I am my own Chris Gethard

I was lonely and scared
no one by my side
all day I moaned
all night I cried
then I heard Chris Gethard
and I knew what to do
I called Beautiful/Anonymous
but I couldn't get through 
oh, woe is me
I wish I were dead
but then a lightbulb
went off in my head
and I said:

I am my own Chris Gethard
now I encourage myself
someday I'll have it all together
with Geth to thank for my mental health
I don't sing along to Def Leppard
Morrissey's the music I make
I am my own Chris Gethard
I now give myself a break          

          I'm kind and understanding
          and to myself I listen
          I request forgiveness
          instead of begging permission

I am my own Chris Gethard 
though I'm not as funny as he
but you might say we're birds of a feather
winning in the struggle to be free
sometimes my life's the F-word
but the next day I always start anew
I am my own Chris Gethard
so he'll have time to be Chris Gethard, too
the one and only!
no other Chris Gethard will do
he ain't baloney
Chris Gethard, we love you