suicide note #3

I'm looking at you
you decided I wasn't good enough for you
I guess I was asking for too much
this wanting friends
this not wanting to be alone all the time
this wanting financial security
this being noticed for the craft and talent
the joke was on me all along

if I had the courage
I would shoot myself
I would take life-ending drugs
I would set myself on fire
but not before I tell everyone
how you contributed to my death
I'm looking at you
you think you're guilt free
but it's your fault

fuck you
and the loaded gun
you've handed to me
with the engraved invitation