Hand me the razor blade, I'm done here

It's so fuckin' hard to be a human individual, man. Life would be so much easier is the answers and the questions were all "one size fits all," you know?

Ah, but it wouldn't be so interesting, would it, farmboy?

I suppose not. Maybe. Music would suffer if the world was perfect. Can you imagine nothing but happy songs? Man, hand me the razor blade, I'm done here.

Come on, farmboy. You know that there are plenty of good songs that just happen to be happy.

Yeah? Name one.

"Take Me Home, Country Roads" by John Denver.

Oh puh-leez. You can do better that that.

"Dancing Queen" by Abba.

Well, look, the conflict in both those songs is that they're fantasies of the singer. This guy singing "Country Roads" probably works a dead-end job in some hell-hole like Phoenix, you know? He wants to go home.

With the singers in Abba -- the two women, anyway -- well, they're living for that moment when they're dancing in the club. That's where they're fuckin' dancing queens. That's not their character's everyday life. Pretty mundane, just like my life, in a way.

Okay. "Tequila" by the Champs.

Well, okay, there you go. Score one for Mr. Interviewer Sir.

You mean I'm right?

I hate to admit it.