painting

if you stare at the canvas long enough

you'll discover what you can paint

just because they told you were stupid

just means you are something they ain't

place the paintbrush in your hand

choose the color and the hue

there are no barriers here

everything depends on you

dip the brush in shades of blue

and boldly make a stroke

there are no mistakes here

criticism is a joke

paint a tree

a dog

the sky

the blessed earth below

every line and splash and stain

is something that you know

and you have made a painting

with the brush in your own hand

what you have deep inside you

is yours to understand

celebrate your yearning heart

in all the work you do

you are now discovering

the love inside of you

working

every day you keep on working

and you will until you die

you can search for an answer

but there is no reason why

either it's your stupid job

or one that's still unknown

or even, if you have one,

you'll be working at home

working for your loved ones

working with the trash

working at some stupid job

in exchange for cash

working for your family

working for your friends

Heaven only knows when

all this work will end

          so give yourself a break

          everyday is hard

          it's time to get some rest

          sit in someone's back yard

          and sit a while in silence

          until the setting sun

          and when it's all over

          there'll be more work to be done

working in the morning

working in the afternoon

no matter how you try

it won't be over soon

so live inside your fantasies

daydream all day long

I know it seems worthless

but you've known it all along

          so give yourself a break

          everyday is rough

          no matter how you try

          it never is enough

          sit there in the sunshine

          until the stting sun

          don't worry 'bout tomorrow

          there's always work to be done

dark days of sorrow (rewrite 1)

I'm okay with waiting

if that's what it takes

to overlook the failures

and all the mistakes

it took to get here

where I can be on my own

to look inside my heart

and consider it home

at last

the dark days of sorrow

have passed

I'm okay with hoping

I've done it all my life

still not expecting

anything to go right

I try my best

at least that's what I claim

but I'm always first

when someone's to blame

so I'll move on 

the dark days of sorrow

are gone

I'm okay with leaving

I've done it before

and if I need to

I can do it some more

I know I am strong now

I know where I stand

all that I need

is wherever I am

I know what to do

the dark days of sorrow

are through

the dark days of sorrow

I'm okay with waiting

if that's what it takes

to overlook the failures

and the many mistakes

it took to get here

where I can be on my own

to look inside my heart

and consider it home

at last

the dark days of sorrow

have passed

and I'm okay with hoping

I've done it all my life

and still it won't accept

all the stuff that turns out right

I always do my best

at least that's what I claim

I know I'm always first

when they need someone to blame

I move on and say

the dark days of sorrow

are gone

enough

I don't need you to have money

I don't need you to have fame

I don't need you to be funny

I don't need this to be a game

all I need from you is safety

and the feeling of being love

as long as you're beside me

I know that it's enough

people say I'm crazy

looking for a love that's true

but their reasoning is hazy

I just need to be with you

you know how to calm me

when the going's getting rough

as long as you're beside me

I know that it's enough

          people holler everywhere I turn

          everybody tells me what to do

          through it all, the main thing I have learned

          is that it's right being with you

all my life I've been lonely

wishing on a falling star

I am living for you only

you're perfect just the way you are

I feel strong when I'm with you

I know the road of life is tough

but as long as you're beside me

I know that it's enough

asking questions

what can we do? 

is there a solution?

how do we start

the new revolution?

who will listen?

who, what, how?

the time for asking questions

is now

how did we get here

in this land of the gun?

can anyone help us?

what can be done?

what can we accomplish

what our hearts will allow?

the time for asking questions

is now

          no more keeping quiet

          no more laying low

          our hands must accomplish

          what our heads and hearts know

how long will this go for?

when will this end?

it's happening over

and over again

it's time to start talking

softly or loud

the time for asking questions

is now

one nation under guns (rewrite 1)

we are one nation under guns

it is our right

we are country number one

and we must fight

to take freedom from others

with whom we disagree

no more talk about sisters and brothers

we are the land of the free

we are one nation under guns

our heritage is this:

we must protect what we've become

with an iron fist

pick a target and follow

shoot with no regret

take somebody's tomorrow

watch on your TV set

we are one nation under guns

we do not play by rules

Heaven help us, everyone

at work, at home, at school

we have the right to claim

the guns we all desire

this is America today

ready

aim

fire

one nation under guns

we are one nation under guns

it is our right

we are country number one

and we must fight

to take freedom from others

with whom we disagree

no more sisters and brothers

we are the land of the free

we are one nation under guns

our heritage is this:

