pretending to forget

I should be on that bus
I should be riding that ol' Greyhound
they say "leave the driving to us"
fact is I can't afford to lose ground
and if anyone's concerned
I don't know which way to turn
of all the lessons I've had to learn
this is the hardest yet
pretending to forget

I should have done this long ago
I should trusted my own voice
instead I've been afraid to grow
fact is now I have no choice
and if anybody cares
I'll be hobbling down the stairs
completely unaware
of the meaning of regret
I'm pretending to forget

maybe I shouldn't have these dreams
what if hope is not allowed?
well, the problem is, it seems,
it's too late for that now
and if I could read the signs
I'd see what I need to find
if I trusted my own mind
this ain't russian roulette
I'm just pretending to forget