Return home to you

There are not enough bridges to cross/ to get to the other side/ either way I go I'm lost/ and I don't know what I'll find/ maybe I will find the one/ who'll always be true/ but no matter what I find/ I will return home to you

unprepared

take me and shake me

wake me up inside

give me a reason

I don't have to hide

help me to see

what simply is there

and I will not be

unprepared

it's night and the light

is shining so bright

that I can't focus

on what's in front of me

in the x-ray glow

of the Milky Way

I beg

why am I here today

I could be an angel

I could be an angel

I could be a saint

I know who I am

and I know what I ain't

I'm just another stranger

with a long list of complaints

I am looking for you

everything I'm feeling

always shows up in my face

no matter how hard I try

it cannot be erased

it's like it saw me and said

"this must be the place"

I am looking for you

          you don't know me

          but I can change

          I can be anyone

          you want to rearrange

I could be your brother

I could be your friend

I could be your worst fear

coming to bother you again

I can be real life

or I can just pretend

I am looking for you

or maybe I can be

exactly who I am

someone who will do anything

that I think I can

I come here in hope

that you'll understand

I am looking for you

          you don't know me

          but I can change

          I can be anyone

          you want to rearrange

I could be an angel

I can be a saint

my job

I am doing my job

I'm working as hard as I can

I am making progress

I'm starting to understand

the ways of the world

in which I live

there is not anything

I've done I wish I did

I am doing my job

is it time for a break?

sometimes my job

is just a mistake

I am spinning the wheel

toward my destiny

I know there's a special

man inside me

I am keeping my secrets

I promised not to tell

I am hiding the questions

both to you and myself

I am doing my job

is it quitting time yet

sometimes my job

is what I'd like to forget

I woke up this morning

I woke up this morning

and immediately sprung into action

I was going to stare long and hard

at the reason for my dissatisfaction

but somehow I got sidelined

and  I looked away

from the sadness and fear

of where I am today

where am I going

I asked myself at the start

am I looking for a cure

for my everbreaking heart

no I'm just searching

for a reason to be me

and I'm figuring out

what it means to be free

Christmas 2023

Christmas is here

2023

and I am home.

There was a chance I wouldn't be

but I am.

Maybe sometimes

things work out.

I am here

all I know is I am here

waiting for instructions

like I always do

being an interruption

what else is new?

Today I was supposed to go home

 Today I was supposed to go home/ I did everything to make it so/ today I was supposed to go home/ why it didn't happen I don't know/ I was supposed to go home today/ like all my dreams they've gone away/ today I was supposed to go home

Today I was supposed to go home/ I'm alone in a hospital room/ today I was supposed to go home/ now I won't be leaving soon/ why this happened I don't know/ I'm a prisoner/ I can't go/ I have nothing left to show/ today I was supposed to go home

I prayed to you

I prayed to you/ and you never answered/ what did I do wrong/ I put my faith in you/ but you didn't listen/ what did I do wrong/ I did everything that I could do/ I told myself that I'd pull through/ I prayed to you/ I prayed to you

Why did you desert me/ in my time of need/ what did I do wrong/ this time the pain/ is too strong to believe/ what did I do wrong/ why do I have to go through this alone/ instead into the fire I was thrown/ today I was supposed to go home/ I prayed to you/ I prayed to you

Today I was supposed to go home/ today I was supposed to go home/ today I was supposed to go home

How can I believe in you/when you don't hear me/ what did I do wrong/ why won't you let/ anybody near me/ what did I do wrong/ I'm alone as I can be/ there's nobody around to see/ the wretched mess you've made of me/I prayed to you/I prayed to you

Today I was supposed to go home

I don't want to get up

 I don't want to get up/ I want to lie in bed all day/ I'm under the blankets/ and it's here I'm gonna stay/ I don't want to get up/ I want to waste the day away

It's raining outside/ the rain is falling down/ and here in bed/ I am safe and sound/ it's raining outside/ I want to stay on dry ground

I don't need a shower/ I want to be dry/ away from those raindrops/ falling out of the sky/under the blankets/ that's where I'm going to stay/ alarm clock/ get out of my way

I don't want to get up/ let me lie in bed/ I want to lie here/ with the pillow under my head/ I don't want to get up/ I just wanna sleep instead

I'll take the risk

 I don't know what will happen/ if I've found the real thing/ love is so much more/ than a silver wedding ring/ I'm hoping you're my soul mate/ you're someone I have missed/ and when it comes to loving you/ I'll take the risk

It's natural to be afraid/ when love is what's at stake/ but I've had my share of loneliness/ and it's more than I can take/ if I had the money/ I'd spend hand over fist/ 'cause when it comes to loving you/ I'll take the risk

