Saturday, November 26, 2011

Burned by the future

Hey, farmboy, how's it going?

Going okay, I guess my beautiful five-day weekend is almost over.

What do you mean? It's only Saturday night.

I know. I'm anticipating, what I don't know...anticipating. I do that a lot.

Yes, you do. But at least you're aware of it, and that it may not be the wisest of things to do.

Oh, trust me, I know how stupid it is. I still do it. Pisses me off. I don't know what purpose it fills.

Think about it.

(farmboy thinks for a few minutes)

It may be that I don't want the future to sneak up on me. Or something like that. I've been burned by the future before, and I ain't gonna let it fuckin' hurt me again.

So you can't, or don't...or won't...enjoy the present because you don't want to be hurt by the future?

Yeah. Something like that, I mean. I'm sure it serves some kind of fuckin' purpose but I'm not sure what it is yet.

Do you need to know?

I think it would help, yeah. I think it would be good, man.

But you're right, I'll admit that.

Right about what, farmboy?

That I don't enjoy the present because I'm afraid of the future, or something. That's a little closer. Now I just got to figure out what I'm afraid of, and then...then we'll take it from there.

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