Enough fuckin' solitary confinement

Tonight I'm going to go see Louis C.K. I'm going with my brother and his wife and a former co-worker. This was my Christmas gift to by brother and his wife.

That should be great, farmboy. Especially since it's inauguration day.

That's something I am trying not to think about. I'm so disgusted with everything, but I can be strangely removed at times. I think I've given up in a way. 

Or maybe you're in some kind of survival mode. What does your therapist say?

Nothing. I haven't seen my therapist in a couple of weeks, because of the fuckin' snow.

Are you doing okay, farmboy?

I tried to remain calm the whole time and I was mostly successful at it. But I've had enough fuckin' solitary confinement, man.

I bet.

You know who I blame? The rehab places. I was just fine being antisocial and alone all the time. Then rehab introduced me to bring around people. Then I started getting lonely after I got out. I was having this weird feeling and I realized it was loneliness.

Which sounds like it was necessary. You need people, farmboy. We've had this conversation before.

I know. I'm just not used to needing people. I'm getting better at it, at least. I feel like I moved back a couple of steps because of all the isolation from the snow.

But, well, some days I feel like I'm just doing everything by the seat of my pants. I'm trying to think as well as I can. But the universe or God is pushing me into life and it's all I can do to keep up.