we must protect what we've become

with an iron fist

pick a target and follow

shoot with no regret

take somebody's tomorrow

watch on your TV set

we are one nation under guns

we will not play by the rules

God help us, everyone

at work, at home, at school

we have the right to carry

the guns we all desire

this is America today

ready

aim

fire

playing pretend

I know I need to quit

but I just can't seem to do it

I thought there was nothing to it

but I was wrong again

it's everywhere I look

advertisements and articles

I consider the particles

but I know they're not my friend

I thought I would get well

but I can't get any sicker

wine and beer and liquor

is all I've ever known

and now I'm at the end

at least I thought I was

but now I'm not because

I'm thirsty and I'm home

          I need to be touching bottom

          before I can get up again

          every time I feel like quitting

          I'm only playing pretend

how did we turn out this way

every morning I look at the news

the headlines are shocking

the good guys are losing and

greed and disaster 

are coming our way

and we are left helpless

with nothing to say

except:

where are the leaders

the ones who are honest

the ones who show hope

and political promise

who's going to lead us

into the new day

how did we turn out this way

what if I

what if I do

what I'm not supposed to do

will the world explode

will the oceans rise

what if I say

the words I'd like to say to you

would you tell the truth

or return to lies

what do I mean

when I tell you I'm sorry

I mean please don't leave me

I know I can change

my mind is somewhere else

it's out on safari

and I make my decisions

with all that remains

better than okay (rewrite 2)

I walked out this morning

to see the sun rise

up over the mountains

and into my eyes

and I stood there in silence

as I started the day

surprised to be feeling

better than okay

the golden light glistened

and washed over me

bringing the morning

for my tired eyes to see

it was too cold to be there

but I stood anyway

surrounded by sunshine

better than okay

why do I worry

why do I fret

right here is a morning

I'll never forget

responsibility calls me

but I disobey

I'd rather be here

better than okay

I continued my day

I went back indoors

usually there's trouble

that I can't ignore

but I sat there unshaken

with nothing to say

believing I'm feeling

better than okay

better than okay (rewrite 1)

I walked out this morning

to see the sun rise

up over the mountains

and into my eyes

and I stood there in silence

as I started the day

surprised to be feeling

better than okay

the golden light shone bright

and washed up over me

bringing us the morning

for our tired eyes to see

it was far too cold to be there

but I stood up anyway

surrounded by the sunshine

feeling better than okay

why do I worry

about where the day will go

when everything is peaceful

for how long, I don't know

the house may call me in

but I will disobey

I'd rather stand here in the cold

better than okay

I continued my day

I went back inside

but this time I didn't

go to bed and hide

I sat there in silence

with nothing to say

believing I'm feeling

better than okay

everywhere, all over the world

everywhere, all over the world

people are experiencing wonderful things

people are winning

it's their special day

I would like to have a special day

but destiny does not hold me

in its hands. instead

destiny ignores me

day after day,

it's like I don't exist, the way

destiny passes me by

but if you look,

everywhere, all over the world

there is terror

there is violence

there is starvation

thyere is inequality

there are more slaves now

than ny time in history

but some people are winning

and that's what I focus on

because I am not one of them

better than okay

I walked out this morning

to see the sun rise

up over the mountains

and into my eyes

and I stood there in silence

as I started the day

surprised to be feeling

better than okay

I continued my day

I went back inside

but this time I didn't

go to bed and hide

I sat there in silence

with nothing to say

believing I'm feeling

better than okay

good news

let me get up from this folding chair

and I will walk the best I can

to find the meaning hiding there

one which I hope to understand

I will search and I will follow

whichever way I need to do

the world is too much for me to swallow

right now I need some good news

my cigarette days (rewrite 1)

