Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Lonely old me


So I'm so stressed...or something, I don't know what.

What's up, farmboy?

It's money, you know. Everybody's got their fuckin' hand out insisting on more, more, more.

So what's up is that I'm not going to my friend's surprise party -- the one that I planned and stressed out over -- because I can't afford a ticket. I can't fuckin' afford to live, if you wanna know the goddamn truth. And I'm dreading telling the people involved. I feel like I've let everyone down.

On the other hand, I also know that it's not the end of the world. I can call my friend at the party, you know? there are people in a lot worse situations than lonely old me. There's a recession going on, for Crissake! My bills are paid, I've got a place to live, I have food, I have my guitar. I am extremely blessed, and I'm aware of it. Not flying out-of-state for a party is far from the worst thing that could happen.

It's more like I don't want to admit to people that I fucked up...

You didn't fuck up.

Or that I'm poor, then. Which is a word I don't use in describing myself, by the way. I have an apartment, bills are paid, all that stuff I said before. I don't consider myself poor, really.

Maybe this is all just pride. Or maybe I'm afraid of losing friends. Or maybe I subconsciously don't want to go, or something. But...things could be worse. A lot worse.

It's good that you know that, farmboy.

Yeah, I'm even aware of that.

You know, yesterday was election day, and -- damn it! -- those fuckin' Republicans are back, and these fuckin' tea party people, and I think maybe we Americans are just fuckin' stupid. And spoiled. A fuckin' idiot stays eight years in the White House and fucks everything up, and people are mad at Obama because he hasn't made everything perfect yet, So America throws a fuckin' tantrum. (pauses) But this is all another conversation.

Get some rest, farmboy. Eat something, relax. You've got the right perspective about your situation.

I needed to get that stuff off my chest. I guess I'm angry and frustrated.

Thank you for listening, man. You don't know...

Any time, farmboy.

Well, (laughs) I'm sure this isn't the last.



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