mister suspenders

I know the day will come
when I'll be living easy
high on the hog
off the fat of the land
a winner at poker,
high stakes and parcheezee
you may think I'm sleazy
but you don't understand

the cops like to call me
mister suspenders
the gals like to call me
the pick of the bunch
my ex-wife used to call me
"hey, big spender"
just remember
don't call me late for lunch

           don't pin it on me
           I never knew the dame
           never tasted her sweet nectar
           never knew her Christian name
           you're only looking for
           someone to take the blame
           and you're thinking that someone
           should be me
           well, I disrespectfully disagree

you look like you could be
running for congress
you look like the lead actress
on that TV show
you look like there may be
a traitor among us
beneath all the fungus
only lies melted snow