as your memory fades (rewrite 2)

you are disappearing

from my heart and mind

I tried to lose you long ago

but it took a little time

I never fit into

the plans you had made

you're leaving my mind

as your memory fades

in my imagination

I no longer picture you

all the time you were someone

I couldn't hold on to

I always knew I'd be the man

who would be betrayed

but it doesn't matter now

as your memory fades

          my mind's completely silent

          when I think about you now

          I'd remember all the good times

          but I don't know how

some mornings I wake up

by the alarm clock's call

I get up and start my day and

don't think of you at all

I'm smarter and I'm stronger

no longer afraid

of being alone 

as your memory fades

you're growing fainter

as your memory fades

as your memory fades (rewrite 1)

you are disappearing

from my heart and mind

I tried to lose you long ago

but it took a little time

I never fit into

the plans you had made

you're leaving my mind

as your memory fades

in my imagination

I no longer picture you

all the time I was someone

you wouldn't hold on to

I always knew I'd be the one

who would be betrayed

but it doesn't matter now

as your memory fades

          my mind's completely silent

          when I think about you now

          I'd remember all the good times

          but I don't know how

some mornings I wake up

I hear the alarm clock's call

I start my day and

I don't think of you at all

I'm smarter and I'm stronger

no longer afraid

of being alone 

as your memory fades

you're growing fainter

as your memory fades

as your memory fades

you are disappearing

from my heart and mind

I tried to lose you long ago

but it took a little time

I never fit into

the plans you had made

I see you going

as your memory fades

I no longer picture you

in my imagination

all the time I was someone

of your own creation

I never thought I'd be the one

who would be betrayed

it doesn't matter now

as your memory fades

          my mind's completely silent

          when I think about you now

          I'd remember the good times

          but I don't know how

some mornings I wake up

I hear the alarm clock's call

I start my day and

I don't think of you at all

I'm smarter and I'm stronger

no longer afraid

of being alone 

as your memory fades

you're growing fainter

as your memory fades

Becky reads about celebrities

Becky reads about celebrities

on Saturday afternoons

stuck inside a dirty house

waiting in her bedroom

silver screens in magazines

works on her imagination

dreams and schemes about movie queens

is her situation

Becky doesn't like her life

high school is such a bore

mathematics

English class

all too easy to ignore

so she yearns to be in fantasy

she longs to be famous and rich

real life doesn't turn out right

she doesn't know which is which

you belong

I can see you

hiding in the corner

thinking that maybe

you shouldn't be here

like some refugee

like some sort of foreigner

looking for some way

to silently disappear

well, you can step on out

don't let it alarm you

it'll be okay

ain't nothing going to harm you

back and forth

to and fro

up and down

right or wrong

you belong

you belong

you've been waiting

in these dark days

for somebody to

shine a light

but you won't find them

with your eyes closed

completely shut

in the dark of night

well, you can search like that

but you won't find it

look around yourself

don't never-mind it

touch and go

light or dark

it's all yours

for a song

you belong

you belong

I would speak to you

I would speak to you

if I could figure out the words

they all come out dry and dusty

not nice and happy

the way that you prefer

but that's the way it must be

I don't like confrontation

it's an investigation

into hearts and minds

and hopes and dreams

I am just a common man

trying to do the best he can

but nothing ever is

the way it seems

I would speak to you

if I knew just what to say

but all my words crumble in your sight

I wish that they were loving

but I have to go away

somewhere in the stark, black night

I'm sorry for my actions

I know that satisfaction

will never happen

between you and me

so I will go away now

there's nothing I can say now

that can bring us back

to where we used to be

          if I could speak to you

          the way I used to do

          I would never waste my time

          with your promise

          of carefree days to come

          our path had just begun

          except you had no intention

          of being honest

I would speak to you

if I knew what words to use

but all my stories are spoken for

all these memories

add up to an excuse

to make my way to an open door

I don't what I can say

I'll silently go away

to a place where I can start my life anew

you're now a memory

that I'm hiding inside me

now I'm figuring out what I can do

I would speak to you

I would speak to you

thanksgiving haiku

thanksgiving morning

it's time for some eating

be grateful today

the words you say to me

the words you say to me

go in one ear and out the other

I know you're talking

I can see

your big mouth moving, brother

two lips in motion, a working jaw

all your words are bla, bla, bla

the words you say to me

oughta be outlawed

everything you're telling me

I have heard it all before

let me save you a little time

I don't want to hear no more

all self-pity

all self-praise

all you do is talk these days

the words you say to me

they're not here to stay

          talk about your future

          talk about your past

          I don't keep your words inside my head

          that way they don't last

the words you say to me

are words that hold no power

up and down

inside out

taking up eternal hours

be silent

you can do it

it's easy if you try

the words you say to me

they say hello, and then goodbye

everything is wrong

everything is wrong today

the sun refused to shine

maybe bad news is on its way

but I don't mean to whine

it's just that nothing ain't no good

nothing is the way it should

everything is turning wrong

like it has been all along

move forward (rewrite 1)

