Wednesday, March 7, 2012

And I know nothing about Zen

Hey farmboy, can I ask you something?

Sure, man. Shoot away.

I've noticed that I haven't been hearing from you as much as I usually do. Is there something wrong?

Not with you. With me. I'm stuck in a cycle of self-doubt and it's because of the recording. And I seem to be stuck there. Damn, man. It's such a fuckin' motherfucker, man, and I don't know how I'm gonna fix it.

I mean, I don't ask for much, you know? I just want to be the best songwriter in the world. That's all. That's not too much, verdad?

No, not too much at all. You certainly put yourself under a lot of pressure with your music. I wonder how good that pressure is.

I'm beginning to wonder that, too. I wish I had someone I could trust to produce me or at least oversee the project. That would really help.

The thing is, I don't want to abdicate responsibilities, especially when it comes down to my own music. Whatever it is, it's mine. But I know it's limited and I also don't think I know enough. And I think I may even know what a big fuckin' part of my problem is.

What's that, farmboy?

I'm thinking too much. When I rehearse, I'm thinking too much. I'm always thinking too much, man. You know, Paul Simon has two songs called "Think Too Much." Now, that's something, when you write two fuckin' songs called"Think Too Much."

It's funny. I try to not think so hard when I'm writing and I leave a lot of stuff up to instinct.

And that seems to work for you.

I think so. I fuckin' hope so.

So maybe it comes down to some kind of relaxing. Maybe it's one of those Zen things. And I know nothing about Zen.

You'll find out, farmboy.

Yeah. We'll see, won't we?

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