Quicksand

I tell you, man, I have to work so fuckin' hard just to keep things going, and it's never enough.

Welcome to the real world, farmboy.

I know, I know. It's just that I get frustrated...like everybody else, I guess. It's one big ol' frustrated world. Hand me down my Klonopin.

What's frustrating you, farmboy?

I'm trying to make my life better. I'm trying to make a fuckin' transformation here. 

I'm walking more, I'm working out at the gym, no more processed foods. I try everything I eat on a fitness app. I see a therapist every week and a psychiatrist every six weeks. I pay a bundle for a trainer at the gym. I really can't afford to do it, but he's really good and he's made a huge difference in my life. I'm playing a lot, I'm writing. I'm, as they say, making all the right choices.

Anyway, I feel like I'm not accomplishing anything. I'm afraid I'm getting discouraged and I don't want to be. I want to keep fighting.

Fighting? Explain, please.

It's like there's something that wants to pull me under and I'm fighting against it. Sometimes I feel like I'm in quicksand. I keep trying to get out...

And that's what's keeping you in.

What the fuck does that mean?

I don't know. But it sounds good.

I guess I just need to see some progress. Maybe I'm being impatient -- I'm sure I am -- but I really need some indication that I'm moving forward.

Proof.

Proof.

I just need to know that my work is not in vain, man.