I wish I still smoked

I wish I still drank

I wish I still had

money in the bank

you should have seen me

through the nicotine haze

I was quite something

in my cigarette days

I canvassed the avenue

late in the night

looking for something

to not turn out right

I started out common

and wound up amazed

life was adventure

in my cigarette days

          old age and broken dreams follow 

          wherever I go

          I thought I had endless tomorrows

          shows how much I know

you might think I'm crazy

you might think I'm brave

you might think I was born

to misbehave

but where others chose caution

I walked unafraid

I was the man

in my cigarette days

now I've grown old 

and my youth is all gone

and I see no star

for wishing upon

I could be unhappy

but I feel okay

tonight I just miss

my cigarette days

my cigarette days

I wish I still smoked

I wish I still drank

I wish I still had

money in the bank

you should have seen me

through the nicotine haze

I was quite something

in my cigarette days

I canvassed the avenue

late in the night

looking for something

to not turn out right

I started out common

and turned out amazed

life had purpose

in my cigarette days

          good and bad luck follow me

          everywhere I go

          I thought I would live forever

          shows how much I know

you might think me crazy

you might think me brave

you might think I was born

to misbehave

but where others found caution

I was unafraid

I was the man

in my cigarette days

now I've quit smoking

booze won't touch my lips

no world is waiting

at my fingertips

I should be disappointed

instead I feel okay

but sometimes I miss

my cigarette days

I don't have memories (rewrite 1)

memories

don't occur to me

they're all a blur to me

they don't exist

people

think about the past

but I've been miscast

I cannot reminisce

          I don't have memories

          they're not inside of me

memories

I have a history

why won't it come to me

I can't let it go

people

talk about yesterday

but I don't have much to say

about what I don't know

          I don't have memories

          there's nothing there to see

memories

sometimes I want them back

but I'm on the wrong track

there's nothing here

people

remember and recall

but what I know is all

my past has disappeared

          I don't have memories

          somehow they've been set free

          

memories

don't occur to me

they're all a blur to me

they don't exist

I don't have memories

memories

don't occur to me

they're all a blur to me

they don't exist

other people

think about the past

but I've been miscast

I cannot reminisce

          I don't have memories

          the life that I knew

          has somehow withdrew

          I don't have memories

          the life I once had

          just makes me sad

          there's nothing here to see

          I don't have memories

memories

I have my history

why won't it come to me

I can't let it go

other people

think about their yesterdays

but I don't have much to say

about what I don't know

          I don't have memories

          all those days of old

          have secrets to be told

          I don't have memories          

          the wheels of my mind

          have nothing to find

          I can't remember what I don't see

          I don't have memories

long hard day (rewrite 1)

the refrigerator hums

a song I've always known

a symphony of melodies

of all the sounds of home

the ticking of the clock

and the ringing of a glass

I am so damn thankful

to be back home at last

          and it's the end of a long hard day

          it's the end of a long hard day

the living room's not vacuumed

the dishes need to be done

but first, it's time to get some rest

before the setting sun

being here at home

is exactly what I need

time to rest my weary bones

time to smoke some weed

          and it's the end of a long hard day

          it's the end of a long hard day

every day I want to stay

in the shelter of my bed

Lord, give me the strength 

to face the day ahead

I wake up every morning

the future is unknown

everything depends on

arriving safely home

          and it's the end of a long hard day

          it's the end of a long hard day

long hard day

the refrigerator hums

a song I've always known

a melody

a symphony

of all the sounds of home

the ticking of the clock

and the hissing of the gas

I am so damn thankful

to be at home at last

the living room is vacuumed

the dishes are all done

and now it's time to get some rest

before the setting sun

falls into the nighttime

let's turn the TV off

all this noise and clatter

I believe I've had enough

          and it's the end of a long hard day

          it's the end of a long hard day

no more arguments

no cursing me out

all the stupid things

my day job is about

being here at home

is exactly what I need

time to rest my tired bones

time to smoke some weed

          and it's the end of a long hard day

          it's the end of a long hard day

let me stay forever

is the shelter of my bed

Lord, give me the strength 

to face the day ahead

I wake up every morning

the future is unknown

everything depends on

arriving safely home

          and it's the end of a long hard day

          it's the end of a long hard day

your mother should have had an abortion

your mother should have had an abortion

because you turned out so wrong

she didn't know you were evil

but you knew it all along

nobody knows what happened

to make you so goddamn greedy

you help your rich friends out

while you penalize the needy

morning sky

I am on the sidewalk

looking at the morning sky

gray and cloudy, 

raindrops fall

the ground no longer dry

still I take a walk each day

with water on my forehead and hair

footprints mingle with the mud

the moment I'm not standing there

walk on these streets with me

there is no trouble brewing

all alone, 

no one to see

to tell me how I'm doing

I stare down at the cement

then lift my head again

to see where I am going

direction is my friend

for dear life (rewrite 1)

