starbucks

just turn 
at the starbucks on the corner
which corner?
doesn't matter
which starbucks?
any one

equilibrium 2

you wreck my balance
I'm falling over
into the grand canyon
of desire
you've got your talents
no law and order
I must abandon 
walking on this wire

I got a neon sign in my head
saying danger baby
you'd be better off dead

          equilibrium
          you wreck my 
          you wreck my
          my equilibrium
          I'm gonna tumble tumble
          equilibrium
          you wreck my
          you wreck my
          my equilibrium
          I'm gonna tumble tumble

I am not grounded
there is no center
the world is shaking
beyond my control
I am surrounded
by signs: do not enter
all this earthquaking
gonna swallow me whole

I got a neon sign in my brain
saying danger baby
ain't no home on the range

          equilibrium
          you wreck my 
          you wreck my
          my equilibrium
          I'm gonna tumble tumble
          equilibrium
          you wreck my
          you wreck my
          my equilibrium
          I'm gonna tumble tumble

Evened-out

Tell me about Yakima, farmboy. Did you have a good time?

Yeah, it was…good, but I had this one main thing go wrong. Which was the container I have my meds in fell out of my suitcase somewhere. Anyway, I didn't have it and I know I packed it.

So those meds include my antidepressants. So essentially I was kinda in detox mode after a day or so.

Oh no! I'm sorry to hear that, farmboy. How are you now?

I'm evened-out. But, let me tell you, it's a good thing I came home when I did. It would have been bad if I had stayed there another one or two days.

I'm glad you're back.

Me too, man. It's a fuckin' shame when you spend the holiday season with emotional things happening that you don't fuckin' understand.

Other than that stuff, Yakima was fine. I liked all the open space and Mexican restaurants. It was great to see my brother and his wife and child. All in all, it was a good Christmas.

And you?

It was pretty low-key, which is the way I like it.

Yeah, really, ours was too. Which I like as well. You know, the yearly tradition of the Christmas nap.

everything but the truth

you got excuses
you need to believe
you got something sinister
up your sleeve
you got everything, babe
yeah, you got everything
everything but the truth

you got your reasons
honey, I got mine
it's a shame that your heart
was fueled on turpentine
you got everything, darlin'
yeah, you got it all
everything but the truth

equilibrium

you wreck my balance
I'm falling over
into a canyon
of unwanted dreams
you've got your talents
your law and order
I must abandon 
all my practiced schemes

I got a neon sign in my head
saying danger baby
you'd be better off dead

equilibrium
you wreck my 
you wreck my
my equilibrium
I'm gonna tumble tumble
equilibrium
you wreck my
you wreck my
my equilibrium
I'm gonna tumble tumble

back from Yakima

Hey, man, just writing to let you know that I'm home, back from Yakima. I'm glad I went but I'm so fuckin' tired right now, it isn't funny. So I hope you had a merry, merry Christmas and I'll catch you later.

yr pl frmby

Christmas haiku

no more history
where it is unneeded
I will be here today

Christmas eve

Hey, man, hope you're doing okay. I'm here in Yakima and it's Christmas eve and all is going fine. Merry Christmas and I'll talk at you later. I'm typing this on a Kindle Fire and I've never done this before. It's tedious as all hell. Anyway, I'll check in tomorrow.            

Yakima!

Hey man --

Just thought I'd write you a note. I'm going to my brother's place for Christmas. That's right, Yakima! The center of the fuckin' universe as we know it! Anyway, I'll try to contact you when I'm there, but in case I can't, have a Merry Christmas and I;ll see you when I get back on Friday.

your favorite songwriter
farmboy

sense of balance

could you help me up?
would you give me your hand?
would you do your best
to understand
exactly where I'm coming from
I'm regaining my sense of balance
and I'm on step number one

evidence 2

footsteps above my ceiling
radio across the hall
voices from another apartment
grade schoolers with a basketball
evidence of human life
I'm wishing I could be like them
I know I've got the right to enter
but I won't let myself in

buses pick up strangers
I drive a car alone
I don't know my neighbors
there's nobody at home
evidence of human life
statistics in a science book
I know there's a place for me
but I'm afraid to look

I'll be safe
I'll be well
in this self-made
prison cell
there is nothing 
that anyone can tell me

beginning of pop song

I been hesitating
anticipating
crying and waiting 
for you

evidence

footsteps above my ceiling
drums from down the hall
voices from another apartment
grade schoolers with a basketball
evidence of human life
I'm wishing I could be like them
I know I've got the right to enter
but I won't let myself in

I'm on a sabbatical

So, as of today, I am car-free.

