What am I going to do?

So it's January 2nd and the world is full of trouble. I am full of trouble. Today, in about an hour and a half, I see my therapist and try to figure out whether we have to quit meeting because of insurance companies and that kind of shit. Damn. I didn't want to have to deal with this kind of thing. Everything is falling apart. And if I can't go to my therapist anymore, well...I don't fuckin' know. I don't have a fuckin' clue. The apartment is a mess, and people from the apartment complex are sending someone to look at the smoke detectors. I know this will all end, but...There's the whole money thing, too, the COBRA insurance, which is being increased by almost 50 percent. 

This is a great fuckin' start to the fuckin' new year. I'm sure more will go wrong, because more wrong always happens. God, I don't know how I'm going to handle this stuff.

But you'll figure out a way, farmboy. You always do.

I know, but that doesn't make anything any easier. I've already lost my trainer and the majority of my friends. I just keep losing people. And all this money problems. I need to find a job. But now that I'm fuckin' disabled and so old, I don't know whether anyone will take a chance on hiring me. 

Help me, man.

I'm helping you the only way I can, farmboy. All I can do is listen and occasionally offer something that approximates advice.

I know and I appreciate it, man. I just never thought it would get this bad. And now everything is falling apart and I'm a nervous wreck and there's no one who can help me. (Starts to cry)  What am I going to do?

Don't panic.

It's too late for that. Why is my life always in such a mess? Why do I have so much bad luck?

You'll be okay, I promise.

What if I'm not?

You will be.

I don't know, man. I don't know if I'll be okay because what else is waiting to destroy me when this is over? It doesn't end. These are major life things, and they just keep coming. What am I going to do without my therapist? What if I don't find a job? What if I end up without health insurance and what if I can't pay my rent? And why does this all have to happen now, when I'm crumbling under the weight of major depression. I've been depressed and anxious and scared for so long, I don't know what I'm going to do.

Help me.

I am.

I know. Thank you. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you to talk to. I feel the same way about my therapist. I can't believe the powers that be are going to take him away from me. What am I going to do? I'm desperate here.

Help me.