in my dream

in my dream
I was young again
lying in the soft, wavy grass
in the field that had no end
my dog ran to me
ready to lick my face
excited
glad that I was here.

I could die that way,
I suppose,
and it would be merciful
and sweet
like a whisper of wind
that refuses to stop

creepy little eyes

I never liked the city much
it's loud and filthy
in more ways than one
it's got scary people 
with creepy little eyes
and none of them ain't much fun
they look at you sideways
suspicious and snide
a predator waiting to strike
following your footsteps
and planning their plans
to do something you won't like

trouble's following you

I've lost my sense of humor
and I can't find it
I've looked everywhere I know
I've looked inside bottles
and pipes and powders
anywhere money can blow

it's probably somewhere 
with my common sense
hanging out
enjoying the show
of watching me scramble
like a headless turkey
to a future remaining unknown

          oh oh oh
          I got nowhere to go
          oh oh oh
          there ain't nothing I know
          oh oh oh
          you better look out below
          trouble's following you
          trouble's following you

making excuses

lately I spend all my time
making excuses for you
I tell myself reasons
that I know aren't true
maybe you got lost in traffic
maybe your phone doesn't work
maybe your computer is broken
maybe you just think I'm a jerk

it doesn't really matter
whatever you do
I've become an expert
at making excuses for you
I'll forgive your rejections
I'll accept all your lies
I'll conjure up stores
with whatever logic applies

           the truth's right in front of me
           it's true you plainly see
           you're too good for me 
           and my problem is
           I completely agree

but still I waste my time
making excuses for you
seems I don't have the sense
to know when something's through
I hope someday I wake up
with a real point of view
but until that day comes my way
I'll be making excuses for you

glue (another round)

today you are glue
and your only job
is to keep yourself together
take care what you do
and you'll make it through
any kind of stormy weather
          
          today your emotions
          are not under full control
          pretend you're at the ocean
          don't it feel wonderful

today you are glue
it might be best 
to find yourself a shelter
I'm watching you
as far as I'm concerned
your first name is Elmer

          today those neurons
          are firing like the fourth of July
          I know it's no fun
          so watch Netflix and stay inside

today you are glue
you'll try to mend
the broken pieces
just play it cool
to do what you must do
takes Mohammed Buddha Jesus

          .hide under covers
           if that's what you have to do
           there is no other way today
           so take good care of you
           do what you need to do
           you know it's true
           today you are glue

meltdown

had a meltdown this morning

lasted all day long

had a meltdown this morning

lasted all day long

my brain and my emotions

just can't get along

I take my medicine

daily as prescribed

keep track of my nutrition

beer is not imbibed 

but I still had a meltdown

and it damn near took my life

          people on the street

          look as normal as can be

          in other words they look

          a whole lot different than me

          one minute I'm so happy

          yeah, near satisied

          twenty minutes later

          I'm on the suicide hotline

doctor, doctor

tell me what I can take

I'm always asleep and 

I got no reason to wake

you're gonna have a meltdown

your birth was a pitiful mistake

had a meltdown this morning

lasted all day long

had a meltdown this morning

lasted all day long

my brain and my emotions

just can't get along

someone else's shoes

I don't usually drink
this hour of the morning
but today I'll make an exception
every time I think
it's nothing but a warning
that each step is a misdirection
every mistake I could made
I have made it
union dues to be blue
it's true I have paid it
never mind who is to blame
the outcome is always the same
bad luck is calling my name
and it ain't good news
I want to walk in someone else's shoes