all my beautiful dreams (rewrite 1)

all my beautiful dreams

have disappeared, one by one

leaving me to be alone

with only my regrets

all my beautiful dreams

vanished beneath the sun

and I am here to break even

and pay off my debts

all the bets I did not win

all the pleasures of the skin

I cannot go back again

my life proceeds downstream

oh, how I miss

all my beautiful dreams

I used to have a hopeful heart

it's always been that way

until the years kept spinning 

towards the end of time

now I see fragments

of long lost younger days

fading in the distance

with memories left behind

all the promises not kept

every night I left unslept

every single tear I've wept

I'm not sure what they mean

oh, how I miss

all my beautiful dreams

all my beautiful dreams

will live inside my soul

no matter what I do

I cannot keep control

I try to make them vanish

I tell myself they're through

but still they keep on talking

I don't know what to do

every word that I have said

all these failures in my head

still, the dreams remain undead

though they're never seen

oh, how I miss

all my beautiful dreams

oh, how I miss

all those beautiful dreams

all my beautiful dreams

all my beautiful dreams

have disappeared, one by one

leaving me to live alone

with only my regrets

all my beautiful dreams

vanished beneath the setting sun

and I am here to settle

and pay off my gambling debts

all the bets I did not win

all the pleasures of the skin

I cannot go back again

my life proceeds downstream

oh, how I miss

all my beautiful dreams

justice has now begun

everybody's waiting for the show to begin

mama's baking chicken and school's been let out

everybody's talking about what happened when

listen to the children with their playground shouts

now is the time for us to meet

rules must be kept and talk is cheap

now the time has finally come

justice has now begun

now we're married

I grew up and it wasn't a mistake

there's only so much childhood I could take

and I don't remember much, but I recall

that power's not yours when you're so small

so I grew up fast and I grew up mean

to be on covers of magazines

women, they flocked and men obeyed

and I had no reason to be afraid

until one day, she walked right in

and said "you need a life of sin

and I'm the one to show you the way"

I stammered and muttered and said okay

          and now we're married

          as cozy as can be

          yes, we're married

          from now on it's you and me

we have a little house on the outskirts of town

if you look for me, that's where I'll be found

saying no and saying yes

I see my life as a success

I didn't think I would settle down

but my wife has turned my head around

now I'm not the master of my own domain

ain't it amazing how things don't change

          and now we're married

          as cozy as can be

          yes, we're married

          from now on it's you and me

spring is coming

seasons are changing

and it's getting warm

spring is coming

waiting to be born

the sun is shining

degrees seventy-five

birds are singing

it's good to be alive

snow has melted

daffodils rise

the trees are so green

you can't believe your eyes

children are playing

neighbors mow lawns

spring is here

winter's moved on

spring is coming

the groundhog lied

it's time for me

to walk outside

to see the wonders

of my neighborhood

spring is coming

I'm feeling good

I am a weed (rewrite 1)

I am a weed and you don't like me

you say I'm something you don't need

but I'm as precious as a flower

both of us were born from seeds

I know you have your reasons

you want your garden to be just so

but I survive all four seasons

and I have the right to grow

I am a weed and you try to harm me

with chemicals and well-gloved hands

the winter cold may alarm me

but roots support me where I stand

you're convinced I don't belong

and you believe I shouldn't stay

but weeds don't know right from wrong

they keep on growing anyway

I am a weed and we do our duty

so you might as well enjoy the view

if you look, you'll see our beauty

the same life force as you

leave us alone to our own being

because we are not hurting you

and respect those weeds you're pulling

because we've got a job to do

I am a weed and you don't like me

I am a weed

I am a weed and you don't like me

you say I'm something you don't need

but I'm as precious as a flower

both of us were born from seeds

I know that you have your reasons

you want your garden to be just so

but I survive all four seasons

and I have the right to grow

I am a weed and you try to kill me

with chemicals and well-gloved hands

the winter cold may try to chill me

but my roots support me where I stand

you're convinced I am not wanted

and you believe I shouldn't stay

but weeds don't know that they don't count

they insist on growing everyday

I am a weed and we do our duty

so you might as well enjoy the view

if you look, you'll see our beauty

the same life force as you

leave us alone to our own being

because we are not hurting you

and respect those weeds you're pulling

because we've got a job to do

I am a weed and you don't like me

thoughts and prayers

I will give you thoughts and prayers

the real kind

not like the things politicians say

but actual thoughts and prayers

where I think and say

what I really mean

when I think about you

I am taking back

the phrase

because, deep down,

it is good inside

if I was your dog

if I was your dog

I would be your best friend

my devotion to you

would never end

I would fetch your slippers

I would wag my tail

I would bark at the postman

when he brings the mail

we would have ourselves

a real dialogue

if I was your dog

if I was your cat

I would not ignore you

I would purr and meow

and do a whole lot for you

I would be your little pal

who almost never talks

I would sleep and dream of birds

and poop inside a box

you would see me hanging around

and say "imagine that!"

