with gravy

it's a turkey's life
I should have been a pigeon
when it's time to die
is when I get religion
they just cut you up
and eat until they wobble
and all you hear from them is
google gobble

a turkey's life...

yesterday's child

one night I dreamed 
I was yesterday's child
in a field of green
on the outskirts of wild
I'd committed no sin
I wasn't on trial
and the rest of my life 
was ahead

all of my worries
flew into the sky
and exploded into
the fourth of July
with fireworks floating
like dragonflies
and the rest of my life 
was ahead

          if I could start over
          I'd start over again
          with a head full of questions
          with time as my friend

I've always wondered
what happens if
your hope is outnumbered
by whatever you're with
I stood unencumbered
and chose not to resist
and the rest of my life
was ahead

one night I dreamed 
I was yesterday's child
in a field of green
on the outskirts of wild
I'd committed no sin
I wasn't on trial
and the rest of my life 
was ahead
the rest of my life
was ahead