Carefree? It's good to see you being happy, farmboy.

No, you idiot. Car-free.  I sold my truck and I am now without a vehicle. I don't know for how long, but I've been carpooling and riding the bus for a month and a half now and it's okay. Really, it's okay. I think that it'll be healthier and I'll see how it goes financially.

Do you think you've quit driving for good?

Oh, fuck no. I'm on a sabbatical from being a car owner for a while. I'm sure I'll get another car someday. 

What about the finances?

I think it'll be cheaper than driving. But, as you know, driving is fuckin' expensive as all hell.

Well, farmboy, good luck in this new endeavor. I think this may be good for you, physically and financially. Maybe I'll try it myself.

If I were you, I'd wait to see how I do first.

cocoa

I am waiting
for hot cocoa to appear
magically 
from the water in the kettle
meeting the powder
inside the white envelope
where the words are printed:

create the moment

to which I reply
I'm trying
I'm trying

The part of my job that's the fuckin' worst

Hey, man, how're you doing?

Not too shabby, farmboy. How's yourself?

I've been sick these last couple of days. Called in sick at work.

I did go in  yesterday. There's this student in our class,,,anyway, she stopped breathing and she was taken to the hospital. I'm leaving out a lot of details…

That's okay, farmboy. What happened?

She died. She passed away. The word "died" is so fuckin' heartless, you know?

So that's the part of my job that's the fuckin' worst. You just have to accept it, I know, but it takes a little time. I'm glad I went to work yesterday.

It was probably good for you.

Yeah.

I'm sorry for your loss, farmboy.

Thanks.

for Meghan

I thank you for your rhythm
I thank you for your smile
and I hope you're somewhere
where there is no pain
only the love
that heals everything

begun

oh my God
what have I done?
my life's almost over
and I've only just begun

case of the nasties

sweet little miss thing's
caught a case of the nasties
thinks she has potential
as a beauty queen
every night you can
see her dancing
with the high school seniors
in the mezzanine 

got her hiphuggers on
her socks, they're both knee-high
her own school spirit
and a sense of style
her tongue in his month
her hand on his levi's
she whispers do you want to make
your bad girl smile

sweet little miss thing's
caught a case of the nasties
she used to be
so wholesome and sweet
she thinks she looks
so high-toned and classy
while she walks through this campus
like a dog in heat

stupid computer game

stupid computer game
it keeps taking up 
all my time
all I know's that I'm
a prisoner of this
stupid computer game
I should be doing 
other things
there must be something happening
instead of this
stupid computer game

Pay attention

So I've been thinking that my life needs a little more focus to it. So I've decided to try a new thing: I'm going to listen to one song a day. I mean, really fuckin' listen to it. Pay attention. What do you think?

It doesn't matter what I think. What do you think?

I think I might want to try it. But, you know, if it doesn't feel good, I won't do it. But maybe I should just give it a try.

Wouldn't hurt. So what have you listened to today?

Um…I heard snippets of songs from some new guy. He was okay. It's not really my thing.

Yesterday, though, I listened to Louis Armstrong and his Hot Five, which was so fuckin' cool I can't even describe it. I mean, damn! So, so good. I'll be listening to that again, I tell you what..

This might be a good idea. Keep me posted. 

Yeah. Maybe I'll just send you a note from time to time, you know, like l/t Louis Armstrong and his Hot Five.

l/t?

Listened to. Or listening to. Or something like that.