(chorus) I'll take the risk/ I'll take the risk/ I've had my fill of heartbreak/ my fair share of loneliness/ but I know that you are different/ I've never felt like this/ 'cause when it comes to loving you/ I'll take the risk

Don't leave me broken hearted/ give this guy a chance/ I want to discover/ a real life romance/ I don't know about tomorrow/ but I know that time is brisk/ and when it comes to loving you/ I'll take the risk

I'll take the risk/ I'll take the risk/ I've had my fill of heartbreak/ I will not second guess/  I'll take the risk/ I'll take the risk/ finally I've got a chance/ to find true happiness/ 'cause when it comes to loving you/ I'll take the risk

Save a place in Heaven

 Lord, save a place in Heaven/ for those who do the work/ of helping other people/ when their lives get hurt/ for those who aid the homeless/ the injured and the weak/ for those who stand for justice/ who are unafraid to speak

When I get home

 When I get home/ I'm going to brew a cup of coffee/ pick up my guitar/ and play, play, play/ I will eat cashews whole/ and smoke a bowl/ and watch my blues melt away/ I will sleep in my own bed/ and dream my sweet dreams/ and create all/ my own ways and means/ when I get home/ I will do what I please/ when I get out of this hospital

When I get home/ I will look out my window/ and gaze at the sky/ at the harvest moon/ I will eat my own food/ if I'm in the mood/ I pray that it's happening soon/ I will write in the morning/ and rest in the night/ and be grateful/ for my sense of sight/ when I get home/ it will all be all right/ when I get out of this hospital

When I get home/ I will always be thankful/ for all of the blessings/ that come my way/ I won't take for granted/ the seeds that are planted/ in short, I am feeling okay/ please don't let me stay here/ in this world I have known/ where all of my hope/ is always on loan/ I want to feel better/ I want to go home/ when I get out of this hospital

Never enough love

 There is never enough love/ no matter how I try/ it hides in the shadows/ and it passes me by/ my heart's always empty/ it just won't fill/ if love never works/ then nothing else will

There is never enough peace/ I hold in my mind/ serenity goes/ and it leaves me behind

Afterthought

 Do you recognize me/ I used to belong to you/ once upon a time/ but now that time is through/ can you remember me/ do you think of me sometimes/ or am I a careless memory/ that you left behind/ I know I still think of you/ more often than not/ I am just an afterthought

I am not invisible/ I am here before your eyes/ why does my appearance/ come as a surprise/ I know you've forgotten me/ I am not on your mind/ I am just somebody/ that you can't even find/ I know this is impossible/ I thought I'd give you one last shot/ I am just an afterthought

I will not cross your mind again/ your heart will not recall/ our history together/ you don't think of me at all/ sometime in the future/ save a thought for me/ I know I'm in there somewhere/ inside your memory/ when I start thinking about you/ that's when I get caught/ I am just an afterthought

Step one

 I am back to step one/ I'm starting all over again/ just when I thought/ I was going to almost win/ but plans went awry/ and mistakes were made/ and I know I'm/ the one to blame

I am back to step one/ it's sad and it's true/ just when I thought/ I was making it through/ a new beginning/ is exactly what I need/ I'm not any good/ at keeping up speed

I know I should forgive myself/ it would be better/ if I was somebody else

I am back to step one/ it's so frustrating/ I'm tired of working/ and tired of waiting/ this life I live/ it's no damn fun/ I'm starting all over/ I'm back to step one

I had an idea

 I had a idea/ it formed in my mind/ but then I forgot it/ and I couldn't find it again/ so I kept on looking/ I couldn't leave it behind/ but it was gone, gone, gone/ like the chilly winds in summer/ like a heat wave in December/ I had an idea/ but I don't know what it was

Bookmark

Think of me as your bookmark/ something you'd find at the library/ a piece of construction paper/ I am yours for free/ I will be where you need me/ I will be cautious and true/ I will be your bookmark/ I will hold your place for you

You can't depend on human beings/ standing on solid ground/ they always leave you wanting/ they will let you down/ but I am loyal and honest/ judgement is not on my mind/ I will be your bookmark/ I will not let you fall behind

I will take this moment/ save it for future use/ and you will remember/ you will not be confused

I enjoy being your bookmark/ it's my job and I am good/ I will provide a break/ just like a bookmark should/ and if you ever lose me/ you should have no fear/ I will be your bookmark/ I am always here

While I climb this mountain

 While I climb this mountain/ I will take a look around/ at the people underneath me/ living their lives safe and sound/ I will remember every face/ I'll remember every voice/ I'll remember what life was like/ before I made my choice

While I climb this mountain/ I will think of those I love/ and how they've influenced/ all that I think of/ I will look back on my memories/ every single one/ they will pull me through this journey/ of where I have begun

