supposed to say

there is no truth
there are no lies
only what you're
supposed to say
I am judge
and I am jury
and I will get
what's coming my way
I tried to be silent
I tried to be smart
but somehow my house
of cards fell apart
and what do I do 
with this broken heart?
what happens to all the pain?
please don't tell me
that some of it
always remains

experts talk about grief
doctors talk about healing
ain't nobody talking
about what I'm feeling
I feel hurt
I feel scared
I feel totally 
unprepared
I tried to be silent
but I was burning with pain
so I had to keep screaming
again and again
and what do I do 
with this broken heart?
what happens to all the hurt?
is attention something
I'm just not worth?

I once knew hope
I thought it could exist
till the side of my face
met my father's fist
and I know it looks like
it turned out okay
but I swear I can feel it
to this very day
I'm afraid of human beings
'cause I know what they can do
and I am afraid of you
and I am afraid of you
so what do I do
with this broken heart?
what happens to all the pain
do we learn?
do we grow?
is there wisdom to know?
or is all my suffering in vain?
is my suffering in vain?