I'm holding onto you

for dear life

as I walk through a world

of hunger and greed

pain cuts through me

like a jackknife

but you beside me

is all I need

I don't know 

if I can make it through

that is why 

I'm depending on you

I'm sticking close to you

for dear life

I'm afraid I might stumble

afraid I might fall

you shine like a bright star

in the cold night

you are what I need

most of all

I know if I belong with you

I will see just what is true

I'm hanging onto you 

for dear life

I'm ready to start the day anew

I'm holding onto you 

for dear life

now I know what to do

for dear life

I'm holding onto you

for dear life

as I walk through a world

of hunger and greed

pain cuts through me

like a jackknife

but you beside me

is all I need

I don't know 

if I can make it through

that is why 

I'm depending on you

I'm sticking close to you

for dear life

I'm afraid I might stumble

afraid I might fall

you shine like a bright star

in the dark night

you are what I've needed

most of all

others have lied, but I know with you

I will see just what is true

I'm holding onto you 

for dear life

that's all I know how to do

I searched for evil

I searched for evil and it came to me

in the name of forgotten history

and I approved it

I said "come in"

and it swept through my body

like a cold, hard wind

now I cry on bended knees

"I need someone to help me, please"

worry

I've got nothing to do today

so I'll worry my life away

I'll devote each day and night

to whatever's not going right

what I don't want to find

is growing inside my mind

I don't know what's in store

so I'll worry some more

I worry about near and far

I worry about the world at large

I worry about what I'm about

I worry about my bank account

I worry about being strange 

I worry about climate change

I worry about that and worry about this

I think I need a therapist

          maybe I could change my mind

          think about something else

          but when I do I always find

          I just worry about myself

just when I think I'm free at last

I start worrying about my past

and when all that is done

I worry about the days to come

even if the worrying should cease

I doubt that I'll be at peace

'cause I know that something's wrong

so I worry on and on

someday I'll be set free

no more worrying for me

but till that day, I live in fear

my worrying will not disappear

I'll worry till the day I die

funny thing is, I don't know why

I know I'll never be free

worrying's just a part of me

I don't have memories

I don't have memories

they've been taken away from me

the life that I lived as a boy

has done its best to be destroyed

I'm not sure what to make of this

I've talked to doctors and therapists

I've done my best to carry on

but those memories are dead and gone

I don't remember much

not a loving word or a human touch

I don't know the bad, I've forgotten the good

the old times of my neighborhood

people talk to me of innocent times

I nod my head like it's all fine

I know my brain has work to do

I miss the days I never knew

          where are the times that I once lived

          why won't they enter my mind

          is there a reason that I should forgive

          something I can't find

          

I will go on my way

ain't no use looking for yesterday

now the days are moving fast

more hopes and dreams that just won't last

you tell your stories of childhood fun

I'd tell them too, but I have none

what the hell happened to me

I don't have memories

 

look at what you've done

look at what you've done

you let evil rule your heart

now your actions have come home

and they're tearing us apart

I remember everything you've done

I've memorized your name

and I'm convinced that since you voted

that you're the one to blame

and now our freedom's threatened

and you're suspect number one

look at what you've done

my turn to cry

I make my way 

through every day

I make lots of plans

I see myself 

as someone else

I don't know who I am

I can't ignore

who I was before

though I do my best to try

I always see

another side of me

when it's my turn to cry

it's a surprise

when I look in your eyes

and see the kindness there

I don't expect

the joy I collect

I'm always unaware

every move

describes the truth

that I cannot deny

I feel your love

I hope it's enough

when it's my turn to cry

keep me safe

I cannot wait

for peace to come my way

good or bad

or maybe it's sad

I'm sure it is here to stay

and I must mention

if you answer my questions

I'll know the reasons why

time is a thief

and I'll get no relief

when it's my turn to cry

please, nobody worry

please, nobody worry

I am doing all right

it's nice of you to be concerned

but I'll make it through the night

I have my books and podcasts

and ways to use my mind

if I use the wits about me

who knows what I'll find

but I will be okay

as fine as fine can be

all I'm asking of you, please

don't worry about me