I drink a cup of coffee 

and I begin my day

with no expectations

life goes on either way

I set upon this journey

not knowing what I'll find

I'm trying to move forward

but life keeps me behind

what can I tell you, darling,

life doesn't go as planned

one minute you're okay

then you don't understand

me, I try my best

but it's just not good enough

I'm trying to move forward

but the road ahead is rough

but still I keep on trying

that's all I know to do

looking for a hidden path

that I will know as true

some ways lead us to sorrow

while some are a surprise

I'm trying to move forward

but I can't believe my eyes

give me half a reason

to continue on this search

paradise or misery

I can't tell which is worse

there's tons of turns and tunnels

and hundreds of dead ends

I'm trying to move forward

and I'm pointed straight ahead

forward

I drank a cup of coffee 

and I started on my day

with no expectations

life can go on either way

I set upon this journey

not knowing what I'll find

I try to move forward

but my mind keeps me behind

what I can tell you, darling,

is that life doesn't go as planned

one minute you're okay

the next, you don't understand

me, I try my best

but it's just not good enough

I try to move forward

but the road ahead is rough

leaving today behind

today I packed up cardboard boxes

it's time to move again

off to another city

where I have no job, no friends

just an inkling of adventure

that I'm hoping I can find

I'm leaving here to morrow

I'm leaving today behind

misbehaved

I should have misbehaved more

when I was a child

good kids don't get attention

which is why I was always alone

I should have pretended childhood

was a chance to run wild

instead of knowing my place

was to be afraid at home

all the years I can't get back

not that I want to return

to a time unwanted

where time will not move

all my grown-up wishes

are never to be answered

I am now an old man

and I still don't know what to do

to help me disappear

it was once in sight

I got lost along the way

it's happening right now 

but I'm drunk on yesterdays

pour me another drink

get that coffee out of here

I need something stronger

to help me disappear

I don't need your pity, darling,

but I wouldn't mind some help

point me in the direction

of my former self

I ain't lying to you

I couldn't be any more sincere

could your show me a way

to help me disappear

          oh, I once had dreams

          but those days are long gone

          I've given up looking

          for a reason to hold on

I'm telling you quite honest

I mean every word I say

if you ask me how I am

I'd say I'm not okay

I look at life and curse it

get the hell out of here

there needs to be something

to help me disappear

every sunrise

we woke up every sunrise

to the smell of fresh brewed coffee

as the sun broke through the window

for the mornings of our lives

I never stopped to notice

what you really meant to me

I never thought to treasure

the love inside your eyes

I did not recognize

what I really had

until it was gone

and I needed it so bad

I keep looking

I keep looking

inside my own mind

I don't know what for

but I know I will find

something inside there

to make me feel proud

even though I know

it is never allowed

my thoughts are scattered

they don't seem to know

the reason I look for

is where I must go

today I am searching

inside my brain

to see if my actions

and thoughts are the same

new skin (rewrite 1)

I'm growing a new skin

I'm shedding my old one

it once had its uses

but now it's done

it's time for a change

and that time is now

I'm growing a new skin

but I don't know how

my old skin is useless

because I've changed my ways

I can't see life

through this leftover haze

I'm trying to build shelter

around my old self

I'm growing a new skin

any chance you could help?

my old skin is leaving

it's done run its course

a replacement is what

I am looking towards

if you will lead me

God knows what I'll find

I'm growing a new skin

leaving my other behind

speak the truth

I will speak the truth

even though you won't like it

it's just that I do

what needs to be done

I will speak the truth

even though you can't find it

if you're looking for answers

just know I have none

new skin

I'm growing a new skin

I've shed my old one

it once had its uses

but I believe it's done

it's time for a change

and that time is now

I'm growing a new skin

but I don't know how

my old skin is useless

because I've changed my ways

I no longer can see life

through this leftover haze

I'm trying to build a new skin

around my old self

I'm growing a new skin

any chance you could help?

how thin is your skin

how thin is your skin?

can you take joking around?

or are you always serious?

life is better when

you laugh out loud

when your insides are delirious

midnight ukulele

she played a midnight ukulele

at three in the afternoon

for me and her friends

in the living room

she told us all the secrets

hidden in her song

funny thing, I think I have

known them all along

only a dream

he finds endless adventures

in cups of coffee

laced with LSD

he craves constant excitement

and crashing waves

as he sips his tea

and as far as I know

nobody's been able

to see the things he's seen

what is his daily life

would be for me

only a dream

when he's not taking risks

he pounds his fists

against the wall

seeing an invader

and the cruelty 

and unfairness of it all

but when his mind is open

and he's begging

to be seen

he comes to be

what I'll never know

except in only a dream

take me far away from here

I know my home

waits for me

visions from another plane

show me

what I could be

what is left for me

is the search to be

a human being

trying to make reality

more than only a dream

stories

there are stories that we tell ourselves

to get us through the night

some involve the ones we love

some show us a light

so we can see the way ahead

to find a better path instead

to pretend we're someone else

the stories that we tell ourselves

mistaken

"I thought I had a gift," he said

"but I guess I was mistaken"

