Sunday, September 4, 2016

Mental illness takes advantage


Man, this is all so tough. This accident, this flare-up of mental illness, the trauma stuff, the stuff the medical professionals are calling PTSD...

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. That's what I thought too, farmboy.

I thought that PTSD was pretty much a thing veterans went through. I'm not saying that lightly; that's all I ever heard it referred to. But then, I wasn't paying much attention.

You didn't have a need to now about PTSD, farmboy. Or trauma.

It seems so fuckin' unfair, man. I've got these physical injuries to attend to, and then mental illness takes advantage and moves on. What the fuck?

It is unfair. I'm so sorry you have to go through all this, farmboy. You have had a tough year, that's for sure. 

You know, things better change for me. I don't mean that completely in a self-pity way (laughs); I mean, after I go through all this crap and do all this work, I better not fuckin' go back to working at a job I despise, isolating myself all the fuckin' time, being so lonely that it fuckin' hurts. 

Damn, man, I swear, depression is a fuckin' walk in the park compared to this shit. This stuff fuckin' attacks you. It's out for blood. It's looking to torture.

It's all going to get better, farmboy. It really is. You'll look back on this time and think "Oh, yeah, that happened."

Maybe. I'm having a hard time imagining that. But, you know, time. It keeps on moving. And hopefully it'll take me out of here.


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