so it doesn't matter

I am so fuckin' tired
of thinking about the meaning
of my small, insignificant life

I'm thinking:
I need to buy a TV
and learn to enjoy reality shows

and then I'm thinking:
you elitist bastard
like TV is beneath you
like reality shows are beneath you
nothing is beneath you,
you miserable sack of shit

so it doesn't matter 
no matter what I do
I apply it to my fuckin' life

I am so fuckin' tired