if I was your cat

          it's tough to be an animal

          in this society

          you should take me home

          and keep me company

if I was your man

I would be a human

I could be your sweetheart

and you would be my woman

I would follow you around

and be on my best behavior

you could be my soulmate

and I'd never be a stranger

I would take care of you

and do the best I can

if I was your man

when I remember you

I think of days by the ocean

where our songs were sung

in the middle of summer

when we were still young

the water was cold

but the clear sky was blue

this is what I think of

when I remember you

washboards and banjos

harmonicas and guitar

we'd play until closing

when they shut down the bar

and we could be talked into

another song or two

this is what I think of

when I remember you

          those days are gone now

          and you've passed away

          but I still have the memories

          of those younger days

time was unending then

we had so much to learn

we'd drink the tequila

I even ate the worm

we saw opportunity

in everything we'd do

this is what I think of

when I remember you

me, I am old now

and I'm past innocent

I look back on those times

and wonder where they went

you will always be young

in my mind, it is true

this is what I think of

when I remember you

broken things

my heart is just one

of the many broken things

that make up my life

I try to fix it

I keep imagining

but I don't believe my eyes

I sleep all day

I stay in bed

I do not want

the day ahead

what I really want instead

is a reason to go on

all these broken things

are where they don't belong

my mind has a place

among the broken things

sometimes I think it's lost

it wanders and strays

balancing on a string

I cannot afford the cost

I try to contain it

as best I can

but it can't comprehend

or understand

sometimes I don't give a damn

but I know that isn't true

with all these broken things

I don't know what to do

I pretend I'm healed

of all those broken things

but, of course, I'm really not

I try to escape

the pain they bring

but this time I know I'm caught

but still I hope

and still I try

to keep searching

with my sore eyes

I say I will not

compromise

but all those words

are only lies

I tell myself are real

all these broken things

are the only way I feel

daydreams

there are daydreams

that you'll hold forever

in your imagination

for the rest of your life

they may not come true

but never say never

your dreams are the means

of trying to survive

all of your dreams

keep you from going under

the waves of sorrow

that life puts you through

the fields of lightning

the courage of thunder

all of your dreams

they're all up to you

johnny come home (rewrite 1)

johnny come home

mama's waiting for you

she's staying up late

praying for your return

johnny come home

there's so much to do

there are so many lessons

you have yet to learn

          you were at the wrong place

          at the wrong time

          the police abandoned

          the scene of the crime

johnny come home

we know it was a mistake

come back to us now

we'll help you hide

johnny come home

for heaven's sake

you don't know what it's like

to live on the outside

          you were in the wrong place

          when trouble broke out

          we're sure it's something

          you don't know about

johnny come home

we're waiting for you

to walk through that door

and look us in the eyes

johnny come home

it's past curfew

johnny come home

please be alive

johnny come home

johnny come home

mama's waiting for you

she's staying up late

praying for your return

johnny come home

forget what you've done

there are so many lessons

you have yet to learn

          you were at the wrong place

          at the wrong time

          the police searched

          at the scene of the crime

johnny come home

we know it was a mistake

come back to us now

we'll help you hide

johnny come home

we're worried about you

you don't know what it's like

to live outside

          you were in the wrong place

          when trouble broke out

          we're sure it's something

          you don't know about

johnny come home

we're waiting for you

to walk through that door

we want you to survive

johnny come home

you don't belong to the streets

johnny come home

please be alive

it's going to drive you crazy

it's going to drive you crazy

looking at other people

and comparing yourself to them

it's going to wreck your self esteem

when you don't let anybody in

you're going to step

in a puddle of yourself

following others' rules

the only way to success

is to be yourself

in whatever you do

saying goodbye to you

I don't know what to say to you

you really surprised me this time

you once told me you loved me

now we're returning to the scene of the crime

I thought I was safe and it turns out I was wrong

you knew you were lying all along

and me, I believed every word you said

I was some kind of crazy in the head

          leave me alone

          I can't make it through

          I can't go home 

          you've untied my shoes

          but I know now exactly what to do

          I'm saying goodbye to you

I don't belong to you (rewrite 1)

