Oh man, I gotta tell you, I keep fighting all this emotional stuff, all the time, I just want a fuckin' time out once in a while. Anyway, I was surprised to find out that I missed talking with you and that I was making up messages to you in my head. Satisfied?
What emotional stuff?
You know, it's all complicated and I kinda feel like if I knew what it was it might be easier. I've spent my life defining myself, diagnosing my own mental illness. But, anyway, I was on the internet the whole time or wearing headphones and listening to that "TBTL with Luke Burbank" podcast, you know, computer Scrabble. 'Cept they don't call it Scrabble, 'cause of lawsuits with Hasbro or something.
What emotional stuff?
Damn. What it is, man, it's the feeling that I'm subhuman, that I'm just a...shithead, you know.A natural shithead. And that there is nothing I can do about it. And I know rationally that that's not true, but I don't know it emotionally. And I guess I didn't talk to you because I thought I'm going to sound like a needy whiny adolescent. And I am not an adolescent. I'm a long way from that.
Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't know this...
There's no reason you should. (pauses) That's just what it is. Can we go on to trivial matters?
Get some rest tonight, farmboy.
Thanks.
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