Saturday, July 17, 2010

Freckles and a good heart


Man, I'm so fuckin' dissatisfied with my life. I wish...

Wait! Here's an idea. Tell me everything you wish for concerning yourself. Just make a big list. Don't think at all. Just get it all out in the open.

What? I don't think so. Sounds like one of those self-help exercises on the internet. I ain't gonna do it. No way, man.

Fine by me. If you're too scared to do it...

You fucker. Okay. (takes deep breath) Here goes.

I wish the summer wasn't going by so fast.
I wish I could make a living with music.
I wish I was better looking.
I wish I wasn't so afraid all the time.
I wish I was more physical.
I wish I could get laid.
I wish I didn't know so much.
I wish I knew more stuff.
I wish I was out of debt.
I wish my bedroom was clean.
I wish my parents were still alive.
I wish I was younger.
I wish I didn't have to die.
I wish I liked drinking whiskey.
I wish I lived back in Austin, Texas.
I wish I could always live by my brothers and my sister and their families.
I wish I could live my childhood over again and get it right this time.
I wish I could afford to buy fresh salmon and take-out Thai food.
I wish that the guitar that got stolen would magically return.
I wish I had smoked marijuana in high school.
I wish the CD player in my car still worked.
I wish I could buy a new computer.
I wish I was good at swimming and bicycling.
I wish I could fall in love with a country girl with freckles and a good heart.
I wish I liked vegetables more.
I wish I wasn't so financially unstable.
I wish I enjoyed Christmas more, because it can be a beautiful time.
I wish I could meet Willie Nelson, Ira Glass, and Bruce Springsteen.
I wish I liked red wine and feta cheese.
I wish I had a good ol' dog.

There. I'm done. For now.

Well, I'm glad you got all that out of your system. It can be relieving to let out some of your emotions.

So, were there any surprises?

Yeah. A big one. I had no wishes concerning the quality of my own music.

Also, you had no wishes concerning new friends and family.

Interesting, huh? I'm actually leaning about myself here. Maybe I'll do more lists like this.

Try it. It couldn't hurt.

Except I'm sure that this has got to be very, very, very boring.

Not at all. You're learning about yourself, that's all that matters.

I'm glad you think that,because this all seems a bit...well, self-centered. Beyond self-centered. Is there a word for it? Narcissistic?

I don't think that's the word. I wouldn't worry about any of this, farmboy. You're learning about yourself.

Okay. I'll take your word for it. But I'm not sure...

Well, then you're not taking my word for it, are you?

My head fuckin' hurts.



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