I have a question to ask you

why do you treat me like you do?

for so long I didn't have a clue

but now I'm changing into someone new

          give me some time and I won't remember

          the way I used to always surrender

          I recall just what you put me through

          I'm strong now and I don't belong to you

          

everybody says you're living proof

that people don't always tell the truth

but I believed every word you spoke

now I'm the punchline to my own joke

          give me some time and I won't recall

          how you once had me against the wall

          you're just some trouble I got into

          but I'm strong now and I don't belong to you

          give me some time and I'll recover

          the world will turn and I'll find another

          you'll fade away just like a bad tattoo

          I'm strong now and I don't belong to you

        

I don't belong to you

I have nothing to say to you

why do you treat me like you do?

when you were mine I didn't have a clue

but now I've changed into someone new

          give me some time and I won't remember

          the way I used to always surrender

          I recall just what you put me through

          I'm strong now and I don't belong to you

          

everyone tells me you're living proof

that people don't always tell the truth

but I believed every word you spoke

now I'm the punchline to my own joke

          give me some time and I won't recall

          how you once had me against the wall

          you're just some trouble I got into

          but I'm strong now and I don't belong to you

          give me some time and I'll recover

          I'll learn to change and find another

          you'll fade someday like an old tattoo

          I'm strong now and I don't belong to you

        

bad bad day

it's been a bad bad day

nothing ever went my way

this is the worst day I've ever had

the more the day went along

the more things I turned out wrong

everything just makes me mad

I got a lousy phone call

and, let me tell you, that's not all

the sink's stopped up and all the bills are due

the bus pulled up to every stop

my cereal's lost its snap, crackle, pop

and all my lies are ending up as true

          with all this trouble and worrying

          I don't know what to say

          except to whisper right out loud

          it's been a bad bad day

it's so hard on days like these

it's time to get down on my knees

and pray this day soon comes to a close

my back has had a heavy load

and my head's about to explode

and now I have a pimple on my nose

          with all this trouble and worrying

          I don't know what to say

          except to whisper right out loud

          it's been a bad bad day

tomorrow's coming soon, I hope

I don't know how else to cope

my social skills aren't what they used to be

so I will wait and I will plan

life accepts me as I am

someday my blues will just be history

          with all this trouble and worrying

          I don't know what to say

          except to whisper right out loud

          it's been a bad bad day

I should have realized

I should have realized

that you didn't really love me

but now I know

I was only a fool

I should have realized

you put yourself above me

that you pushed and shoved me

that you were cruel

but what did I do?

I kept on believing

that you were the one

now I look at the damage

that's been done

I should have known

you'd eventually leave me

all of your promises

have turned into dust

I should have known

that you would deceive me

that you wouldn't be

anyone I could trust

but what did I do?

I took all I knew

and threw it out of my mind

now I need to leave

your memory behind

          somewhere in my mind

          I'm witnessing a clearing

          I look around for you

          and you're disappearing

I should have realized

that you would desert me

that when I turned around

you wouldn't be there

i hope you enjoyed

the way that you hurt me

it look me by surprise

I wasn't prepared

but what did I do?

