Saturday, July 14, 2012

Feeding the monster


Hey, man...


I'm glad to see you, farmboy. How are you doing?


I'll be honest with you, man. It's fuckin' hard. I mean, damn! My mind fuckin' takes off, y'know?   So I'm having this fuckin' financial crisis, and that's hard enough. But then my mind comes in and throws everything else in the fire with it. So there's financial and there's emotional. Plus I've cut down big time on weed, so I don't have that escape most of the time. 


Right now I'm okay. I think I'm past the panic and anxiety of today, but then I just smoked some weed. For the first time since Sunday, which is pretty good for me. We'll see how it works out. It might be something I just have to quit.


So, man, how are you doing?


I'm fine, farmboy. Listen, I need to know whether you're okay or not. This is important to me.


Why?


I need to know that you're not in danger.


I'll be fine. I will let you know and I will let someone else know if I am in danger, as you put it. I need to stop fuckin' fantasizing about it. I can't be feeding the monster, you know?


But it's so fuckin weird, man. It's like being fuckin' possessed. It's fuckin' mental illness, man! It this feeling of complete hopelessness.


So, man, I'll let you know as time goes on. 


farmboy, keep in touch...


Sure thing, man. Hey...thanks. Your listening helps more than you'll ever know.



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