I've lost myself somehow

I'm tired of writing lousy songs.

But, farmboy, you love writing songs.

I do. And I love having written songs. But lately I just can't seem to locate that part of myself that thinks my emotions are worth writing about. Look, I write every fuckin' day. And sometimes it's the hardest fuckin' thing you can imagine. It's like I look at myself and say "Where the fuck am I?" Because I've lost myself somehow.

I'm sure you're searching, though...

I am. 

And maybe that's where the songs begin.

I suppose. But it's so long between songs. And then I don't really have an audience any more, so what's the point?

Never mind, man. I'm just whining and complaining now.

You've earned the right, farmboy. You've been writing a very long time. Ever think about taking a break?

I'm afraid to. I'm afraid that if I stop writing -- and practicing, for that matter -- it'll just be harder and harder and that I'll hardly ever write.

That could be a good thing.

I guess.

The fact is, though, I love writing and I've written a whole lot during these past few years. An accident and a mental breakdown will do that to you.

Yeah, farmboy. That and hard work and discipline. A strong work ethic. A willingness to explore yourself. Don't give the credit to something that causes you harm. 

I know. It's ridiculous. 

I don't want to sound like some old self-help book, but maybe you might try letting up on yourself. Just a little.

Okay, I'll try it. But it ain't gonna be easy.