I stood there and watched you

holier than thou

I didn't know anything then

I know a whole lot more now

I should have realized

that you didn't love me

non-fiction

I'm so tired

of living in non-fiction

I could use

a little escape

my life

has always been a contradiction 

speaking for myself

I need to take a break

give me fantasy

give me my subconscious

anything except

the here and now

constant motion

always makes me nauseous

I'd like some peace

but I can't remember how

          I need a story

          one I could hide in

          I need a story

          to fit myself into

          hopefully one

          of money, fame and glory

          I need a story to tell me what to do

I would like

to be in my own movie

the editing room

would get a lot of use

I'd cut out all the pain

that has happened to me

I need a reason

I don't have an excuse

          I need a story

          one I could hide in

          I need a story

          to fit myself into

          hopefully one

          of money, fame and glory

          I need a story to tell me what to do

I'm so tired

of living in non-fiction

I need to go

where no one else has gone

it's my choice

I don't have to ask permission

give me a story

I can base my life upon

every stranger

I would like to thank

every stranger

who helped me out

even though they didn't know me

in times of sadness

in times of danger

in times of fear

they had something to show me

and through their mercy

I walked through the fire

pulling through

with whatever was required

I owe a lot to

every stranger

who gave me kindness

as I wandered on this earth

everything they did

was something major

I've depended on them

since the moment of my birth

and through their mercy

I made it though my fear

it's thanks to them

that I am even here

I would like to be

like every stranger

whoever stood by me

in times of trouble and need

when life had problems

I tried to change here

they gave me faith

and they planted the seed

and through their mercy

I learned to help myself

and give some kindness

to somebody else

I would like to thank

every stranger

who helped me out

even though they didn't know me

Easter

today is the day

to be reborn

a day for renewal

even though it may seem impossible

it isn't

it's there

beneath your hope

in your arms

you take care of it

like a newborn puppy

will you be safe?

it depends what you mean by "safe"

you will be different

you will have hope

you are reborn

on this day of glory

love comes knocking at the door (rewrite 1)

I'm betting that you'll understand me

you're as sweet as cotton candy

I see you out there looking like perfection

could you throw one glance in my direction

we'll save us both if we make the right decision

now we're adults, we don't need to ask permission

          can I be yours?

          will you be mine?

          in this time of darkness  

          with a no trespassing sign?

          will you be mine?

          can I be yours?

          will you be here

          when love comes knocking at the door?

I know exactly what it means to be alone

lost and forsaken, completely on your own

I know what it's like to lose your one and only

when everything you do ends up being lonely

with you beside me, we'll be ready for some action

everything we do will lead to satisfaction

          can I be yours?

          will you be mine?

          in this time of darkness  

          with a no trespassing sign?

          will you be mine?

          can I be yours?

          will you be here

          when love comes knocking at the door?

won't you pack a bag and run off with me

we've got a lot of the world to see

          can I be yours?

          will you be mine?

          in this time of darkness  

          with a no trespassing sign?

          will you be mine?

          can I be yours?

          will you be here

          when love comes knocking at the door?

love comes knocking at the door

I'm betting that you'll understand me

you are sweet and nice like fresh made cotton candy

I see you out there looking like perfection

could you throw one glance in my direction

I know exactly what it means to be alone

lost and lonely and completely on your own

we can save us both if we make the right decision

we're adults now, we don't need to ask permission

          can I be yours?

          will you be mine?

          in this time of darkness  

          with a no trespassing sign?

          will you be mine?

          can I be yours?

          can you be by my side

          when love comes knocking at the door?

people's photographs (rewrite 1)

I look at other people's photographs

and wish that I could be like them

with friends with whom you just might share a laugh

and see the spark within

picnics and parties

coke and Bacardi

no one's a stranger in the room

new friends and old

stories to be told

promises you'll be returning soon

I am amazed at people's photographs

because they're always having fun

laughter existing for its own behalf

sun shining bright on everyone

none of that arguing

conflict ruins everything

friendships broken and betrayed

I'm shy as I can be

there is no guarantee

that I won't be afraid

maybe I'll be in a photograph

like all those happy people are

it will be written on my epitaph

I spent my life just wishing on a star

will you invite me?

chances are, it might be

scary but I'll still take the risk

and if you have a camera

you'll take a panorama

to prove to others I exist

I want to be in people's photographs

drink in my hand and smile on my face

but I'll go down a forgotten path

to be strong another day

I miss people

everything's okay

as far as I can see

I have no problems

out to worry me

but I could use

a little company

I miss people

I rent my own apartment

I live by myself

I don't depend on

anybody else

but sometimes I need

just a little help

I miss people

           sometimes I think

           I'm used to being alone

           it's what I do

           it's the only life I've known

often I wish

my loneliness would end

I would enjoy

being social again

what I would give

to have some friends

I miss people

maybe tomorrow

I'll have something to do

maybe I'll meet someone

who will help me through

maybe that someone

will turn out to be you

I miss people

nobody notices me

nobody notices me

I am standing in the background

where people cannot see

nobody notices me

living in a world

where the past won't let me be

I am invisible

but I am here

I've done my best

to disappear

but I am not a mystery

nobody notices me

this is how my day begins (rewrite 1)

