Saturday, March 19, 2016

You have to kind of surrender

Well, I've been in this physical rehab center for a little over a month. 

That's got to be a change from your everyday life,  farmboy. How has it been? Do you feel okay? I know that you have issue with depression...

It's kinda like being in a foreign country all of a sudden. It's a fuckin' shock the first few days but then you have to kind of surrender. I mean, you make a decision, conscious or not, about how you're going to live, emotionally speaking. I accepted that my life was going to be extremely different and that I was going to have to have a positive attitude. I mean, I'm gonna go through this time anyway so I need to avoid the negative emotions as much as possible.

You know, farmboy, I'm a little surprised to hear you talking in terms of positive and negative.

As a friend of mine once said, desperate times call for drastic measures. I've been trying to be positive and I'm mostly successful, I think. I stay away from things that could make me not feel so good. I'm paying only a little attention to the election. I know what's going on generally, but I don't dwell on it, man. I feel like that could be dangerous. I can't afford to be miserable, it takes too much energy. 

And I need all the energy I can get, man. I need it because I need to work hard so I can walk again. I have to be strong.

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