Everything is a trigger

Man,, I just don't know. Physically, I've made great progress. But emotionally, man...I'm just as fuckin' confused as ever. 

farmboy, I could tell you to have patience, but you already know that. I know it's frustrating and I wish there was something I could do.

You're listening, man, and that's plenty. 

I've been busy, but that'll be changing soon. I'm finished with the mental health outpatient program-thingy I was doing.Ten days, I think. It was good. I'll miss it. It was good to form relationships with people who were my peers, who weren't staff. 

Monday's my last day of occupational therapy for my hands and on Tuesday physical therapy ends. This whole fuckin' experience -- the fuckin' accident and its emotional fallout -- seems to be one extended period of saying goodbye to people. Fuck.

What are you going to be replacing your therapies and classes with?

I figured I'd smoke a lot of weed and overthink my problems.

farmboy...

I kid, I kid. I'm planning on joining a gym and seeing my therapist twice a week for a while. I've got these projects I want to do. I want to make a website, I want to do this radio documentary, and I want to make an album. I'm gonna be taking this storytelling class -- just met with the teacher yesterday. I want to get in shape and have friends and rule the world.

I'd like to see you rule the world, farmboy.

Don't start me talkin' about politics, man. It's a trigger. Everything is a trigger in the world according to farmboy.

I'm just going through all this by the seat of my britches day by day. This is all so surreal, so confusing, so fuckin' painful.

I know, farmboy...

But, you know, the creativity's happening. And that's a big thing for me. 

I'm still getting up in the morning, man. And, you know, some days that's a real accomplishment.