ceiling fan

I watch the ceiling fan

as I lie in bed

trying hard to not think

of the day that lies ahead

sleep, won't you take me

to another time

where I don't think about

the girl who left me behind

I let the ceiling fan

push the air around

I lie there, still as silence,

I don't make a sound

and try not to listen

to the thoughts in my mind

because they remind me

of the girl who left me behind

          but I can't help it

          the voices in my brain

          just keep on repeating

          the reasons for my pain

I look at the ceiling fan

continuing to spin

confirming with each movement

the shape that I am in

I know someday I'll be okay

I'm still looking for a sign

all I can think of

is the girl who left me behind