Life is hard/ and life is tough/ but I can never get enough

While I climb this mountain/ I will remember you/ and how you've helped me on this path/ of what I'm going through/ life will take a hold of you/ and put you through the test/ while I climb this mountain/ I will do my best

Today I am hopeful

 There is so much trouble/ it's hard to believe/ I'm afraid that life/ has something up its sleeve/ but today feels different/ there's no reason to grieve/ today I am hopeful

After all this rain/ the sun is shining through/ and today I know/ exactly what to do/ I will keep my head up/ although I have no clue/ today I am hopeful

I don't know why/ life is giving me a break/ but I will take it/ joy is never a mistake

I will do what I can/ to keep feeling this way/ there's nobody to question/ and even less to say/ all I know is my life/ is finally feeling okay/ today I am hopeful

Over the hill

 Back in the old days/ when technology was new/ the future had a plan/ and it was waiting for you/ and you greeted the day/ with a smile on your face/ little did you know/ soon you'd be out of place 

Back in the old days/ you lived for today/ never believing/ it would ever go away/ you were so young then/ now it's a surprise/ the world has changed/ right before your eyes

Time moves swiftly/ time moves fast/ nothing in this world/ is ever meant to last/ times keep changing/ it will not stand still/ one day you're climbing/ now you're over the hill

Back in the old days/ promise was yours/ but time moves onwards/ you can be sure/ now it's a new day/ this world can be cold/ but it's still worth something/ even if you are old

Time moves swiftly/ time moves fast/ nothing in this world/ is ever meant to last/ times keep changing/ it will not stand still/ one day you're climbing/ now you're over the hill

Grateful

 I remember every act of kindness/ that strangers have done for me/ but I haven't been as grateful/ as I know I should be/ but today I am thankful/ for this hospital bed/ that keeps me safe and sound/ as I live inside my head

Thank you for the mercy/ you show me everyday/ today I am grateful/ for the kind words that you say

Millie

 Millie is waiting for her life to begin/ she's tired of thinking that she'll never win/ doing everything over again/ she's ready for a change/ Millie dreams of a future to come/ a brand new day under the sun/ her old life is finished and done/ there's nothing to rearrange

And everyday Millie gets older/ the world grows colder/ but still she goes on/ dreaming the dreams of a distant tomorrow/ there's nothing to borrow/ in search of the dawn

Across the river of Jordan

 Once upon a time/ I was once like you/ young and full of energy/ there was nothing I couldn't do/ but youth fades like the twilight/ and whispers in the wind/ and now I'm just an echo/ of who I was back then

Take me, time, and shake me/ wake me from my dreams/ soon I will be traveling/ across the river of Jordan

A man grows old and tired/ when his time has almost come/ time to look in wonder/ at the world where he came from/ but it's been a good life/ with blessings that abound/ I'll meet you over yonder/ where all is safe and sound

Take me, time, and shake me/ wake me from my dreams/ soon I will be traveling/ across the river of Jordan

In this hospital

 In this hospital/ there are lots of machines/ hands are clean/ out of date time magazines/ in this hospital/ time moves on/ from dark till dawn/ until it's done/ and you are a patient here/ have no fear/ they take care of you/ they do what they're supposed to do/ you are safe here/ in this hospital

I am not lost

 I am not lost/ but I am searching/ to find my direction back home/ I am tired/ but I will not stop/ till I'm out of the unknown/ if you need me/ I will be there/ back in your memory/ I am not lost/ but I am searching/ for a way to be free

Feet keep moving

Feet keep moving/ forward and through/ but feet keep moving/ that's what feet do/ they've got a job/ they do it well/ where they're going/ only time will tell

Brain keeps working/it spins its wheels/ it doesn't care/ what you feel/ it only reports/ back to you/ whatever you/ are going through

Your body works/ in mysterious ways/ look inside yourself/ it's working today/ and whether you go/ or if you stay/ your body is working/ anyway

Today I am missing

 Today I am missing/nobody knows where I am/there's so much I want to tell you/but you may not understand/today I am missing/send out an message fast/maybe an all points bulletin/I don't know how long I'll last

Retirement age

 When you gave up the road/ you didn't let go of your music/ and it keeps coming out/ it's something you can't help/ words tumble out in new designs/ with time as an illusion/ melodies gather around like little kids/ it's a way to calm yourself

And now you dream about an audience/ you dream about a stage/ everything is harder/ when you reach retirement age

One more thing

 One more thing/I don't appreciate being told/that it appears I'm on my way/to finally growing old/when it comes to trouble/I've finally had enough/I will never grow up

And another thing/I need to say/I am standing my ground/I will not go away/I am having a drink/from the loving cup/I will always be thirsty/I will never grow up

Another day

When all is dark and dreary/and your dreams aren't coming true/and there's no rest for the weary/what are you going to do/you can shake your fists at the sky/curse the world and its ways/or you can let it go by/and try again another day