this is how my day begins

I brush my teeth and wash my skin

shave the whiskers off my chin

and start a brand new day

listen to the coffee perk

catch the bus and go to work

time to be a sales clerk

everyone out of my way

this is how my day starts out

with a whisper, not a shout

I'd like to be a layabout

but work needs to be done

time to please the customers

do whatever they prefer

I'm hoping I can find a cure

doctor, give me some

          I dream someday that things will change

          but they never do

          the same old stuff, but it's not enough

          to change my point of view

work all day, go back home

eat my supper all alone

my life is not my safety zone

I can't wait for sleep to come

a little peace is what I need

drink some whiskey, smoke some weed

satisfaction guaranteed

I don't bother anyone

          I do my best to get some rest

          when I walk through the door

          of my apartment here

          I grab a beer

          and do what I did before

          

I've learned falling is not enough

it may be hard, it may be rough

it all depends on getting up

as best as you know how

I am standing once again

considering this world I'm in

I'm the same man that I've always been

and somehow that's enough

          I dream someday that things will change

          but they never do

          but still I try

          I don't know why

          it's how I make it through

          some days I lose

          some days I win

          this is how my day begins

          

this is how my day begins

this is how my day begins

I brush my teeth and wash my skin

shave the whiskers off my chin

and start a brand new day

listen to the coffee perk

catch the bus and go to work

time to be a sales clerk

everyone out of my way

work all day, go back home

eat my supper all alone

my life is a danger zone

I can't wait for sleep to come

a little peace is what I need

drink some whiskey, smoke some weed

satisfaction guaranteed

I don't bother anyone

          I dream someday that things will change

          but they never do

          the same old stuff, but it's not enough

          to change my point of view

this is how my day starts out

with a whisper, not a shout

I'd like to be a layabout

but work needs to be done

time to please the customers

do whatever they prefer

I'm hoping I can find a cure

doctor, give me some

          I do my best to get some rest

          when I walk through the door

          of my apartment here

          I grab a beer

          and do what I did before

          all I ever do is clean

          this massive mess I'm in

          this is how my day begins

I've learned falling is not enough

it may be hard, it may be rough

it all depends on getting up

as best as you know how

I am standing once again

considering the shape I'm in

all I want's a way to win

if that can be allowed

          I dream someday that things will change

          but they never do

          but still I try

          I don't know why

          it's how I make it through

          and tomorrow I'll wake up from my sleep

          and do it all again

          this is how my day begins

          

now I am transparent (rewrite 1)

my life has been like everybody else's

hard and rough and tough to explain

sometimes I give, sometimes I'm selfish

sometimes I feel as constant as the rain

I have tried to stand my ground

but I can't hide the sorrow I've found

           and now I am transparent

           anyone can read my thoughts

           you can look right at my face

           and see what I am not

           now I am transparent

           my insides are outside

           for the whole wide world to see

           there's something fierce inside of me

           now I am transparent

like cellophane over something new

you can see just how I feel 

I'm someone you can see right through

I wear my smile like a shield

I have tried to be somebody else

now I'm afraid to be myself

          and now I am transparent

          now you see just who I am

          I try to hide myself inside

          but I don't think I can

          now I am transparent

          I'm lost and so alone

          I don't know what I can do

          to find a way for breaking through

          now I am transparent

maybe someday I'll do the best I can

maybe someday I'll finally understand

          but now I am transparent

          and I'm so disgraced

          everything I feel 

          always shows within my face

          now I am transparent

          like the air that's in the sky

          I'm as clear as I can be

          there's nothing that's protecting me

          now I am transparent

          

darkness in my soul

dark gray clouds are coming in

along with a whistling wind

it's going to rain again

but I like it that way

I hope that you won't find me rude

or think that I've been misconstrued

but the rain and cold fit my mood

on this dark and dreary day

          I don't want to see the sun

          shining down on everyone

          I just want to have control

          over this darkness in my soul

sadness always comes to me

when I think I'm finally free

of pain and all its misery

that's when I see it returning

it's biology, simple and plain

I'm missing something in my brain

everything turns out the same

despite lessons I am learning

          I don't need to count the stars

          to find that I am worlds afar

          loneliness swallows me whole

          with this darkness in my soul

this morning I will start again

I'll take a pill, some Klonopin

and see if the light will let me in

but I know it's all in vain

the voices in my head stand trial

fighting off my weak denial

if I can, I know that I will

try to fight it off again

          I don't have to read the signs

          I know I'm fucked up in my mind

          this living sure does take a toll

          inside the darkness in my soul