Strong guy

Man, I just don't fuckin' know. I've been feeling so emotionally weak. All through this fuckin' thing, you know? It's like, for the past six months I've had to be as strong as I've ever been and I feel so weak. And I... (falls silent)

And you what, farmboy?

I never admitted to myself that I've had to be strong. Not once. Honest, man. This is the first fuckin' time.

It's true, farmboy. You're a strong guy.

Anyway, man, I don't know...All I ever do is smoke weed and think about the accident and think about rehab and think about all the people I miss and that I'll never get to be part of their lives and that isn't fair. 

None of this is fair, farmboy.

And I'm not even saying it should be fair. I'm not saying why me? I'm just tired. You know, I think about Chase and how I'll never get to be his friend...

You don't know that...

I think about that with Forest, too.

Who's Forest? 

The physical therapist I worked with. She's great, she really is. I was extremely fortunate. I had the best therapists in the world. I'm talking Marquis, Providence 4-K, Home Health, all those people. Maybe I was too lucky. Maybe my therapists were too nice.

I don't think so, farmboy...

Anyway, I'm getting all the emotional fallout now, aren't I? I keep thinking Don't be so fuckin' weak. Be a man! And then...

Hey, farmboy?

Yeah, man?

Listen for a minute. Don't talk. I need you to hear me.

Okay, Shoot.

Farmboy. Stop it. Give yourself a chance. You've been through a terrible trauma. You may need to get help -- which you have done and are doing. I've been watching you, I've been listening to you, and, farmboy...You're not doing well, son...

Son?

Listen. You're not in a good place. It's like you're ill right now.

I am ill right now. I am mentally ill. With all the fuckin' stigma that goes along with it.

farmboy, listen.

What?

Shut the fuck up.

What did you say?

(the interviewer's voice gets louder) Shut up, farmboy. Shut the fuck up. Let me talk. Listen!

(farmboy pulls back, speaks weakly)  Okay, man.

You've had a major trauma, farmboy-- probably more than one. You are not doing well. You need professional help...

Which I am getting...

Be quiet, farmboy. I mean it.

I'm...I'm sorry, man.

You need to listen to your therapist. He -- what's his name?

Brian.

Brian. He sounds like a good man, this Brian. Listen to him, farmboy. I'm not saying you have to agree 100% with everything he says, but you need to listen to him and consider what he's saying.

You've been through major physical and emotional traumas, farmboy. I'm no expert, believe me, but I know you've had some major damage done. It's not just your body that needs healing. 

But just like your legs have made so much improvement, your life can do that too. But you're not trained. Your therapist -- your psychologist -- is trained. And he believes in what he's doing, he's passionate. Give his a chance. Don't rebel automatically.

I can tell you other things,but you already know them. Try to eat well; you've been doing well at that. Same with exercise. You need to walk more, but you're doing great with physical therapy.

See people. See friends. Reach out.

You're going to get better, farmboy, I know it. You're a strong guy. You're a smart guy. I'm glad I know you.

farmboy?

Can I speak?

(the interviewer sighs, exhausted)  farmboy, I'm so sorry I yelled and cursed at you. I just got frustrated and lost control.

No,no, you're okay, man. I'm kinda glad you got my attention.

That was the purpose, I guess.

So, anyway, I'll think about everything you said. That's all I can promise right now.

You know, it's weird. I kinda want to say thank you, but I'm kinda not sure.

That's fine, farmboy. I am sorry I yelled.

That's fine.

Hey!

Yes, farmboy?

Thanks, man.