Tuesday, June 14, 2016
Out on the playground saying "Hey! Where is everyone?"
I'm feeling sad tonight, man. Now that I'm in my apartment, I find myself kinda looking back at the past few months and it seems so fuckin' surrealistic. I mean, boom! In one small moment everything changed in my life. I took an ambulance. I was in pain. My legs wouldn't move when I'd ask them to. I was scared, man.
I know you were, farmboy.
So then I'm in a hospital and I have surgery. Then I'm off to a rehab facility for a couple months. Then back to the hospital for their intensive therapy program. Then to my brother's. Now here in my apartment.
So what were all these little lives in these places? You know, chances are I'll never see most, if not all, of these people again. And that just seems cruel to me. And I know that that's crazy, but...
You get attached.
Like a fuckin' little kid, man. It's so fuckin' strong. It's like I'm out on the playground saying "Hey! Where is everyone?"
So I'll be fine. I'm just sad. I wish I had gotten to say goodbye to more people. The occupational therapist at the first rehab place, he was like the best friend I had there. But I didn't get to say thank you and goodbye and now he's part of the past. I wish I could have taken his picture at least. And I'll probably never see him again.
And it's that way with so many people in my life. My friends in Austin. The schools I've worked at. It's all one long fuckin' series of goodbyes, you know?
Man, I gotta think of something else. Where's that pipe at?