Thursday, May 4, 2017

No one ever hears me

Goddamn sonovabitch. What the fuck? 

farmboy! You're back! How was Ireland?

Ireland was great. But now I'm back to my life here, in which either nothing happens or everything goes fuckin' wrong. 

Don't get me wrong. I'm very, very grateful for the trip, believe me. I'm just so fuckin' frustrated because I come back here and fuckin' everything goes wrong. It's fuckin' uncanny, man. I can't fuckin' believe it! It's li!e this morning I'm going to the gym and I can't fuckin' go because the bus has no schedule now. For the second time I look like a fool to my trainer because fuckin' Trimet can't get its shit together. We're talking about buses not coming, for God's sake. It's not lateness; it's buses not even showing up. 

You're angry, farmboy...

And nothing will happen. That's all my life fuckin' is, man, all sorts of anger and hurt and pain and nothing fuckin' changes! No one ever hears me! I know I'm being irrational and self-pitying and stuff, but I'm mad and frustrated and hurt and I don't want to feel like this forever. (starts crying)

It's okay, farmboy, you're going to be all right...

No I'm not. Not this time. 

It's not fair.

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