people's answering machines

sometimes I call
people's answering machines
just to hear a voice 
to calm myself down
I wait for the tone 
but I don't leave a message
I hold in my breath
I don't make a sound

          nobody's ever at home anymore
          so calling's safe as can be
          I call my friends and my therapist
          and pretend that they're talking to me

sometimes I write
emails to people
who've rejected me
and I leave them as drafts
I don't censor myself
from what I'm really thinking
when I think of those letters 
I just have to laugh

          revenge flows like venom from a snake
          or heroin entering the skin
          sometimes one or two slip out
          that won't happen again
          
sometimes I wish
I could be connected
to other people
but I know it's a dream
so for now
leave a message
at the sound of the tone
it's the sound of your own
answering machine