I just feel like being sad

Hey, I'm back at home for a couple days until it gets super hot again. I don't want to wear out my welcome, you know, plus they're busy with moving and regular life and such. I'm sure it would have been all right to stay but I thought this is probably best.

How it everything going, farmboy? Did it help to get away for a night?

Yeah, it was great to be around people…

That's something you normally don't say.

I know. I've just been way too fuckin' isolated here in this apartment. I'll be fine, but going away and seeing my niece and my brother and sister-in-law is what I needed. It breaks my heart that they're leaving, but I don't want it to show around them, because I'm sure they're having all sorts of thoughts about moving to Yakima.

Well, at least they'll be living in a state where marijuana is legal.

Don't I know it. And don't they know it, too.

So it's been tough, and there's all these things to do with the CD, things that have to be done. And that's okay. I just feel like being sad and sleeping all day, and that's not healthy, I'm sure.

Some of that is fine though, farmboy. You are grieving, you know.

I'm doing some of it. But I don't want to overdo it, because I know that I can. I just feel so fuckin' sad, you know.

I know.

I have to keep reminding myself that I'm grieving, and that now may not be a good time to take everything else on, which is something I do. And then I get into a state of intense panic and anxiety and…well,that's no fuckin' good, you know?

So I'm okay. No need to worry about me, man. I'll be fine.

I know you will, farmboy. I have no doubts.

I know I will, too. It just takes time, I guess.