I'll be the dog

I'll be the dog
that trusts you completely
I'll ever so sweetly
slobber on you
I'll lick your face
you can pet me all over
just call me rover
and I'll always be true

The songs I wrote along the way

You know, I don't ask for too much in my life…

(sarcastically)  That's an understatement…

Yeah? Well, fuck you.

As I was saying, I don't ask for too much in my life, but there's something that I need.

And what's that, farmboy?

A song. I need to write a song. I need to write a great fuckin' song, man. So I write and I write and I still don't have it. At this rate, all I'm gonna end up with are the songs I wrote along the way, you know?

And that's…bad?

Fuck, yeah. 'Cause I just want to write a great song…

Yes, you said that.

Just let me finish, fucknose. I just want to write a great song because…because…

Yes. farmboy?

Because I just need to do the best I possibly can. I have to. 

But you are writing the best songs you can write.

For now. 

I don't have a time machine, farmboy.

I know. I'm just being impatient. I hate feeling this way, 'cause it's the one guaranteed way to not write a great song.

So what happens now?

I guess I just keep writing and writing and writing...

slippers

put your feet in slippers
put your mind at rest
forget about the world outside
you have done your best
coat your throat in cocoa
draw a nice, long toke
life is but a dream when
it stops playing jokes

listen to the silence
like it's a symphony
you know, you keep yourself
pretty good company
treat yourself to dinner
at a fancy restaurant
life is but a dream when
it behaves the way you want

go make a tub of popcorn
put butter on it, too
find some crap on TV
and open up a brew
drink until the sun comes up
and the moon starts keeping score
life is but a dream when
it don't matter anymore

so put your feet in slippers
put your mind at rest
go and have your supper
like it's your last request
sip that strong, hot coffee
have a second cup
life is but a dream when
you're busy waking up

my chemical girl

my mama always said 
I was up to no good
I had all the ambition 
in west hollywood
I knew the talk 
from both sides of the aisle
I had the walk 
and the smartest of smiles
I mean, 
I was all right until I met her
since then 
I've only tried to forget her
but, oh, man
there ain't nothing better
in this mean old world
as my chemical girl
my chemical girl

I went off 2

I went off to find myself
'cause I thought that I was missing
found out what I really was
was lost  
I went off to free myself
to stop asking permission
somehow I would up paying
the cost
I went off to be a man
working hard to understand
constantly afraid of living soft
I went off
I went off

I went off

I went off to find myself
'cause I thought that I was missing
found out what I really was
was lost  

rising of the moon (second verse)

my eyes are burning
I can't believe what I'm seeing
is it a nightmare or a vision
or a dream coming true
if there's a purpose
to the secrets I'm revealing
let it unlock my heart
to the rising of the moon

rising of the moon

my mind is spinning
I can't get my eyes to focus
so I'll lay here on the sidewalk
and lick my mental wounds
I'm more than willing
to believe in hocus pocus
if it 'll cast my eyes to heaven
and the rising of the moon

Small momentary pleasures

So this is today, man. Just your regular, normal day full of frustrations and small momentary pleasures…

Such as?

You know, just the everyday stuff.

I just want to hear some specifics, farmboy.

Uh, like…like there's this coworker who just got back from spending Thanksgiving in Florida who brought in pastries this morning.

Okay. Quick, another.

What's your fuckin' problem, man?

I'm just curious.

Okay, um…I heard Joseph Spence play "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." I fuckin' love that. 

Another?

I got to play guitar at work.

And one more…

Let me think. How about the excellent hot coffee I had this morning?

Sounds like a good day, farmboy.

Yeah, well, you didn't hear the parts I left out.

monkey wrench

take me to home depot
point me to the clerk
I need to buy a monkey wrench
to gum up all the works

life's running much too smoothly
it's the same old boring song
I need to throw a monkey wrench
and make something go wrong

          this is what I am best at
          this is where I excel
          fucking everything up
          when everything's going so well

so log me on to amazon
go search ebay too
I need to get a monkey wrench
to do what I always do