Broken record

It's a beautiful day outside. I just got back from my walk, where I had a couple of nice encounters with people from the neighborhood. So why am I always so depressed?

It's called a "major depressive disorder." That's what you have, farmboy. That's one of your two major diagnosis's. 

That's right. I forgot. And the other one was...

PTSD.

Yeah, PTSD. I never quite understood that one. I was never in the military, never saw combat. I was never sexually assaulted. What the fuck am I going to have PTSD over?

You'd be surprised.

That tells me a fuckin' lot.

The mind's a tricky thing, farmboy. 

I just get tired of fuckin' trying sometimes. I'm so frustrated. I'm so angry. I'm a fuckin' broken record just going over and over the same things. 

On the other hand, you did go out for a walk today. In the sunshine. You talked to neighbors. I imagine you probably smiled and were friendly. What's up for the rest of the day?

I'm going to see my therapist in a little while, then I'll buy a burrito for this evening's dinner. It's the culinary highlight of my week.

I'm glad that you're going to see your therapist.

I am too. I hope I can get something out of it rather than just complaining like I always do. I really need help.