hard

I am hard today
you cannot penetrate me
I am like those rocks people find
with unknown identity
millions and millions of years
Nick DeGrassi
Carl Sagan
are you here?
I need someone to notice me

I am a child today
but that's not always good
there's a lot of lies
and alibis in childhood
children get beaten
and children get shoved
and they build walls around them
so they never get love
and I've got walls around me
been there since my infancy
I need someone to notice me

I am fourteen
I don't know who I am
I'm always finding a way
through life's traffic jam
alone's the only thing
I've ever really felt
'cept those whippings
from my old man's belt 
and I confess that I provoked him
at least two times, maybe three
I need someone to notice me

I am alive today
tomorrow, I don't know
all the signs around me say
man, look out below
I have no idea how 
this mystery will progress
half of me's excited
half is scared-to-fuckin' death
I'm as confused as only I can be
somebody notice me
somebody notice me