Bloom and blossom

Man, this is so fuckin' hard, this mental illness thing. Jesus. It's just...insidious. I would really like to go through a couple days without feeling so weak and needy, just so I can show myself that I don't have to be weak and needy.

Hang in there, buddy. You're doing good, farmboy, you really are. You don't know that yet, but it's true.

Thanks, man. That means a lot. 

You know, I got criticized a lot growing up and maybe that's how I treat myself, I don't know. But, man, I just fuckin' bloom and blossom when people tell me I'm doing well. It's like I'm a dog: "Who's a good farmboy? You're a good farmboy!" I fuckin' melt when people show approval and affection. I'm, like, fuckin' hungry for it.

I know, farmboy. What I've noticed is that you're hungry for it and you need it, but you won't give it to yourself.

I don't know how. 

It's so fuckin' hard right now. It's just hard to be human. It hurts. It sucks.

It's mental illness, farmboy.

And all its stigma.

It's you that has that stigma, farmboy. What anyone else thinks doesn't matter. Try getting rid of the stigma that's in your mind and see what happens.

I know. Maybe I need to think of all this as working on mental health rather than an illness. 

It's all in the wording, man.

Spoken like the brilliant songwriter you are, farmboy.

Ah, shucks, man.