Scout's honor

Ah, fuck.

Hello stranger. I was hoping I'd see you.

Well, here I am. (pauses) You know what pisses me off?

Tell me.

The fact that I feel that I deserve to be yelled at. Not just deserve, but also I kind of want to be yelled at. This is very hard for me and...this is so fuckin' hard. Fuck,

This emotional age business, it makes sense.

What would you guess your emotional age is, farmboy?

I've been thinking about this and I think the truth is that it changes to meet whatever happens in the real world. It's not too smart to go to work when you have an emotional age of, like, eight, when you wake up in the morning. So you take a shower and get dressed and make coffee and you go off and now your emotional age is, say, 45 or something, (laughs) That's what you need to be to face your job. Eight just wouldn't cut it.

What if you just couldn't do that one day?

That's what God invented sick leave for.

That's also why you need to take care of yourself, so you have the strength and stamina to get you through the day.

This conversation...fuck...

I was enjoying this conversation.

No, what I mean is...is this conversation didn't go the way I thought it would.

What were you expecting, farmboy?

I figgered...

Figgered?

I figured I'd come in and you'd yell at me like I was a fuckin' teenager who stole your keys and took your fuckin' car for a fuckin' joy ride. And that's when I took it to its logical conclusion, which was that I was pissed because I figured I deserve it and want to be fuckin' yelled at. I mean, where the fuck did that shit come from? You know?

I thought the conversation would be different, too.

Really? How so?

I thought you would be angry at me and that I'd have to start walking on eggshells. Again.

I didn't know you were walking on eggshells. I'm sorry.

It's partially my fault too, you know. I wanted to do my best.

You've been great.

It's important to me that I get this right, that I can help you. So I'm trying different things and seeing what works. Which means I make mistakes.

Man, you are so fuckin' awesome, you don't know.

Thanks.

Just one little suggestion, okay?

(laughs) Okay.

You've gotta let me in your life a little more. I feel like I can't ask anything about you and that...that sucks, you know? I mean, you don't have to tell me everything, just something. I'm not going to interview you. I'll let you be the interviewer. Just let me get to know you.

All right. Not too much, though. The focus has to be on you.

And why's that?

It just has to. Everything you need to know you will know when it's the right time.

Well, that's a little new-agey.

(sighs) You can ask me stuff, farmboy. You got a question for me.

Just one?

For tonight. There'll be time for lots of questions.

Here's the question.

Go ahead.

Um...do you like me?

I'll tell you, farmboy. I like you like a parent likes his child.

Seriously?

Scout's honor.

Man, I don't know what to say.

I like you too.