she's in the know

she knows everything about hollywood
but she's never been out of Nebraska
she knows the rumors a fangirl should
all you have to do is ask her
ask her whose career is running off course
ask her whose performance is a tour de force
ask her which director caused whose divorce
any movie or show
she's in the know

she knows everything about celebrity
and she's not talking discreetly
she gets the blues if she don't hear the news
before entertainment weekly
ask her which producer's running wild
which actor fathered the mystery child
they're the people on whom nature smiled
their plastic surgeons will tell you so
she's in the know

       and, yeah, she's got her husband
       her children and her home
       and subscriptions to show biz magazines
       the outside world has never known

she knows which performers know the martial arts
kung fu and karate
she knows all the sex lives of everyone
except the one of her own body
ask her what her dreams are
she won't say
she'll turn and look the other way
heading for another day
basking in the afterglow
she's in the know
she's in the know
she's in the know