all I want for Christmas are antidepressants

give me my credit card
take me to Amazon
I'll buy all the gifts
with the touch of my fingertip
I'll send all the cards
write the personal notes
send a photo attached
with a red and green paper clip
see the wife
the kids
on our trip to Madrid
under lights natural
and fluorescent
it may seem strange
but the truth still remains
all I want for Christmas
are antidepressants

give me wellbutrin
pass me the prozac
wrap them in silver
and tie on a bow
paxil and effexor
lexapro and celexa
will give me the peace
I should rightfully know
too much cheer?
feel like crap?
hunker down for a nap
go ahead
relive adolescence
it may seem weird
but after this year
all I want for Christmas
are antidepressants

so gather up all the children
send them to China
fly my wife to Nebraska
to visit her mom
take out the tree
sell all the gifts
and if they ask you
I've switched to Islam
a gift for me?
please don't buy it
all I need is
peace and quiet
to make me warm
and effervescent
don't be so alarmed at me
just go to the pharmacy
all I want for Christmas
are anti depressants
I wish I may
I wish I might
please give me a Silent Night
all I want for Christmas
are antidepressants