"that's not true at all," I said

"your life is not forsaken"

but I understood his words too well

and I see them in myself

doubting everything inside

wishing I was someone else

my problem is

my problem is

I'm a very lazy person

with a work ethic

my problem is

I'm into introspection

and I'm pathetic

it only hurts when I let it

my problem is

I'm afraid of change

and I fear not changing

my problem is

all those stories inside me

keep rearranging

everything is strange

          I don't know

          who I am

          but I do

          the best I can

          welcome to showbiz

          my problem is

my problem is

I want self-knowledge

but I don't want to look inside

my problem is

I've got stories inside me

that cannot be denied

I just take it in stride

          I don't know

          what to do

          that is why

          I turn to you

          I need the answers to this quiz

          my problem is

out of the rain

I am out of the rain

the door is closed behind me

in my living room

bad weather can't find me

the sun may not shine

but it always reminds me

that better days are coming on soon

I have cleaned my glasses

I finally can see

my own little world

right in front of me

outside it is raining

but someday it won't be

better days are coming on soon

          sometimes life comes at you

          like a fast moving train

          sometimes you just have to

          come in from the rain

I am out of the rain

I'm inside my apartment

sometimes I wonder

where all the good times went

some days it feels

like everything is badly bent

but better days are coming on soon

better days are coming on soon

where I belong

nobody taught me

what I needed to know

so I taught myself

which way I should go

who I should listen to

who to ignore

who to believe

when I'm keeping score

so excuse me if I

have problems when I listen

in my life, I have learned

to never ask permission

and do what that voice

in my head says to do

and that's the reason

I am coming to you

          can you help me

          can you teach me

          I have learned everything wrong

          can you hear me

          can you reach me

          here is where I belong

I am needing

your assistance

with you beside me

I can go the distance

you know this life

a lot better than me

I will listen to you

you can help me be free

          can you help me

          can you teach me

          I have learned everything wrong

          can you hear me

          can you reach me

          here is where I belong

tell me I'm all right

tell me I'm all right

go ahead

it won't kill you

if it takes all night

tell me I'm okay

will you?

I live in eternal doubt

of something I can't live without

come into my sight

get me through the night

tell me I'm all right

forgetting haiku

I am forgetting

all the bad times I have had

I am starting now

me instead of you

I wake up every morning

and look at the trophies I have won

for being the best actor

in a low-rated also-ran sit-com

I may not have an Emmy

so the Golden Globe will have to do

when it comes down to it,

I'd rather be me instead of you

every day in Hollywood

it's always been the same damn song

everybody's telling me

stardom is the one place I belong

it's hard to be so talented

in a world that eats you up before it chews

when it comes down to brass tacks,

I'd rather be me instead of you

you live in a city

where nobody knows your name

every day's like the one before

and you're the only person to blame

this city's going to eat you up

and spit you out before it's through

I look at you in pity

I'd rather be me instead of you

I am still alive

I am still alive

my life isn't over

I still have time

to speak my mind

and to leave

my past behind

my best has yet

to arrive

I am still alive

truth be told

 

truth be told, I've always loved you

mandolin

when I hear the mandolin

it takes me back

to when I was a young man

and I had friends

and I felt free

so much joy and sorrow

contained in eight strings

ringing like glass bottles

in the early evening light

shining like fireflies

my nephew plays mandolin

he is young

but he's already known

happiness and pain

the mandolin is a good choice for him

maybe I will play the mandolin

someday

I have one

waiting for me

weather report

the sky is gray and darker

and covered with silver clouds

sunshine and brighter days

are somehow not allowed

it's kinda sort of raining

the temperature is cool

so why am I out walking?

I feel like a fool

I am not one with nature

when weather turns bad

I long to be indoors

where I am warm and glad

but duty calls and I obey

one foot in front of the other

walking on a sidewalk path

hoodie as my cover

I am on my way back home

where it is safe and dry

there is nothing quite like this

when I am warm inside

a cup of coffee, a slice of toast

my reward has come at last

the best time of day is now

when my walk has passed

I was thinking of Montana

I was thinking of Montana

I was remembering old days

before I had to change

my rough and rowdy ways

back when I was younger

when I used to have no fear

now life is just a burden

I can't wait to get on out of here

I was thinking of miss Susie

standing in her peasant skirt

natural as the autumn breeze

a memory that hurt

I can't help but remember

the way things used to be

before alcohol and cocaine

got the better of me

I was thinking about freedom

I was checking off the list

after everything, I've learned

freedom doesn't exist

I stay locked inside my memories

in a cell that you can't see

teased by non-existent tomorrows

and my fucked-up history