I feel so low (I need to get high)

hand me that pipe, mama
fill it all the way up
I know full well 
when I've had enough
pull out the lighter, babe
flick me your bic
I need medicine, darlin',
and I need it quick

          remember me, honey?
          I used to be one happy guy
          well, those days are over
          now I feel so low I need to get high

slide over that bottle, sweetheart,
I'm dying of thirst
I don't know if this living
is a blessing or a curse
I believe I'm allergic
to this life of mine
I'm so glad I'm not allergic 
to cheap-ass wine

          hey hey baby
          anything is my alibi
          I feel a hangover coming
          I feel so low I need to get high

some people call me lazy
some people say I'm a grouch
I don't care what you call me
I ain't getting off this couch
so pass me those doritos
mcdonald's, here we come
I'm like karen carpenter, baby
I've only just begun

          I'm gonna bask in my self-pity
          till the day I die
          hey, where you going?
          I feel so low I need to get high